the name game (very long)

In junior high, I started keeping a notebook full of names. They were names I liked, with middle names and their meanings. There were pages and pages full of names in there just waiting for the day when I would name a child. That red notebook is gone now. And, along with it, the names I'd chosen and wedding ideas (there were some great bridal keds in there...). But, I've kept it going mentally for years.

I know what I'd like to name both of my d2b. I've got the names all picked out. I'm just not going to tell you what the names are until I know if they'll be kept.

Because, since they will be older, my d2b will already have names they know. A name is part of your sense of self. I've got a couple of choices. I could keep the given name (or nickname) and add a middle name. I could keep the given name (or nickname) as a middle name and add a first name. I could give new first and middle names.

Some of what I do will depend on the child and her history, and some will depend on the Russian name itself. We all connect names with people we know. Remember that girl in college who was after your boyfriend? Would you really name your daughter her name? Having lived here, I've run into a few people whose names I wouldn't want d2b to share. There are a couple of people (with the same name) here who drive me crazy. (Actually, I suspect they may be a little crazy.) And, there are some names that may simply be difficult for an American child to have. I think I want d2b to have a name that lets her/them be invisible if she/they want to be and not always be stamped (notarized and apostilled) "adopted from Russia". I taught a triplet. While the rest of the class thought it was very cool, it was the *last* thing she wanted as an identifier. I think it's cool that d2b was born in Russia, but I want to be sensitive to the fact that she may not always want that fact broadcast.

Right now I'm thinking that an English name that has a Russian nickname would be a good choice. (ie: her given name is Larissa, she's called Lasha, I name her Laura but keep calling her Lasha--but that's not one of the two I really have in mind. ;> ) Or, any English name that ends with -a will help the transition between Russian and English. (That's the other name I have in mind.)

Naming adopted children is a hot-button issue amongst ap/pap's! Some people feel that a name is all their child brings from their life prior to adoption and it should be kept.

Some people find that the child was not named by his/her parents. If their child was named without a great deal of thought, perhaps by a hospital worker, they may want to give their child a name full of love and thought and significance. I've heard stories about children being named alphabetically or all being named after the person doing the naming.

Some people think that adoption is time for a fresh start with a fresh name--especially if there is a history of abuse or neglect. Caretakers often explain to children that along with a new Mama there is a new language and a new name. I think giving a child a family name falls into this camp.

Some people think that it is important to keep a cultural tie even if the name is changed (That's the only side of the argument I, personally, can't make. I think you either keep the name or you don't. Whether you choose a different Russian name or a different American name or any other name it will still be a different name to the child. I think choosing a different Russian name may be even more confusing to a child than choosing a name that is not Russian. After all, they may already know a Kolya and be looking for him whenever you call out that name. But, I only am responsible for naming my child/ren. I never okayed Apple for Gwyneth. You can name your child whatever and why-ever you like. ;> It's fine with me--and it wouldn't matter if it wasn't.)

Some people have other ideas about naming that they're going to leave in my comments because I haven't thought of or heard them yet.

My child/ren may be old enough to weigh in on this matter. If so, I will put great store in their preferences. For now, I'm hoping for either:

1. one of my favourite Russian names, or
2. a Russian name/nickname close to one of my favourite English names, or
3. one of my least favourite Russian names (really--no qualms then about changing it)

Any of those options will make the name game so much easier to play!

For those of you who want to play along at home, here are some common names for Russian girls with their meaning and nicknames. I didn't include the -eshka, -itchka, -ooshka, -oola, etc. "sweet names" that inevitably and endearingly follow. (As far as teachers at school go, we have three Marinas, two Mashas, three Irinas, two Tatyana/Tanyas, Nastia, Galina, Natasha, Nadya, Oksana, Elena, Olga, Inna and Aisha. Zhenya, Sveta, Ira, Ludmilla, Larissa and Valentina--among others--are friends outside of school. Just fyi...straw poll by Katya.)

ALEKSANDRA: Feminine form of Russian Aleksandr, meaning "defender of mankind." (SASHA, SHURA)

ALISA: Russian form of English Alice, meaning "noble sort." (ALYSA)

ALYONA: Variant of Russian Yelena, meaning "torch" or "moon" or more likely "to elope." (YELENA)

ANASTASIYA: Russian and Ukrainian form of Latin Anastasia, meaning "resurrection." (NASTIA)

ANYA: Russian form of Latin Anna, meaning "favor; grace."

DARYA: Russian form of Roman Daria, meaning "possesses a lot; wealthy." (DASHA)

EKATERINA: Russian form of Greek Katherine, meaning "pure." (KATYA, YEKATERINA)

ELIZAVETA: Variant of Russian Yelizaveta, meaning "God is my oath." (YELIZAVETA, LIZA, LIZAVETA)

EVGENIYA: Variant of Russian Yevgeniya, meaning "well born." (YEVGENIYA, ZHENYA)

GALINA: Russian feminine form of English Galen, meaning "calm, tranquil." (GALA)

INNA: Russian unisex name meaning "strong water." The name was originally a male name, but became somewhat popular as a religious girl's name due the misidentification of the sex of the Russian martyr Inna, a male student of the Apostle Andrei.

IRINA: Russian form of Greek Eirene, meaning "peace." variant is (ARINA, ARISHA, IRA)

IVANNA: Feminine form of Russian Ivann, meaning "God is gracious."

KIRA: Russian form of English Kyra, meaning "like the sun."

KLAVA: Pet form of Russian Klavdiya, meaning "lame." (*old-fashioned name, but I just had a friend who got a referral of a little girl with this name.)

KSENIYA: Russian form of Greek Xenia, meaning "hospitable." (AKSINYA)

LARISSA: Russian name derived from a city in Ancient Greece, probably meaning "fortified town." (LARA, LASHA)

LUDMILA: "People's favor." Czech and Russian name composed of the Slavic elements lud "people, tribe" and mil "favor, grace." (LUDA)

LYUBOV: Russian name derived from the Slavic word lub, meaning "love." (LYUBA)

MARINA: meaning "of the sea" (MASHA, MARISHA)

MARYANA: meaning "beloved." (MASHA, MARYA, MARIYA)

NADEZHDA: Russian name meaning "hope." (NADYA, NADA)

NATALIYA: Ukrainian and Russian form of Natalia, meaning "birthday," or in Church Latin "Christmas day." (NATASHA, TALYA, TASHA)

OKSANA: Russian and Ukrainian form of Greek Xenia, meaning "hospitable, esp. to foreigners/strangers."

OLGA: Feminine form of Russian Oleg, meaning "prosperous, successful." (OLYA)

SOFIYA: Russian and Ukrainian form of Greek Sophia, meaning "wisdom." (SOFYA, SONIA)

SVETLANA: Russian name derived from the Slavic element svet, meaning "light." (SVETA, LANA)

TAMARA: Russian form of Hebrew Tamar, meaning "palm tree."

TATYANA: Russian form of Latin Tatiana, which is probably related to Latin tata, meaning "father." (TANYA)

VARVARA: Russian form of Barbara, meaning "foreign; strange." (VARYA)

VERA: Russian name, meaning "faith; truth."

VIKTORIYA: Russian and Ukrainian form of Roman Victoria, meaning "to conquer; victory."

YULIA: Variant of Russian Yuliya, possibly meaning "youth." (YULIYA, YULIANA)

ZHANNA: Russian form of French Jeanne, meaning "God is gracious."

ZINAIDA: Russian form of Greek Zenais, possibly meaning "of Zeus." (ZINA, ZINOVIYA)

ZOYA: Russian form of Greek Zoe, meaning "life."