are there turkeys in russia?

Lauren called me and asked for this post. I am always happy to oblige a request for a post.

Readers who remember last year's Thanksgiving adventure can answer this question. Yes, there are turkeys available to buy...but they're expensive, scarce and not native. (A visiting Russian friend and I were telling another friend that animals in Russia make different sounds. Roosters say koo-koo-ree-koo and dogs say koff-koff. She asked what turkeys say. Deadpanned, the Russian friend answered. "Nothing. Turkeys are not popular in Russia.")

This year, I didn't order a turkey. While I was shopping at Okey, I went to the deli and located fresh turkey breast. I asked if they had any whole turkeys (I know the word this year), whole birds. They replied that they did but they were very big. I asked how big. They said very big. I asked to see one. They brought out a turkey. I said I'd take it. Surprised, the butcher went back to wrap it up.

While we were waiting, the deli workers asked why I wanted turkey. I said (in English) "Thanksgiving?" hoping they'd have heard of it. They hadn't. I said (in Russian) On Thursday is American Day for thank God and turkey. (Hey--I was impressed with that explanation. My Russian is obviously improved from this time last year, but I have no idea what the word for Pilgrim is in Russian...)

My wrapped turkey was HUGE. The worker wanted to come to the cashier to ring it up, but I told him I had shopping to do. (Aside: a friend tried to tell another worker the same thing in English and failed miserably when she picked up turkeys. She had to go and check out immediately. I, however, was allowed to shop on. Score!)

My 14.8kg (32lbs!) turkey barely fit in my 'fridge. But, I managed. All was well until Wednesday night. I arrived home ready to cook my turkey in preparation for the next night's festivities. I needed to cook either it or the pies in order to be ready to eat Thanksgiving dinner after school. Surprise! No electricity. I rummaged around for some candles and eventually cut off half of the turkey (so it would fit in the oven) and prepared it for roasting. I thought I might put it in early the next morning.

Early the next morning I decided that was a ridiculous plan. Instead, I'd wait until I got home. Surely there would be time to cook half a turkey. Admittedly, it was a very large turkey. But, eating fashionably late is fashionable. The turkey could wait until after school. And the pies...well, they didn't really need to cool.

After school I took the turkey out to roast it. I gave it a sniff...and discovered it was rancid. I had to throw out all that turkey. Fortunately, I had a frozen turkey breast in the freezer. I took it out, defrosted it, and roasted it. My guests (S, her dad, her translator and my friend N who used to teach here and now teaches in India) were infinitely patient.

At last the turkey was finished! The potatoes, carrots, green beans and the not-cran-but-close-berries were all waiting. I took the turkey out...and dropped it on the floor! I was mortified. I'm really tired (report cards, remember?) and my co-ordination is a little compromised. I could see it happening and thought, "That's going to fall out." as I watched it fall in slow motion. Not good. Really, so not good. My guests in the living room pretended not to notice as the juices splashed 15 feet across the room and into the hall. My friend N hissed, "Just rinse it off!" as she grabbed a towel and started mopping up. I picked it up, dusted it off, fervently hoped the cleaner had been thorough with the floors that day, and plopped it on a plate.

Everyone was very, very gracious. As my friend Lara says about my simple food, "Kate, it's the only common thing about you but you really do have a peasant's palate." I take no offense! I really do like simple, hearty food best. And, that's what we had. Fortunately, everyone seemed happy to just spend the evening together. I was disappointed not to have pie for everyone, but there just wasn't time or room in the oven. We'll have pie at the school friend's celebration tomorrow. (One is just finishing as I type. My flat smells yummy! Forget putting bread in the over when you're selling your house. Put in a pie--or even just a pie crust.)

During the evening we heard from B that her court was l-o-n-g but ultimately successful! She'll be back in two weeks, since her ten days weren't waived, to bring her children home.

So, Lauren--yes. There are turkeys in Russia. But getting them on the table is more involved than one might think!