03 August 2006

in the aftermath

I just felt gobsmacked during that last post. This visit was just so unexpected. After sending out some e-mails and trying not to hyperventilate (never had that problem before), I decided to walk to school. (It's only a mile away.) Walking is always a good choice for me. I do some of my best praying on my feet. I knew there were boxes of books and dvds that I'd shipped from England. And, I hoped there would be something else.

I bumbled around trying to find a sock that I kept losing. At the time, this was all-consuming. Finally dressed, I headed out. I didn't do much praying. I was still breathing unsteadily and certainly didn't want to burst into tears as I was crossing Troiksy Most. My heart and my mind were racing. But, I was able to do a little praying. I was able to ask the Holy Spirit to intercede for me and to take every step, every breath as a prayer. I calmed down. I know that I tend toward the dramatic at times (hey--that earned me a decent living, so don't knock it) and was ready for my calmer, more rational, logical self to return. I was also hoping.

My hopes were rewarded and those footstepped prayers answered! At school I found my notarized homestudy!! Remember that my sw didn't send it to be apostilled? She sent it to me? Hooray!! Now I have my homestudy to take with me on Tuesday. I haven't opened it, but I know it's here--and bears an all-important stamp. Confidence in a zip-up file!

On the way back, my mind and heart were still buzzing. I started thinking about a dress I'd bought in England. (I'm such a girl.) It's really lovely. When I spent too much money on it, I was trying to believe that I could wear it to court in March--rationalizing that a thin cotton dress would be perfect in the very warm court building in March...But now, I can wear it Tuesday! And, I've lost another two pounds since I've been back from England so I'm feeling thinner. Poise in a steel-blue dress!

So, confident and poised I'm ready for Tuesday. But if you'd keep praying for me, that would be even better.



Maggie said...

You're going to do great. Who knows? Maybe your adoption process will be quicker seeing that you're living in Russia. I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers!

Rhyne & Jake said...

I can't believe all that I've missed by not checking in for just 1 day! I love the new look by the way! So glad your homestudy is behind you and now you're on to the next step in your journey! Pray all goes well !!

votemom said...

praying for you this morning (well, it's morning in michigan). God isn't on any clock, thankfully.

Lauri said...

Praying for you... keep us updated

Kay B said...

Praying right now for the Holy Spirit to give you peace and that the words from your mouth would be His perfect words.


Anonymous said...

Kate, I like the phrase you used, "footstepped prayer." Walking's a great way for me to clear my head, pray, and listen. Last week was very rough at work--had decided to take a long walk Friday evening, and reading your post reinforced it. It really helped, as it sounds like it did for you. Glad to hear you're feeling better!