There was a little boy from Sasha's group who came up to us while we waited for another groupmate to collect her (Your mama's here!). Like all the children, he was only wearing shorts on that hot day. He had dark blonde hair, freckles and crinkled up eyes. He turned his face up to us and asked, "Why does no one come to play with me?"
Olga, that warm, wonderful woman, replied, "Maybe someone will!" With a hopeful, surprised intake of breath (I hadn't thought of that! Maybe someone will!) he went off to play. And Olga and I were left standing with bruised hearts. We led Sasha away hoping that she hadn't offered false hopes.
Olga's already planning on me coming back to adopt a brother for Sasha.
I don't know if I have another adoption in me. If I do, it's far in the future.
So what can I do?
There's a saying that adopting a child doesn't change the world. But it does change the world for that child.
Somehow, that doesn't feel like enough.
So, what am I doing now?
I'm making inquiries on behalf of a friend about one of my "littles" that I visit. To think that this little one whom I've visited could be finding a family...that's amazing.
I'm making inquiries to see how I can get two of my sisters from 3.10 involved in a hosting program next summer. To not be able to see them because they were in a family that isn't mine would break my heart and fill me with joy.
I know I can't do these things. I am no match for the bureaucracy that surrounds these children, for all that binds them.
So I ask for your prayers on their behalf.
Maybe, just maybe... Maybe the mountains will move.
And, please. I'm not a "good person". I am just a person who has been put in a unique position and is willing and eager to use that and to be used.
Hoping hurts my heart. But hopelessness has to be worse. So let's hope!
Olga, that warm, wonderful woman, replied, "Maybe someone will!" With a hopeful, surprised intake of breath (I hadn't thought of that! Maybe someone will!) he went off to play. And Olga and I were left standing with bruised hearts. We led Sasha away hoping that she hadn't offered false hopes.
Olga's already planning on me coming back to adopt a brother for Sasha.
I don't know if I have another adoption in me. If I do, it's far in the future.
So what can I do?
There's a saying that adopting a child doesn't change the world. But it does change the world for that child.
Somehow, that doesn't feel like enough.
So, what am I doing now?
I'm making inquiries on behalf of a friend about one of my "littles" that I visit. To think that this little one whom I've visited could be finding a family...that's amazing.
I'm making inquiries to see how I can get two of my sisters from 3.10 involved in a hosting program next summer. To not be able to see them because they were in a family that isn't mine would break my heart and fill me with joy.
I know I can't do these things. I am no match for the bureaucracy that surrounds these children, for all that binds them.
So I ask for your prayers on their behalf.
Maybe, just maybe... Maybe the mountains will move.
And, please. I'm not a "good person". I am just a person who has been put in a unique position and is willing and eager to use that and to be used.
Hoping hurts my heart. But hopelessness has to be worse. So let's hope!
10 comments:
Oh, there you go...tugging at the heart-strings again. =)
I agree, woman. Hope can be the single most painful, yet single most joyful emotional experience we have access to.
I will definitley pray!
cm
If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes. - St. Clement of Alexandria
I know that exact feeling you are talking about. We met a little girl, as adorable and sweet as can be, while in Kharkov. She ran up to my husband, wrapped her arms around his leg, and looked up with the biggest, beautiful eyes and asked "are you my papa?"; how can you not feel anything for these kids! I pray that precious baby has found a home and so does your little boy.
during our long wait we were encouraged to send cards and notes to our son - I worried about "what if it doesn't happen, will it mess him up?" but the response was -> these children all need *hope* -- here's to hoping your efforts pay off...
Oh shut up, Kate, you ARE a good person. (Even if you don't have an iPhone.)
No, you're not a good person at all. :)
I know precisely what you mean, though. I wince when someone says that - I'm doing precisely what I WANT to do - what gives most joy. THAT can't possibly be "good" in the way they mean. But, I remember some quote where Mother Teresa said something similar....how she simply followed her heart's leading.
I feel I have a FEW adoptions left in me! (And I KNOW Rachael secretly Always Wanted Five or Six.)
I am laughing (well, maybe smiling?) at Annie's comments.
I know exactly what you mean - there was a boy at Vika's orphanage who really tugged at my heart strings (he looked like a mini version of "The Artful Dodger" from "Oliver!"). I hope that he, and many of the other precious children there have found families to love and take care of them.
I understand completely about the place in your heart those children hold. I hold in my own heart forever, the faces, names and smiles of all the children we encountered along the way - knowing full well there is little hope they will ever find forever families.
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