11 April 2007

written excuse

Please excuse Kate from her recent blogger absence. She has had a full, buzzy head and was unable to post. We expect her to be recovered and participating in her usual activities soon.

My head has been full. In the absence of accreditation, I've been looking at agencies again. Here's what I've got so far:

1. Stay with my agency.
Pro: no money lost, it's the devil I know, great in-region team
Con: little faith in the facilitators, not allowed contact with in-region team

2. Switch to agency 2.
Pro: can be registered now in Leningrad Region--d2b home soon, v. little travel
Con: not sure how this is possible or if it's entirely legal, will cost 26K more than what I've already spent (I don't have that much in the bank)

3. Switch to agency 3.
Pro: program to underwrite the costs of adoption of children over age seven and reduction in the cost to adopt younger sibling, they have ex-pat experience and assign an advocate to every single pap, they submitted papers the same time as agency 1 and have ngo status
Con: they say to expect a referral in 6-12 months--could keep me in exile longer

I haven't come to any decision...and probably won't very soon. Looking at it written down, agency 2 has little to reccomend it other than time. They felt dodgy when I first looked at them and the uneasiness continues. My friend here reminds me to trust my instinct.

While there is nothing happening accreditation-wise, I feel a strong sense of urgency. But, I can't let that blind me to the other important factors.

I'll post about Easter tomorrow.

Hmmm...

10 comments:

Brandie said...

Hang in there. We're here to lean on and going through it too. It's hard, but in time things will work out.. or at least that's what I tell myself.

Rachael said...

Sounds really stressful. I think what you need is a girls night out to give you some clarity. How about tomorrow?
See you soon.

Laura said...

Hi Kate!
Gosh! Wow, what a tough decision :-( I wish there was a an easy answer for you.
hugs,
Laura

M- said...

Kate,
I agree with your friend, trust your instincts. I had signed on with one agency, lost my referral (SN adoption), got an immediate second referral (w/in a day or two), lost that one. Got a third referral, that I wasn't comfortable with (so uncomfortable in fact, I had palpitations for the three days I considered him) and turned him down. Then I started looking at other agencies. One that I emailed, emailed me back immediately...with pictures of babies, and a sales pitch to beat all sales pitches. It made me so uncomfortable, it was like buying a couch at a cheap furniture store...horrible (this agency has come highly recommended by many folks). Now I'm with my new agency...I love them. They are the right fit for me, and I am 100% comfortable with them. Trust your gut! M-

Lisa said...

Kate, I fully realize how difficult is the decision to change agencies. BTDT. Although it cost me a lot of money, I'm still glad I did it at this point. But it seriously gave me some heartburn at the time. Don't switch to an agency that you're not 100% comfortable with. I think if I hadn't made the switch prior to accreditation lapse, I'd just stick it out and wait to see what happens with reaccreditations. Switching now isn't likely to gain you much time. Wish there was an easy answer. I pray accreditations start coming soon. Hugs, Lisa

Melissa said...

Oy vey. I have no good advice for you. I hope you make the right decision

Lauri said...

What does your gut tell you??? Follow those amazing instincts you have. Sit down... clear your head and listen to your instincts.. they will always lead you home. Focus on your goal of having your daughter in your arms and move ahead.

I wish this was an easier time for you

Hugs


Lauri

mommyto5 said...

What a tough decision. I think it is so important that you have a good relationship with your agency and can trust them, talk easily to them and have faith they are being honest with you and have your best interest at heart.You are paying them and they owe that to you. This process is stressful enough without the stress of a difficult agency.(((hugs)))

Holly said...

Such a tough decision! I have a question...if you stay with current agency...what is your expected length of time left in exile compared to if you change to choice #3?

I don't envy you in your decision...if you want to chat, email me :-)

Maura said...

I know how hard this must be. We were caught in the re-accreditation mess 2 years ago, and thought we'd never get our child. But we stuck with it, and ended up with our Danny. 17 months (vs. the 6-9 we were told at the beginning), but worth it in the end.

I think what Lisa said is wise - switching during this wait for re-accreditation might not gain you any time. And you WILL be working with the in-country team when things get going again. (and for what it's worth, it's nuts that you aren't allowed contact with them - I think that would give you some measure of comfort during this wait.)

Good luck with your decision - trust your gut - that usually leads one in the right direction.

- Maura :-)