14 July 2008

medically speaking

One week post-antibiotics and I'm still healthy. Hooray! Oorah!

But, I suspect I have a more serious and heretofore unnamed medical condition. I think I have anti-anorexia.

If anorexia is a condition in which the person has a distorted body image, a body image which is much bigger than reality, then I have the opposite problem. I look in the mirror (usually in the morning, which might have something to do with this) and, while I see the extra...curves that have crept on in the last 2+ years that I've been adopting, I generally think I look pretty good. And then I see photos of myself and am faced with the reality that what I see in the mirror is not what the world is seeing.

This is particularly unsettling as I USED to be fairly photogenic. I made my living acting. (Ahh, the good old days...when I only had myself to worry about feeding and clothing and sheltering...) And now the camera is not my friend. I feel betrayed.

On a related note, I think my car my have Mechanical Munchausen's Syndrome. I haven't seen it in weeks. I think it likes the attention the mechanics give it.

Of course, no car means that I have to hoof it...and no internet means I have to hoof it to school at least every other day...and the fact that you cannot see the sky from my flat means I have to get OUT of there or sink into despair...which all may help to reconcile my mirror-image with my photographed-image.

See--all things really do work together for good. ;>


Lauri said...

I have that same condition, lets form a support group

Becky and Keith said...

Ohhh... I have that too! I've learned to tilt my head in the pictures to avoid the double chin! :-)

Heidi said...

Yes, if you use the mirror to help you practice... and lift your chin up ever so slitely... stand at an angel... 1 out of 100 times you can fool the camera!
BTW - love your writing! Now I know only to check every other day instead of every day as I was doing. It's also a good time of the year for all that walking, keep it up!

Anonymous said...

I have that anti-anorexia too! I'm always the photographer so I don't end up in pictures.
Love, Nif

votemom said...

hahahaha - this made me laugh. and the comments are making me feel better since i clearly have the same condition as well. oh dear.

you cannot see the sky?
i'm sorry. that is very, very sad.

thank you for updating.

Suzanne said...

me too! I think I am lovely and curvaceous, but the camera says I'm fat. Evil cameras.

Tami said...

It's all the camera's fault you know. That why there are very few of Maddie's adoption pictures with me in them! Shad says our if I die, our children will have no proof that I exist. I say I'll look better in their memories than I ever would have in those photos! :>)
I'm with lauri...let's form a support group. I'm working on a pithy name right now! :)

Annie said...

Back in my acting days, I used to think that I OCCASIONALLY looked "good" in photos - or, at least I didn't revulse myself. This is not the case anymore. The photo I like is rare, very rare. Now I begin to understand why my mother avoids the camera and makes reference to looking bad, though she is the most lovely, graceful 86 year old woman imaginable. I think she does not look the way she FEELS. I no longer do, either. So. I can only hope that people who love me find me attractive to THEM at least, and not repulsive.

An apartment without light is a sad idea. Do you get ANY sun at ANY time of day?

Lisa said...

I can totally identify... but the good news for me (as it may turn out to be for you) is that in about the first three months post-adoption, I somehow magically and without thinking about it one bit lost 20#. When I realized that, I started working on the other 10 or so that needed to go. The next 5 were easy but that last 5... well, still a work in progress.

Anonymous said...

those are some major issues, Kate...but look at all that unintentional exercise you're getting!

(and as I type this, my ass is just growing and growing...)