03 March 2009

anybody else?

For a long time now I've hurried home from school and waited for it to be 11 a.m. Eastern time. I check blogs and forums and e-mails (in that elusive and ridiculous quest to know what's going on) and have a little dinner. Then, I check my e-mail. If there's no news then I'm in a hurry for the evening to end, for it to be late enough for me to go to bed. Because as soon as that day, that newsless day, is over another one can begin. That new day is one day closer to d2b. That new day still has the possibility of being a newsful day. And I want to get to that day as soon as I possibly can.

This strange anticipation of 7 p.m. followed by a rush to get the day over and myself to bed is decidedly not typical of me. But, it has become typical of this adoption journey of mine. I just wanted to remember it.

Anybody else have a new cycle to their days during the wait?

14 comments:

Jim said...

Kate, it sounds completely normal to me. Before we started our adoption, I always looked forward to weekends due to the anticipated time off from work. While we were in the process, weekends became an excruciating wait for "business hours" to return on Monday. I experienced a thrill of excitement at 9am and grew disappointed as the clock passed 5pm on weekdays.

It's interesting how things in life become distorted while in process. But once you are home with your child, everything returns to a new normal where weekends become cherished again.

Liz said...

I get anxious on Mondays, when my agency sends out a weekly update. I don't know why I get all riled up about it - I'm certainly not going to get my referral via a group email - but I have a hard time leaving work on Mondays until I've seen the weekly update pop up in my email inbox! I think it's as you say, a hunger for any news at all even if it doesn't really have anything to do with my own specific adoption.

Jojo, Julz, Jules said...

There were many times I would sit in front of my computer and literally hit refresh over and over to see if emails had come in...Sadly, adoption turns the most mellow laid back gals and guys into raving maniacs!
When I got my news I was so busy at work that i didn't check email. My agency called my work. I thought it was a parent so I said I was in class. Over the intercom the secretary said "I think you should take this...."
It was a call to tell me to check my mail...Anna's referral had come in.
So goahead and be an internet maniac. Funny, I check your blog like that! I can't wait to hear your good news!
Oh and I guess I can't come over and sub for you during your FMLA???

Kristen said...

Just after I finished reading your post, and was contemplating a reply, Katya piped in and interrupted my thoughts with this plea, "WHY does it have to be SO much longer til spring break! I can't stop thinking about Florida. I think about it every day!!! (We leave a week from Friday.) So, she's not near as patient as you, but she empathizes.

As for myself: the hardest part of our adoption wait was the 4 mo. (sounds pitiful to say, compared to what you've enduring) waiting for a court date, between 1st and 2nd trip. There was a narrow window of daily hopefulness: our agency was in Arizona, two hours behind us, and our coordinator in Russia, 8 hours ahead, of course. So window of hopefulness was 11 a.m. - about 3-3:30 p.m. EST, M-F. I always checked my email a million times during those four hours, just in case.

Annie said...

I don't remember that...but I might have heard from our agency at any moment. What I DO remember that first time was the number of times I said, "If I'm here then..." Our program year ends the second week in May....so from September until May, every event, was considered in light of "would I be here." Everything ended for the year; we got our call the day following final classes. Adoption day was May 23. That cured me. For the other three....it was clear to me that it would happen in God's time, and there was no sense my thinking about it.

BUT - the way it worked for us I knew the children each time. Never had to wait for a referral... THAT might indeed have made me a tiny bit crazy.

I've been checking your blog like crazy, too! Having missed the last big news, I REFUSE to miss this..so, please don't get too excited to write....

Rachael said...

P.S. Kristen is really Rachael. I didn't realize my daughter was signed into Google when I commented (at first I thought Blogger ate my comment!) Case you were wondering...

votemom said...

yes. it actually became maddening to me. checking my email dozens and dozens and dozens of times each day.

thinking of you SO MUCH....

God blessed the broken road that led you straight to her!

sandy said...

Kate, I just read the good news!!! I will be hopefully waiting with you to hear the news about a referral soon. Congratulations on progress!

Anonymous said...

I had a similar pattern, esp when waiting for another EE country (that failed). They did all their approvals on Thurs if I remember correctly. So it was Thurs to Thurs for a loooong time. :-)

Tina in CT said...

Why is 7 p.m. "the" time?

I check your blog throughout the day hoping to see good news too. We all are waiting for you too.

Debbie said...

That sounds exactly like my behavior for many, many months! :)

Melissa said...

Yep, I'm with most everyone else. "Way back when," there was a window of hopefulness every day and after it passed, I was ready to begin a new day. Weekends were torturous, to say the least. In fact, I believe I may've posted about this very subject once upon a time (I just found it on 2/26/07). So yep, you're with a throng of people who are or have been in the same boat!

Lisa said...

Yep, I remember. Fridays were THE WORST because I knew I wouldn't hear anything for two whole days, minimum.

Tami said...

For me it was the weekends. I HATED weekends...sad, but true. I couldn't get anything done...no one was sending emails, leaving messages or checking with officials. It was a waste of time to me...all I wanted was for Monday to come so we could hopefully hear some news.
Now I live for those weekends.