21 May 2008

lost it

I am voiceless. My class thought it was pretty funny until they realized that I couldn't read to them.

There are a couple of reasons why this may have happened, as my friends here have informed me.

It is most likely because I wore a skirt too early in the spring.

It could be (a friend's neurologist told her this) that one of my parents is right-handed and one is left-handed. This means I am extremely suseptible to psychosomatic illnesses.

Or, my friends didn't tell me this, but I suppose at a stretch, it could be that other people in school have had this same spring cold. It could be that I teach sixteen little petri dishes every day.

Germ theory. What a radical concept.

so saith kate at 6:57 AM Labels:

13 comments:

MoscowMom said...

I don't think I'll ever get used to the Russian superstitions regarding both health and childcare... You'll have a whole new world of advice open up to you once you get your daughter(s)! I've been scandalizing people at work by not wearing nylons for the past few weeks--and, egad--shoes with a small hole in the toes--since although it's May 21st, you really should still be dressing as if it could snow outside... They then, of course, attribute my being sick to my careless ways--and point out that perhaps I only *think* I'm allergic to the poplar pollen everywhere.

It's so hard sometimes to remain polite, nodding, etc... The worst is when it's my STUDENTS who admonish me for my behavior! Um, I could easily point out some errors in their fashion choices... "Don't really want to see the top of g-string in the back of your pants...", "You need to pull up those baggy pants and cover your boxers, young man...," "Body piercings? 'Nuff said...," "Cut out the Emo cult cr*p, wear some color other than black, stop moping around as if your life is sheer misery, buck up and appreciate just how fortunate you are compared to all the kids in your country who have no parents at all..." and "That neckline is so low that even a pretty single woman in her twenties would think twice before wearing it...!" Nah, I keep those thoughts to myself. Guess you don't encounter that with second graders!

In any case, feel better!!!

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
Maggie said...

Russian medicine... gotta love it.

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
votemom said...

so are the russian people you know healthier?

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
kate said...

vote--NO!! Not only are they *less* healthy, they moan more and take more time off. My assistant told me I should be in bed at least a week. Um, yeah, that might be nice but I don't really need it...and then I don't get paid. (That is still a concept that is difficult for those who grew up under communism.)

I had on capris and slides today and had recess duty. A fourth grader told me, "You're lucky my grandmother isn't here. When I even get wet, like in a fountain in the summer, she makes me sit with my feet in a bowl of hot water and wrap up in a blanket. And that's just if I'm wet!"

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
Rachael said...

Too funny.

I still remember nearly SUFFOCATING for the 5 minutes I was forced to sit in the VERY HOT sauna, so as not to catch cold after swimming at the aqua park with Katya in St. Petersburg under Lucy's (our translator's non-English speaking wife) watchful eye. It was pointless to resist.

Hope are in story reading shape soon.

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
Tina in CT said...

The Russians would shutter and die in my house during the winter as I keep the heat down. After speaking with my fuel oil company yesterday, the house will be even colder next winter. This winter I was capped at a ceiling price of $2.89/gal and as of today it is $4.74/gal. Many Americans will be turning down the thermostat and adding on snuggly clothes come late fall.

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
junglemama said...

Hope you find it! I'm sure one fo your petri dishes gave it to you!

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
Anonymous said...

love the right-handed/left-handed theory... who knew such a thing could affect your throat as a grown adult?

what would your health ailments be if they were both left-handed??

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
Deb said...

I love all those theories. Hope you get better fast.

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
Annie said...

Hm.... God must look kindly on me as I wore a skirt all winter to no ill effect. I even went WITHOUT a hat occasionally!

The Russian idea of resting is nice, though. There is certainly a Puritanical streak in our country....work until you die, people!!! Do not give into illness!!! Do not take a day off! I expect we have some of our own idiosyncrasies.

Wednesday, 21 May, 2008
Heidi said...

This was so funny! It brought me back to all those short stays in St Pete. On my first trip I was so afraid of being cold... only to sweat to death (lost 10 lbs) on that trip!
Future travelers beware! Wear short sleeved shirts under your layers so you can strip in those hotter than hot buildings!
But, if you like, you could check if your parents are right or left handed instead.
:)

Thursday, 22 May, 2008
Tami said...

We adopted Alek, Anya and Nick in the summer...thankfully there wasn't a whole lot of exposure to the whole 'put a hat and coat on that kid' thing...
But Maddie was a different story!
Good grief but we got all kinds of advice. My personal favorite was the woman who told me to get up off the cold concrete or I wouldn't be able to have any kids (via translator).
I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I laughed.
Out loud.
Too late lady! :)

Thursday, 22 May, 2008
kate said...

Tami, it's a known fact that sitting on the floor makes you sterile.

My friend was also told that she needed to be wearing a longer coat and not a jacket to protect her ovaries or the same thing would happen.

My favorite is when my Russian friends are asking me to tranlate for them, "What is the word for an evil wind? You know, a bad wind that makes you sick." I play dumb a little , "I don't think we have a word like that in English..." before supplying them with the word. Draft.

Thursday, 22 May, 2008

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