family in need

Have you read this post about a family in need of a new family for their son? If you've held harsh opinions on disruption, this may be the post that changes your heart.



I haven't read this blog before, but I will be following their story. She asked that everyone who could link to this post and put this picture on their blog, would. And I'm happy to do that.

(Thanks, Bex, for the heads up.)

a pretending

When I was acting professionally and had to go to an audition or a job, I'd tell my little friend Faith (who always wanted me to come and hang out) that it was a pretending day for me. (I have to say, pretending is a great job.) She even came and saw some of my pretendings.

We were making breakfast the other morning and I asked Lexi if she was a cook. "No," she replied indignantly. "I'm a babushka. You're a cook." So we tied a (clean) dishtowel around her head, tossed another one over my shoulder, and away pretending we went.

Babushka was grumbling all the time that we made French toast that it ought to be kasha. But, Lexi happily ate it once it was through. She called me "povar" the entire time the dishtowel was on my shoulder.

A couple times since then babushka has showed up to sweep the floor and wash dishes. She's handy to have around! (Of course, she always wears a dishtowel.) Although she's a little stern, babushka (not capitalized) is one of the nicer people Lexi pretends to be. (Nana, you can take comfort in that!)

"feline" better

Thanks for your concern for our feline friends.

Beazy is, indeed alive and mostly well. She was still pretty sick when we got home. She has some new food and she seems much better.

Actually, as both Lexi and Mia are a little skittish (Mia's never been around children), Lexi and Beazy have a better understanding. I've told her that Beazy is Mama's cat, so Lexi's less likely to act proprietarily with her than she does with "my cat!" aka Mia. And, Beazy will stand her ground. Beazy is a wonderful cat--liking to be with me, inquisitive, and a fan of Sesame Street. She also tends to move slowly and sleep a lot. ;>So, she and Lexi are getting along pretty well.

(I knew Lexi was a big "BertErnie" fan, but didn't know Beazy was as well. Who can resist "Doing the Pigeon"? Not these two!)

(After covertly watching this activity from the couch for days, Mia joined in the last round of trainspotting, too. I just didn't photograph it.)

Lexi tries to play with Mia by throwing things (cat toys, books, shoes) at her rather than for her. We're working on it. She also won't let Mia hunt the thrown object, but retrieves it herself. This has made Mia a little wary. And, when she rubs up against Lexi wanting to be pet, it startles Lexi.

I'm sure the two of them will work it out soon.

yawn

I have spent 9 hours of the last 24 (and 11.5 of the last 30) hours
rocking and singing.

I. am. tired.

ketchup

(I was going to call this "mustard" because I know I've explained "ketchup" in the second-grade-sense earlier...but didn't want to confuse new readers. Those of you in the know, please change the title in your heads.)

Okay, sports fans. We didn't have internet access while we were in the US. Here are loads of pix...fewer than usual words.

We left Moscow successfully. I didn't even have to show an adoption decree. I think it's because I was saying to Lexi (who was looking at herself in the mirror behind us) "What a beautiful girl!" and the girl at the desk, thought I was talking about HER. She gave Lexi a little smile and wave and handed me our passports.


These may look like darling pictures of my darling daughter...but really what they are is what she looks like just before the crazies set in. She did a great job on the flight...but it was nine hours long. She could handle about six (and I was amazed at how well she did that).


We arrived at JFK (the guy at the counter was nice. The people in the little room WERE NOT. They barked at us, were uninformed, and generally tried to make everyone's time there as unpleasant as possible. Really. And they enjoyed it. Another adopting family and I waited an hour while our papers sat untouched.

But, we made it! Think we look a little tired? Yeah.

We didn't even try to get on US time. So, we went to sleep between 3:30-6:00 p.m. every day and were up between 2-3 a.m. What can you do in a hotel room in the wee hours to entertain yourself if you're six?

You can copy the artwork on the wall (This is by far the best drawing she's ever done.)...

or spell your name with cookies and a little help.

When the sun comes up you can run the hill in the parking lot (with great attachment narration by Mama)...


or you can play with clay...

...or try to convince Mama you're not tired and in need of a nap at 7 a.m.

We spent a day getting her US passport--driving in to Manhattan for our appointment. There were a few moments of held breath when they wanted a COC (note: The stamp in your adopted child's passport next to their visa is proof of citizenship and all that is needed to get a US passport.) and a notarized translation of the birth certificate and adoption certificate (the embassy said they'd given us all we needed--they'd also given us an old passport application copied front and back which wasn't valid). They found a Russian speaker and verified that the translation was correct and we were good to go. That was good because the crazies were setting in. But, even the crazies have their purpose. It encouraged the agent to Fed Ex the passport to us instead of having us come to the city again.

The next day was very exciting.

because...

Lexi got new glasses!

And, two complete strangers complimented me on her adorable haircut. ;> I can't imagine anyone looking at this little pixie-face and thinking she was anything other than a girlie-girl.

After a long morning of trying to be good, the little people needed to run off some steam. We went to the Bronx Zoo--which is essentially a huge park that happens to have some animals in it. I was surprised at how few people we saw. It was like we owned the zoo! (I was very disappointed in the Moscow Zoo--and the St. P Zoo has such a poor reputation that I've never been there. So, I was looking forward to seeing this zoo.)

When we saw a new animal (this was a snake) Lexi would say, "Hi (animal)! I have new glasses! Look how beautiful!" Talk about a full-heart moment for Mama. Lexi was just giddy with delight!

She wouldn't even take them off to nap.


Her passport finally arrived!

The nice thing (very, very NICE thing, AM) about Ann Marie's zoo membership was not having any pressure to "do the zoo". We popped over again when we needed a little space to run. As you can see, we spent more time climbing fences, throwing rocks and looking through sewer grates than looking at animals on this trip. And they loved it. By this day, we'd convinced Lexi that Alexander was "little" and she was being more tolerant (umm...she was pretty mean earlier in the week) and playing big sister. She even asked him, very gently and sisterly, (because we both say often "Stay with Mama." whenever we go out) where his mama was when he wasn't holding her hand.

(Ann Marie will just tell me to shut up if I try to tell you how graciously she hosted us--and drove us ev-ry-where--so I won't. I won't tell you how incredibly grateful we are for all her help. 'Cause I don't want to be told to shut up.)

After a whirlwind trip, we headed back to Russia. This was a night flight, and it was great! She slept much of the way home. Thanks again, Espe, for your supreme generosity! We are looking forward to seeing you on our next trip to the US. Here Lexi's showing you her beautiful sweater and reading a story from her passport. Who knew they now came with fairy tales inside?

We made our airport change with time to spare. She was a trouper on both flights.

We came home to find this cheerful sign, lamps burning and overheads off (my lighting preference always) and the 'fridge stocked. Kat, you are a lifesaver! Thank you for your amazing, thoughtful welcome home.

Lexi's had a rough time with jet lag. She'd had a little tummy trouble in the US, but this was different. She was sick (please read that euphemism as it is intended) much of yesterday. Here, "my cat!" is doing her duty and is curled up nearby. The blue bowl is just out of camera. It only got more pitiful from here. I did a lot of laundry yesterday. A. lot.

Today she's bright and chipper and back to her sunny self. We went to Palace Square this morning, but it wasn't as satisfactory for running as the parking lot hill.

Here's an obligatory shot in front of the Hermitage. (Where else do you go on your first walk in St. Petersburg?)

And here's what Lexi looks like most of the time. She's saying "Oh, how beautiful!" This is how she describes everything from bouquets of flowers to road construction in Yonkers. Gotta love that outlook!

(No, she's not wearing her glasses here. The doctor said to never make her wear them. So, I ask but if she says no we don't bother. I think she slept on them funny on the airplane and they need to be adjusted. I guess that means I need to adjust them...)

we're ba-aaack

we're safely home in st. p!

real post--with pix--tomorrow if time allows. (i'm pretty sure it will.)

visa!

I was going to do a "one week" post, but am posting this important news instead:

We have Lexi's visa!

Yes, the paperwork here is nearly complete. (We still have to register...and no one is sure where to do that. Fingers crossed for St. P!) We are able to leave tomorrow. After all the hiccups--a spat between ministries meant that my registration in St. P (which is all I need plus travel permission for anywhere in Russia--I don't need to register everywhere.) wasn't being recognized. The local OVIR wanted me registered in Moscow. The school/embassy couldn't do that because they'd already registered me in St. P. Oi. Got a hotel room for two nights and took care of that.

Then, today, they had MY name wrong on THE envelope that immigration gets. Counter-man said it would be fine. Someone else said to just put the same wrong name on form #something, I asked for it to be changed. It finally was. Oi.

Also got congratulated on my little boy today. Humph. But, also got admiring comments. Scarily, she's finding the power of her smile.

Now to make that flight and deal with US paperwork...

Today (and tomorrow) under her stars and stripes...

She wore THE stars and stripes. At the embassy she took off her dress and was so proud she and Mama were both wearing, "Flag! Flag!" (No, she doesn't know the pledge yet. She's showing you her flag.)

sunny days and broken transmissions

Lest I be accused of blindly writing a blog that is all sunshine and rainbows, let me tell you here and now that it's not blind.

There are people reading this blog who will know Sasha in real life (irl). And, I'm just not sure how much I want to share with people who will meet her, see her, know her. Once I tell, I can't un-tell. And, there are things that I don't want lurking in the mind of the irl community.

That being said, things really are going well. Very well, all things considered, I'd say. And that's neither sunshine nor stardust. Today primarily consisted of play-dough and Sesame Street. It doesn't get much better than that.

("Oh, yes. Segues are for children," says my friend Suzanne when she's following my conversational leaps. Consider that your segue.)

It's like driving a car that in incapable of downshifting. You might try shifting up and up, waiting to downshift until there's a red light. But, at the red light, you find that there are no brakes, either. Your only choice is to crash.

If you don't want to crash, you just have to drive in first gear--paying careful, constant attention to the rpm's so that you can see when that needle's in the red so you don't burn out your engine (or whatever--it's an analogy). You can't shift up, because then you'd be stuck in a higher gear, so you need to slow back down. If it's getting dangerously close to needing to shift up, and you can't slow down, you need to remove the key from the ignition. You just need to turn it off. Not great for the car, but at least it's not crashed and requiring major body work.

Fortunately, I'd seen on earlier visits, we could call that a test drive, that there was no off switch on this model. I've been watching those rpm's carefully. On the days when we didn't have a choice, when we had to go and go and go we did indeed crash. Even a small, quiet dose of other people led to a "stuck in fourth gear" episode for hours. And that key wouldn't budge from the ignition!

So, it's first gear for us for the foreseeable future. It's okay (a phrase Sasha can say quite well, and use appropriately, thank you very much--it's in stiff competition with good girl for most-used English phrase at the moment). We're not in a hurry.

Tomorrow is the embassy appointment and the next morning we leave! On our way to where the air is sweet...

cute-in-Russia

When I visited my (famous) friend Dawn in Ukraine (wow--TEN) years ago, she warned me to be careful what I bought. Not everything that looked apealing in Kiev would be as appealing when I got it back to the US. (The one thing I wish I could have bought--though I'm sure it was too expensive--was a sort of fur poncho. It did look a little "B@rbie", but was amazing--shades of grey ranging from charcoal by the face to silver at the hem. I would SO wear it in Russia. Oh, well.)

I was shopping for shoes (note: I don't get that shoe-thrill so many of you do. I view shoes as utilitarian--and like them to be as unobtrusive as possible.) for Lexi. She was wearing a 26. I bought her a 27. But, her cut-out foot tracing (which I'm still carrying in my wallet) j-u-s-t fit those. So, I was looking for a 28 to take along, too.

I found a pair. They were charcoal with a little sparkle. The strap was cute without being cute. But they had big butterflies on them. Butterflies *might* be okay. But the butterflies looked a little mean. And the front, instead of being sensibly rounded, was sort of flame-shaped. It was the flames that caused me to doubt. Still, they were a good color. Without the flames they'd be great. Even with the flames they were certainly the best I'd seen in the size I needed in any store.

I asked a friend who was shopping with me if they were cute or cute-in-Russia. She assured me they were cute, and, though doubtful, I bought them.

After I'd got them home, I showed another friend who said, "Don't you dare let her set foot in those in America." As I feared. Cute-in-Russia shoes.

These are the shoes, size 27, Lexi wore home from the orphanage and has barely removed. Inoffensive on a six-year-old, though a little too much bling for my taste. I like stars. They're pink, but whatever. (OT note to Barb: The snow boots we bought should fit great!) I would love a pair of black Mary Janes. And red t-straps. But, those are not available in Russia. Maybe when we're in the US...


I sent the following text to friend #2 today, Lexi won't wear the might-be-cute-in-Russia shoes claiming again and again they're too big. As her others just barely fit, I consider this a sign of good taste. Think I'll leave them here.

See? It's the flames that doom these shoes.

the most beautiful word

might just be "nap".

This hard-won sleep occurred in a record-breaking 40 minutes. That's easily an hour less than our previous sleep record. We haven't been able to nap yet because of all of our paper chasing--and I think this will help our sleep issues some. Sleep begets sleep. We have some bigger sleep monsters that we're battling, but having a kip (consider that a shout out to my UK readers) certainly can't hurt. Either of us.

Yes, she has tights on under her leggings. No, I do not intend to make a habit of this. It got cold today and she doesn't have any jeans or other pants. (They're waiting for us to pick up in the US when we pick up her passport. Not sure which is more important for an American girl living in Russia...) At least they match the red buttons on her top and look smashing with her long, red sweater. And, yes, even though this fits when she's awake and standing up, I did just buy this outfit in a size bigger. It's with the jeans. And maybe a few other things...

another prayer call

eta: It's ready! We leave in half an hour to pick it up! That is worth waking my sleeping baby. Thank you all.

I won't say it 's the LAST one...but I hope it's the last one regarding paperwork and Russian officials.

It is all down to what kind of day a Russian official in the local passport office is having tomorrow.

If it's a good day, we'll get Sasha's Russian passport, turn in paperwork on Monday at the embassy, have our exit interview Tuesday, leave Wednesday (without crying to delta...whom I don't trust will be as accommodating as everyone else does on this no-changes ticket) and make our initial appointment to get her US passport on Thursday.

If she's not, we won't.

And we REALLY, REALLY would like that to happen.

I met her today and she wasn't a very happy person. She and Sergei don't have the best relationship. (That's putting it mildly.) She was rather unfriendly to me, but she did smile at Sasha. How could she not? She was in a favorite outfit of mine.

People familiar with the books pictured may be interested to know that Moo, Baa, La La La retains its title, but starts on the BOW WOW WOW page, Goodnight Moon is the Russian equivalent of Peaceful Night, Little Bunny...and can't be read before bed because it turns into a manic impression of the orphanage bedtime--but we like saying goodnight to the kasha, and I haven't read Sheep in a Jeep to her because when she reads it to me in Russian it's too precious. I want her on video reading, "Zheely Beele eta baraf..." (a little like "Once upon a time there were sheep."

(Answering questions:
Yes, she's incredibly overwhelmed and overstimulated. By ev-er-y-thing.
Yes, she's amazingly affectionate but only with me. She'll not even speak to strangers. She'll now speak to Olga and Sergei--barely.
No, the gotta-go-now isn't control at this point. It's a surprise to her each time.
"Mnoga" means many or much (sorry for not translating that.)
It's an outie.
her favorite song is "One, Two, Two Little Girls" from Sesame Street Old School (which has the warning that it may not be appropriate to meet the needs of today's preshooler. I decided to risk it.)
English words we've heard: cross (only repeated after she asked what it was), keeske pants (also repeated--poor child--while I was putting on pajamas) and good girl, no, and okay all used correctly.)

interrupting the retrospective...

...to send you a copy of the text I sent locals:

Forget Elvis. LEXI has left the building! Oooorah! She practically ran out the door and hasn't stopped smiling. I don't think I have either. Spread the word. All joy!

We had our "manic" times both yesterday and today, but overall she was a trouper. Those self-soothing and coping techniques that are so sad to see in little ones are heartbreaking (and frustrating) in a six-year-old. We've both got some work ahead of us.

It should come as no surprise that there are paperwork issues to be sorted. Sigh. I'm just a little worried they won't be sorted in time to leave on Wednesday. I have to call Delta and cry if that's the case.

As far as food going in and coming out (that seems to be what everyone wants to know about):

She's eating well. She even stops when she's full! She is DRINKING non-stop.

Which brings us to toileting. We know that Russians potty-train differently. One thing that surprised me was the fact that at six, if she has to go, she has to go NOW. There is no waiting five minutes. Or two. Which means that we were some of the people you shake you head at in wonder and a little contempt. Stuck in downtown traffic, my translator told us to GO IN THE MEDIAN! Apparently by the flowers is better. Little one was not best pleased when I made her remove her tights and shoes before we got out of the car.

Sleep is another issue. Remember that off switch she didn't have? It hasn't been installed yet. Enough said here and now. She slept fitfully and so did I, but we slept.

I've been typing WAY too long, so I'll leave you with some pictures.

I was a little sad not to have a "good" picture of the two of us leaving the orphanage. But, then I started laughing. All the pictures of Sasha have her intently focused on THE GATE!! She was ready to leave. A caretaker did stick her head out and wish her well (after Sash was brought to her to say goodbye). Sasha smiling called her goodbye over her shoulder without breaking stride down the steps. I felt better having seen one smile directed at her.


Even this was enough to over-stimulate. But, she loved feeling the wind in her fingers!


Being a trouper at the passport office. We walked out of the orphanage at 13:31 and didn't get home until 8:45 p.m. It was a looooong day.



Have you ever seen such joy on the face of a six-year-old at the grocery store? I'd hold something up and if it was "koosna" (tasty) into the cart it went. She loved her "mnoga!" food.

Note to Kat: Not only did she cry, "I want the store!" as we drove home, she is also fixated on the shoes worn by the women in Moscow. Consider this a call to active duty.

we're a family!

Picking her up today! Will post as I can. Photos scheduled for tomorrow...

Love and thanks,
Kate and Lexi

Radooga

If you think I look happy here, and I think I do, imagine how I'll be feeling tomorrow!

The gift waiting at the end of the rainbow for me is better than any pot of gold.
When this posts I'll be on the plane to Moscow!

Aside: A Russian friend, upon seeing my pictures from trip one--this one included--said, "But, Kate. Seriously. You are an actor. You are a professional. Your faces in these pictures, you were just putting them on, weren't you? You didn't really feel like this?

I assured her, or tried to, that I actually was happy about this.

A post on the comments and questions I've gotten is in the works...or should be.