not "when" yet

Lauren did indeed work her string-pulling magic. The new agency has told her that they would be willing to represent me. (WOW!) However, I'm still waiting to have an e-mail answered by the agency. (I picked a great time to be switching--what with the holidays and my current agency's reaccreditation. SARC!) I want to speak to the director directly before making any decisions. If they are willing and able to register me in Leningrad Oblast then we'll switch. (gulp) If they reccommend another region, I'll need to weigh things a bit. It seems like a wasted opportunity to be in Russia, able to visit d2b regularly between "trips", and not take advantage of all the transition-smoothing that would allow. That being said, I am willing to go wherever it is that d2b is waiting. I've really wanted to take the Trans-Siberean Railway to Vladivostock for years now... ;>

I know that I am too much of a people-pleaser. Not only do I want my current agency to like me, I feel like I'M letting THEM down by considering a switch. I believe that they did nothing out of malice. However, their cautiousness and unpleasant demeanor has cost me time, social workers and irreparable damage.

I try not to dwell on what's been invested so far. But, you've been asking, so who am I to disappoint? I quit my perfect job 3 1/2 years ago to start saving and building respectability. I announced my plans and officially "started" about 22 months ago. I've spent $7000 with my current agency. My first hs (which never saw the light of Russia) cost $1800. My second hs, so far, has cost $2200. It will cost another $1000 to complete. So, I guess that's a total of 3 1/2 years and about $12,000 invested so far.

I know there's a reason for all of this. And, I know I probably don't get to know what that reason is. I just get to trust and move forward. I feel called to pursue Russian adoption. So I'll keep pouring out the time and money until God says, "When".

When my good friend, Kerry, was considering how much time had been invested so far, she told me that my daughter was going to be AMAZING to have kept me waiting so long. I can't wait to see that amazingness for myself!