28 April 2009

name game revisited

Thanks for the first-hand name experiences! I wanted to post this where it would be seen in case those commenters aren't following the comments.

My plan, right now, is to keep d2b's Russian name either as her first name or her middle name. I don't want to erase the part of her life that she lived before me. Her Russian name will be there--I'm just not sure how. I won't be sure until I meet her and hear her name. I have three English names that I just love. One of those will be added somehow. That's my gift, the part that welcomes her to my family. It lets me claim her as mine. If d2b is plural, then I get to use two of those cherished names.

For me, this seems like the best way to keep HER name and to help her feel loved and accepted. It gives her options for the day when she's old enough to choose. Being a name-changer myself, I understand the need to feel comfortable in your name.

And I said I wasn't going to write another post on names. The more fool me.

10 comments:

Maura said...

Keep your faith, Kate. I think this time it's more like a watched kettle.

We went with the same naming theory you did. As it happens, we just Americanized Daniil for his first name, and put our favorite American name as his middle. Can't wait to learn what d2b(s) will be!

This name site is fun for you and all the other name gamers out there...
http://www.babynamewizard.com/voyager#prefix=&ms=false&sw=f&exact=false

The Holmes Crew said...

I too can't wait to hear the good news that leads to the name thing...

When we began the first adoption we were told many times when mothers relinquish their rights to a child immediately after they are born, it is actually the baby hospital staff that names them. I thought THAT was interesting. Anyway, we renamed Skiped so he could be a Junior, and given he was only 20 months old, it seemed logical. Harry's adoption began right before the region came to a virtual halt, and at that time, we we thought his adoption would be quick - very quick - and that we'd have him home before a year old. That being so, and because his birthmother left the maternity hospital right after his birth - we kinda figured he likely had a name that some nurse gave him so chose to name him after my father-in-law, making him Harry, III. Little did we know it would take four years for him to come home. As the years passed I feared he'd resent the new name. We toyed with calling him his Russian Name just as a nickname...

Two days after the adoption, he declared HIMSELF Harry by no longer responding to his Russian name. So I worried for nothing... I guess I'm saying whatever choice you make, I'm sure it'll work for all of you...As long as they are loved and are raised to be proud of their heritage, they'll be good...

Debbie B said...

That's what we always planned on doing and actually did with Isabel since M had named her already. Added our middle name to her given name.

Looking forward to hearing the minute by minute details of your referral day and hearing d2b's name.

Lindsay said...

Hannah has 3 names! One from me, one from her mom (birth mother, whatever :)) and one from the orphanage, which was Catholic Church, and had her baptised with a name meaning a lot to them.

Like you say, it's part of our kids heritage and I feel H. has lost enough without me making the decision to erase her names too. Each was given to her by people who she meant a great deal to. I feel it is honoring them, her past and who she is now, by keeping them.

Plus it means we get to celebrate her Name Day too, which is a tie to the first culture.

Looking forward to the day we hear the names :)

Katie said...

Recently Fin and I discussed what her name was, the first name I gave her, and how she came to be Finley. We like to do this from time to time so we can laugh at how NOT her the other names were.

The first was Anna, or Annie.

The name for three mos was Mary Margaret.

YOU know Finley. Can you see either one for her? She is SO a Finley. Don't get too "tied in" to a name. You may not know it until you meet her.

Andrea said...

That's always the one caveat I give myself every time I revisit my list of favourite names-- "you never know, Andrea, they could ALL come to you named, and THEN what will you do?"

I figure I would just deal with each individual situation as I came to it, but like you, I have a certain few best-loved names that I do want to incorporate somehow. Those names are too special to me, too very much what I want to give my children, for me to not want to make them somehow a part of the children I bring home.

Lisa said...

OK, now I'm curious... if you posted about changing your name I missed that one. Do tell?

As for d2b, you know I kept my girls' Russian names as their middle names too. They are named after my beloved grandmothers for their new first names.

Annie said...

We have so many nicknames that it hardly matters what my children's names are. We were in a store one time and I called out, Anna! Lydia quickly responded. Just so happened that a church friend was also there and Lyd and I caught the puzzled expression on her face. Lydia said, "I answer to anything!" which didn't exactly clear up the mystery! Which in that particular case was....we read Pollyanna, and Lydia became Lydianna, then (who knows how?) Annalydia, then just Anna. And that was just ONE of the name threads I could follow!

Rachael said...

There are so many lovely Russian names. I hope you get a *good* one. I always said I wouldn't change my daughter's name no matter what (since we were going 6 and up) but...easy for me to say: I lucked out and got my favorite one with Ekaterina/Katya. We tried "Kate" for awhile since I've always loved that name, but gradually that's been dropped in favor of who SHE really is: Katya. Well, when she's not Katyush, or Toosha, or Toosh, or Katinka, or Tinka-Tinka, and so on. I POURED over the baby books for the perfect middle name though whereas with the other 3, that was less important to me.

You know...you do have one advantage here being single: YOU get the final say in the name game. It's all YOU girl. Can't wait to hear it.

Suzanne said...

We hugged their orphanage names with family names. (Kept the original names as middle names and put new names on each side.)