one prolonged grumble

It's still hot.

I just got an e-mail from my agency asking for all sorts of paperwork I've already sent them...including THE LEASE. I was feeling like we were making progress, that we were almost there, and now I feel like someone who is walking on romper-stompers for the first time. (Remember those? You had to concentrate so hard the first time you wore them to just pick up one foot and put it in front of the other one. It was a huge effort.)

My car is b-r-o-k-e-n and school starts the day after tomorrow. I didn't learn enough Russian this summer, I didn't do enough ballet and I didn't lose enough weight. Everyone's class size is dropping except for mine. They only delivered 12 of my desks. I twisted my knee, there's a blister on my little toe, and I have a heat rash. I'm sick of every kind of food we have in this city and every piece of clothing I own.

I don't want to deal with any people. No one. I'm unplugging the phone, turning off the computer, taking a cool, lavender bath and some St. John's Wort and going to bed with my new book. I may or may not get dressed tomorrow.

Haven't I done enough? Apparently not. So I'll keep "doing". Just not today.

I'm hot and weary and frustrated.

And, to make it all worse, in case I didn't make it clear, it's still HOT!

I promise to post happier things tomorrow.