for the adoption junkies...

Couldn't leave you hanging indefinitely without some sort of update...

I decided that I'd prefer my SW2 (J) to do my homevisit. Some of this was just an unsettled feeling about SW2.5 (N) and some was because I was wary of having three social workers on my very fat, very atypical homestudy. I sent this e-mail to both of them last Tuesday:

Dear N and J,

First, let me apologize. I am sorry that I did not think through things faster. This is very unlike me. However, I'm sure you can appreciate the attrition that occurs in Russian adoption. You've done more Russian adoptions than I have! So, when the opportunity to have a month shaved
off my time in-process, I leapt.

Perhaps N's delay was really a good thing. It caused me to consider the impact of having three social workers involved in my homestudies. I trust you both when you say that CIS wouldn't take issue. And, it's likely that Russia wouldn't either. But, there is the possibility that they would.I am my agency's first ex-pat adoption. And, as far as we've been able to gather, I'm the first ex-pat adoption by a resident of St. Petersburg from St. Petersburg. This has made my agency very cautious. They've had me appear before the committee of the ministry of education twice
already--and my papers, as you know, are still not filed. This has given me both the advantage and the disadvantage of being known by the committee. As I'm sure you'll appreciate, being atypical in Russia is not usually a good thing. And, my case is far from "normal" in the eyes of the committee.

All this to say, I think it would be best to wait for J to do my homevisit. I've spoken with my
agency and they concur. I am sorry for any inconvenience this has caused. I appreciate the time and energy N contributed. J, after you've recovered from your holiday, I look forward to seeing you as soon as your schedule permits.

Many thanks to you both,
K

I thought this was a kind, respectful e-mail. I've not had a reply. I also e-mailed SW2 (J) about getting her visa--I'm thinking a year visa may be better since we'll hopefully have some ppr's to do in the next year as well as this homevisit. She is still on holiday. N says that they talk on the phone, so I'd think that this change in plans has been discussed between them. I've also gathered that they're very close friends. I am hoping that this doesn't impact my homestudy. J seems too sensible to let that happen, but...

I'm hoping to hear something when she returns from holiday at the end of the month. I've decided not to e-mail either of them again until then. (Unless they e-mail me, nach. I just won't instigate further contact.)

Comments? BTDT? Do you think I'm handling this correctly or should I send an e-mail to make sure they received that one? (Yahoo says it's been sent...) Was the letter too harsh? Really, I still think N is disappointed to be losing a paid trip to St. P and a paying gig. I just don't want that disappointment to come back and bite me...anywhere.