30 December 2006

traffic calming & mountain roads

Wouldn't it be great if this last post of 2006 (well, probably the last post...who knows what inspiration tomorrow will bring?) ended with some good news about my adoption? Wouldn't it be fantastic to hear that all my documents were in and being translated in anticipation of being filed when the offices open again on 15 January?

Yeah, I think that would be great, too.

It would also be a big, fat lie. Nothing has been completed. This is not my fault. All of my work, save one document I've repeatedly asked for and not received help with, is finished --and has been for months. The facilitators for my agency are still making demands of my sw regarding the homestudy. They are still not answering questions I ask of them. I am very frustrated with them.

Last week I was really upset to think that 2006 would end without my papers being filed. I know 31 December is just an arbitrary date. I didn't even realize that I'd set it as a deadline in my head. But somehow...not filing by the end of the year was big.

I know, I believe, I am thankful for the fact that this adoption, like everything in my life, is planned for me. I know God's timing is not my timing. (Please--how many times have I had THAT lesson?) I believe that His plan is better for me than any plan I could devise for myself. (See previous parentheical remark.) I'm thankful that I have a loving Father who wants more that what is good for me, He wants what is best for me.

But, despite all that knowledge and sincere belief, I was still a little sad. That, too, passed and I'm now waiting again--and striving to do it as cheerfully and as patiently as I can. I'm trying my best to be thankful in all circumstances. I'm even thankful for the extra time it's taking for this to go through. It's not fun and it's not what I would choose, but, obviously, there is a reason for the delay. Either I'm not ready for her or she is not ready for me or there is some other reason that I cannot even begin to imagine that needs more time. Ripples. (Any Joan of Arcadia fans out there?)

So, the journey continues. In England there are signs that read "Traffic Calming" that come before speed bumps. When driving in the Rockies one encounters many twists and curves to keep drivers from going too fast. Slowly but surely, with twists and curves and traffic-calming speed bumps, I'm making my way through this. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Please stick around. I hear there's a beautiful sight at the finish that you've got to see.

2007 is the year of the pig. In elementary school we said "pig" stood for pretty, intelligent girls. Hmmm...sounds like my kind of year.

6 comments:

Calico Sky said...

Oh Kate, it must be frustrating beyond belief. To know that you have done everything and that you are only waiting for them, is really hard. I hope your year of the P.I.G will be great!

Anonymous said...

I am totally in for the ride! I had no idea it's the Year of the Pig. I'm pleased because (and you won't hear me say this often) I'm a pig! 2007 will be a good year, just keep looking ahead.

votemom said...

yep.

not sure what else to say.

Lea said...

The waiting is so hard and it is most frustrating when we have some sort of deadline in our head and then it does't happen. When that happens to me, I always ask God what He is trying to teach me during this waiting period; I have never been disappointed with his response and have always felt that what He had for me to learn was something I needed before I received what I was praying for. For me, this seemed to ease my frustrations a bit, most of the time. I will be praying for you Kate.

6blessings said...

Here's to hoping that 2007 will bring your child home to you!!! It's going to be a great year for you! God is in control just as you said and His ways are higher than our ways. Believe me, at the end, you will see His plan in everything. It's really miraculous how it works out. I know the waiting is hard. I hope yours is almost over. Happy New Year!!

*ks* said...

because I love to quote Bonnie Tyler "I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night..." ;)
Fortunately we know who are hero is, and that He will see us through our journeys. Granted, that often doesn't make things EASIER, but it IS comforting. =)
And yes...Joan of Arcadia...why did that show have to end??
It's gonna be a great year! I've always liked pigs.