06 July 2008

Pollyanna triumphs

You guys are the best! Thanks for attending my little pity party.

Being the analytical person I am, I decided (it would be great if that Martha Washington quote was the one at the top right now) that the reason I was so upset (jr, I did shed some tears--and felt very childish and self-indulgent and confused about it--though I didn't have room to flop on the floor and kick my feet.) was because I had expectations that were not met. (Annie, I have no say in my flat. The school/consulate provide it and I gratefully accept.)

I expected to be bringing d2b HOME to this flat. And, while home is mostly about people, there were some things in the background of that picture--my bed, my desk, my books... I expected this flat to match my picture; to be HOME for the first year or even years of our life together. The only way I could change how I was feeling, because the bed and the desk and new bookshelves were not going to fit, was to change my expectations. Now, I see my new flat as a very nice, temporary place to live.

Perhaps most helpful was that before they leapt in to help, a friend here looked around and understood the difficulties without me saying anything. Feeling really, truly understood always makes me feel better. I've done some un-decorating. I've rearranged furniture. My friends have helped me move HEAVY furniture down a TINY hallway to make room for a bed in d2b's room. And, said friends have helped to dismantle some of the stupid elements in the kitchen. It's better. Much better.

My landlord probably won't think so. And, the landlords aren't very nice. They're rather condescending. AND, one landlord (one lives in England and one lives across the street) said they weren't even expecting me to move in, they were expecting a lady from Canada. (That would be my principal.) That might have made me maddest of all! Would they have refused to have me there because I'm an AMERICAN? Not cool. Don't get my patriotism boiling.

The parking space...well...apparently there was a meeting and "they" (if I ever chance to meet "them" one day, "they" will have a lot to explain) decided that renters would no longer be given a parking space.

So. My expectations and my attitude are changing. Pollyanna triumphs.

(Filing a new I600A tomorrow. And paying for it. But, don't have to have a new homestudy. That's something to bring about gladness!)

ps Still no internet at home so don't panic if an eon passes before a new post.


Becky and Keith said...

I love your posts - they always make me smile! I'm so glad you were able to get things rearranged. Good news on the I-600 and the homestudy too!

InventingLiz said...

Let's hear it for the power of a positive attitude! Glad you're feeling better about things.

Rachael said...

Pollyanna ALWAYS triumps!

And, I got the "cool boots" quote this time. How appropriate. Did you kick your stupid kitchen a little bit?

Hang in there, friend.

BTW, I did my six. Check it out when you get internet.

Annie said...

Well, this is why I resonate with your blog. That is "me" too. I add meaning to things and that leads to what might appear to be over-disappointment when things aren't as I expected. But it isn't as petty as it looks! That's the hard part to explain sometimes.

I am glad d2b will have a bed.

I really want to know what is "stupid" about the kitchen - or what WAS stupid. The "dismantling" has my interest piqued. My kitchen has been stupid for 17 years - nothing to dismantle to make it better unfortunately (though removing the shag carpeting (yes - in a KITCHEN) was a huge improvement.

Anonymous said...

Yeah for Pollyanna! I'm so glad you are looking at the bright side and that your eternal optimism has prevailed. You are my hero. :-)

And I am also very curious about the kitchen re-do. Do you have before and after photos?

Jenni said...

I'm glad things are looking brighter. That's great news about the homestudy too!

Holly said...

You really are Pollyana! Knowing me, I'd be sitting there bawling my eyes out with a tub of peanut butter and bag of Oreos.

Temporary's okay, right? It's not forever.

Maura said...

Glad to hear that the power of optimism - and making changes - is winning over the disappointment in the small apartment with the stupid qualities.

I totally get how you felt, and what a let down it had to be. But you're making the best of it and then some! And kudos to ditching the couch in d2b's room for a bed!

Tina in CT said...

Hopefully it will take on "cozy charm" and once you have a little girl in it, it'll give you a different feeling about it.

Are you obligated to stay there after the end of the school year next June?

Cindy said...

Hi Kate,

I've been following your blog through a link on my good friend, Katie from TN. (I'm also an adoptive mom of two children from Russia.)

I feel your frustration on the apartment situation. My husband and I lived in Japan for two years and had a very, very small apartment. Also, we were the only foreigners in the whole building which had 14 floors and about 15 apartments on each floor (do the math). Lots of fun stories about we "foreigners" that didn't quite fit in.

Anyway....just wanted to let you know that someone back in the US is rooting for you and sympathizing with your plight. I really admire you. I atleast had DH to listen to my rants.

Lastly, home is what you make it. The physical surroundings may not be what we imagine, but it's what's in it that matters. Your future daughter will love her new home and the Mom that's in it!

Anonymous said...

Of course Pollyanna triumphs! You never stay down long! Glad to hear you have some help making the place a home for you and D2B.

Check out what's prominently displayed in bookstores these days...

junglemama said...

You are just so positive. You are faithful and one day your daughter will be home.

M.Nassif said...

nice post and congrats for the party :)

u have all my sympathy for ur landlord , mine makes me feel like being his prisoner actually lol
anyway allison and I would be honored if u take a look on our blog and tell us what u think :)


c ya kate

Anonymous said...

That's my Kate, always finding the positive. Jubean