Pollyanna triumphs

You guys are the best! Thanks for attending my little pity party.

Being the analytical person I am, I decided (it would be great if that Martha Washington quote was the one at the top right now) that the reason I was so upset (jr, I did shed some tears--and felt very childish and self-indulgent and confused about it--though I didn't have room to flop on the floor and kick my feet.) was because I had expectations that were not met. (Annie, I have no say in my flat. The school/consulate provide it and I gratefully accept.)

I expected to be bringing d2b HOME to this flat. And, while home is mostly about people, there were some things in the background of that picture--my bed, my desk, my books... I expected this flat to match my picture; to be HOME for the first year or even years of our life together. The only way I could change how I was feeling, because the bed and the desk and new bookshelves were not going to fit, was to change my expectations. Now, I see my new flat as a very nice, temporary place to live.

Perhaps most helpful was that before they leapt in to help, a friend here looked around and understood the difficulties without me saying anything. Feeling really, truly understood always makes me feel better. I've done some un-decorating. I've rearranged furniture. My friends have helped me move HEAVY furniture down a TINY hallway to make room for a bed in d2b's room. And, said friends have helped to dismantle some of the stupid elements in the kitchen. It's better. Much better.

My landlord probably won't think so. And, the landlords aren't very nice. They're rather condescending. AND, one landlord (one lives in England and one lives across the street) said they weren't even expecting me to move in, they were expecting a lady from Canada. (That would be my principal.) That might have made me maddest of all! Would they have refused to have me there because I'm an AMERICAN? Not cool. Don't get my patriotism boiling.

The parking space...well...apparently there was a meeting and "they" (if I ever chance to meet "them" one day, "they" will have a lot to explain) decided that renters would no longer be given a parking space.

So. My expectations and my attitude are changing. Pollyanna triumphs.

(Filing a new I600A tomorrow. And paying for it. But, don't have to have a new homestudy. That's something to bring about gladness!)

ps Still no internet at home so don't panic if an eon passes before a new post.