placating the paper beast

We have everything. Everything! Everything the judge asked for is ready.

Just to remind you that crazy bureaucracy is not limited to Russia:

The judge asked for a local criminal clearance. S/he said that if I had diplomatic immunity (I don't think I do--no diplomatic passport but some dip privileges) I could get a letter from the consulate instead.

Since I've inquired previously about getting a local police clearance and gotten the run around (I am not registered at an address like all Russian residents and most visitors. I am simply registered with the consulate. So, because I don't have a registered address, I don't have an official police station.) I decided to bypass that and just get the letter from the consulate. I mean, that should be easy.

At a reception with the consul general, my principal asked her about it. Instead of the expected instant affirmative, she told us whom to contact. Contacted that person who told me to get an FBI check. Told her I had that and needed this. She replied with a downwardly-inflected, "We've never done that before." That is very different from an upwardly-inflected, "We've never done that before..." which implies "..but we should be able to. No problem. It'll be fun!" Downward inflection implies skepticism and doom.

Fortunately, it got handed over to (handed off? forced upon as a penance?) to the only non-crazy Ira I know in all of Russia. She's great! She co-ordinates all my travel permissions and takes care of the ex-pats at school. (She just finished renewing my kartooshka or dip card as my "travelling spouse" friend says. She probably knows.) She asked me for some specifics about to whom it was to be addressed. I asked the agency (got one answer) and, on a bcc, my translator (got another). I sent Ira the answer with an example "Kate has been an employee of the US Consulate in St. Petersburg since August 2005. She has no criminal history while living here." that was approved by agency and translator.

Easy, right? Surely you know better by now.

I was hired to teach in Moscow and then was moved to the St. P school. SO, when I arrived, I flew into Moscow. They took my passport to register me. I took the train to St. P. Then it took a month for them to de-register me in Moscow and re-register me in St. P. That means, the consulate only has me living here since September 2005--which won't match my homestudy.

We spent days offering solutions, possible re-wordings, etc. They called the embassy to find out if they had the letter I carried around for weeks while they change my registration. The embassy said just shredded all their old letters this summer.

Finally, this afternoon, I got the news that my letter and my new kartooshka are ready! (Now that the kartooshka is ready, my car can get re-registered and insured and I'll be able to drive again. Yea!)

A week from today I'll be arriving in region for court!