mini bite

Have you noticed when you have a fever that your thoughts seem to come in isolated chunks? They don't connect to anything that came before. And, try as you might, forging a link to the next logical thought is nearly impossible. It's as if you're pushing with all your might against an immovable object. You just can't push through.

I guess that gives me blog posts in mini-bites. They won't be tidy posts, cleverly tied back to the beginning. They're just...random.

I won't post them all together the way they are in my head. That would be way too confusing. So, I'll just give you a little mini-bite here and there...

Lauri posted awhile back (okay, so there was a before to this) about the recent discipline episode of J&K+8. While I do think J&K do much right, I think they're missing a big step. No, I'm not a parent. But, I have much experience disciplining children. I'll go ahead and brag a bit here and let you know that all our "special" teachers always rave about how well-behaved my classes are--regardless of school or grade. Sure, they're a little noisy. But they're kind, creative, respectful, responsible and obedient. I think that makes my observations share-worthy. Besides, it's my blog. ;>

In J&K+8, they talked about how important it is to have a child apologize after there has been misbehaviour. I completely agree. An apology should be made to the person who was wronged.

What I think J&K (and many others) are missing is the forgiveness part. Not only does the offender need to apologize, the wronged party needs to forgive them. And, once forgiveness is offered, the event is over. Finished. We keep no record of wrongs. When I mess up, I apologize and ask the children to forgive me. (They get very tickled at this. They love to tell me they forgive me.)

I work hard to make sure that there is no stigma to apologizing. An apology does not have to be an admission of guilt. It doesn't have to mean that your actions were intended to be hurtful. But, when you have hurt some one with your words or your actions, even if it was unintentional, you should express regret for that hurt and apologize.

And when someone apologizes, you accept it graciously and forgive them. And then you shake hands or hug and move forward as friends.

That's one thought rattling around in my brian. I think that the reconciliation process is incomplete without forgiveness being offered. And, I think without offering forgiveness, one is more likely to cherish up those wrongs. That would be harmful to our sense of community in the classroom.

By this point in the year, instead of bringing an offense to my attention and having me walk them through the

what-did-you-do/what-did-you-do/how-do-you-feel/is-that-what-you-meant/
did-you-say-that/are-you-sorry/did-you-say-that/do-you-forgive-her/
did-you-tell-her/is-it-over/shake-hands-and-be-friends-or-will-you hug

my students will tell me, "Such and such happened, but don't worry. We already got to the hugging and everything." I consider it a lesson well-taught when they can do that on their own.