let's celebrate

Happy Easter!

I find it very odd to be celebrating holidays when the world around me isn't. This is true for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter as well as smaller, silly days like Groundhog's Day and St. Patricks's Day. There is a communal spirit that, for me, is lacking. The air is not full.

It might seem like this is an ideal opportunity to cast aside the commercialism of these holidays and focus on their true meaning. There are no Cadbury bunny ads, no one is buying Easter hats and dresses and there is no competition for the biggest basket. But, there is a shared spirit of anticipation that is also missing. It's a little lonely.

It makes me wonder what I'll do when d2b is home. Delaying and celebrating Easter and Christmas on an orthodox calendar (which I could do for Easter since it changes every year anyway but don't think I could give up December 25 as my Christmas) doesn't really solve the problem. Those holidays just aren't CELEBRATED here. They're observed by some, but the spirit of celebration, for me, is lacking. These are important holidays to me and need to be celebrated--joyfully, wholeheartedly and expansively.

TCK's (third culture children) often have difficulties with holidays. They've been told about them, and they've celebrated facsimiles of them with their immediate families and their ex-pat community, but they haven't experienced the "real" holiday that they're parents are trying to recreate. Having marshmellows for the sweet potatoes becomes an end unto itself and not a fond reminder of past holidays spent with family. I don't like either sweet potatoes or marshmellows, but when I'm planning Thanksgiving here in Russia, I know that is something important to include for my ex-pat friends. Even if none of us eats them, passing the dish untouched is part of our holiday experience. We know that Grandma loves them and that they belong on the table.

I think it's a little like the forced nostalgia those of us in the baby bust generation experienced growing up watching television shows like Happy Days and The Wonder Years. We were presented with a sentimental view of a time we'd never experienced.

But my little one(s) have extra obstacles. How do I find ways to celebrate holidays that they know nothing about? . How do I create traditions (because traditions and rituals are important anchors) that are celebrations and not recreations? It's something I think about. I suppose, to a certain degree, it will be like teaching my class about the way people celebrate around the world. It will be fun and interesting the first few times. The emotional attachments and the traditions will just have to grow over the years.

Flying back to the US to celebrate each holiday is not the answer for me. Firstly, because in the first year or two we're sticking close to home. I think disrupting life to be thrust, jetlagged, into a new culture with new people is not the way to build a family or build traditions. I think it would just be stressful for all of us. And, secondly, I am so ready to NOT be travelling on holidays. As a singleton, I'm the one who is expected to make the rounds. And, sometimes it's nice. But sometimes I just want to stay home and make my own holidays.

Whatever answer I come up with, and I'm sure it will evolve and change, I am very much looking forward to being the holiday-maker for me and d2b. I can't wait for us to celebrate together.