a fond, simple story

(I should explain to new readers that "my" girls in 3.10 are girls that I sponsor. I visit, take birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, and just spend afternoons with them. They are beautiful and amazing. They hold a very large piece of my heart. If you click on the 3.10 label at the end of the post or in the sidebar, you can read their story. I have not yet received a referral.)

I've been thinking about a snip of a conversation that we had with the girls while we were having tea and cupcakes Saturday. (Marina was surprised that we shared teabags. I am a pro at this by now--steeping just long enough to tint the water brown before passing it on.) Marina asked if I'd made the cupcakes. "Of course," the girls and I replied. They've gone from surprise that I'd baked on my first birthday visit, to boasting on my behalf to newcomers several visits later, to now resting in fact that I do this for them every time. I really like that, actually. It sounds like they're taking it for granted that I'd make something for them, expecting this to happen. I am so glad! It's nice to be taken for granted in this way. It's nice to be expected and trusted.

Marina asked the girls if they cooked. They said no, that they didn't get cooking lessons until eighth grade. She asked them something else about cooking and it was explained to her that cooking was not allowed in the orphanage. (extrapolate the "filling may be hot" warning on mcd's apple pies and tint it with Russian bureaucracy)

Then their caretaker told a fond, simple story about potato salad. One time, she said, she'd helped the girls to make potato salad. It was all very secretive, which I can only imagine added to the delight. After they'd made it, she said, they all ate as much as they wanted. Usually, she explained, they were only given a small amount. But that night they could have it all.

Writing this makes me teary. It's not just the simple delight in a meal cooked and shared. I can see their eyes gleaming as they lick sticky fingers. I can hear their stifled giggles and loud admonitions to one another to be careful, to be quiet, to not make a mess. I am sure that Vera, my little monkey, dropped something and crinkled up her shoulders, smiling, while the others rushed forward to affectionately scold her and relieve her of her duty. I can smell the vinegar. I wish I'd been part of that feast! I would love to have seen them so full and happy, full of love and adventure and potato salad.

The fact that these girls, who are 8-13 years old, don't cook has a far greater significance than I realized when I first heard the story. When I heard it, I tucked it away in the part of my heart that holds their histories. But it rattled around in there. It niggled. And I realized, driving home, that it couldn't simply be tucked away because it was more than history. It wasn't the same sadness that engulfed me this time last year when I gave K her first lotion, (read it if you haven't) but it was similar.

The niggling came not from regret that this self-made feast had only happened once in their lives, but because this little story showed how unprepared my girls are for the real world that is facing them in just a few short years. They don't know how to cook. They don't know how to do laundry. They don't know how to shop or handle money. They don't have the life skills that they'll need to leave the orphanage and succeed.

And, oh, how I want them to succeed. (When teaching Shakespeare, I tell my actors that long vowels--especially those on their own like "ay" and "oh"-- release emotion. Read that again. It's a groan, a moan, a sigh, a cry.) And, ohhhhhh, how I want them to succeed.

There is one program here in St. Petersburg that I've heard about (though there are rumors that it's defunct) that helps eight girls each year who leave the orphanages to live outside an institution. I'll let you know what I find out about it.

another visit

I went to visit the orphanage yesterday, loaded with birthday gifts (six birthdays since I was last there in my two sponsored groups) and cupcakes. The cupcakes were baked with the last box and a half of American cake mix that a departing ex-pat had left. And the frosting...well, it's hard to find powdered sugar here. I never find it. So, I tried a butter cream frosting recipe I found that started with evaporated milk (one can left by the same departee) and flour cooked until solid. Yum, huh? Yeah, it tasted about that good, too...and it was khaki-colored had the consistency of a bad tapioca. I tossed it and made a seven minute frosting (egg whites, sugar, vanilla and hot water) that was pretty good. I was afraid it would be meringue-y, but it tasted a bit like marshmellow. I colored it pink and dashed on sprinkles. The cupcakes and presents were enjoyed by all!

One of the best parts about this visit was that I convinced a Russian friend to come with me. I've been talking and talking about my girls. Marina often helps me make phone calls concerning the girls, and agreed to come along since it was K and Ka's birthdays (they're two of my favorites). It was nice to have her tell me how beautiful, how polite, how nice they were. Shy little N took to her right away. Marina liked my favorite caretaker and confirmed my opinions about the girls' personalities. It was nice to know I was spot-on even with limited Russian. And, we found that I understand almost everything...eventually. She was very impressed with my Russian--until I pointed out that it was more likely my understanding of PEOPLE than Russian that helped me.

Three new little girls have joined 3.10. They're eight and just-turned-nine. Two of their mothers were orphans in this same orphanage. It's sad to see this cycle continuing.

The new girls are so uncertain, so needy. They talk and talk about their train journey (They're from a different part of the region, quite far away actually. I'm guessing they were brought to this orphanage because of their mother's ties to it. I'm not sure about that, though.), the long taxi ride together, when their mother's are coming. The other girls are gentle with them, especially little N. They stick close together and close to their caretaker.

Due to the economic crisis, caretakers hours have been extended significantly and their pay cut by 25%. My favorite caretaker (she's been there 20 years and actually knew the two girls' mothers--one of the girls is named after her) is worried that the orphanage will be closed and she'll lose her job. Her son has a large debt that she is paying because he has lost his job.

Her husband is just finishing a bathhouse/sauna and I'm invited to come by once fall arrives.

The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the weather was warm. We played a sort of combination volleyball/team handball over the monkey bars while the older boys cursed and played soccer nearby.

On the way back, always a hard time for me. I implored Marina to tell EVERYONE how amazing these children are. People are so scared by older children in orphanages (and not just in Russia). I want her help in letting families know about my wonderful children there. I just can't bear to have them be another tragic statistic.

Надо

Guess what I need.

A coke? (usually) A nap? (often) An updated homestudy? (always)

Yep--it's time to update my US hs...and my medical, my FBI clearance, my employment and my local police status.

Fun, eh?

I'm just hoping thing happen quickly enough that these updates are current when we go to court.

forewarned

Yesterday my mobile rang. It was Nastia calling from school.

"Kate. I've just heard. They're towing cars on your street starting at midnight."

It may not be the call, but it was a GREAT call, nonetheless!

4-5-6, please

It should not surprise any of you that I chose the age range of d2b with great care, thought and research. Research helped me set the top end (though I'm sorely tempted to increase it). Thought and care set the younger parameter.

As I've mentioned many times over the last three-plus years, I have requested a little girl or sisters aged 4-6 years. I do not want to adopt a baby and then hand her over to someone else. That's not how I want to parent.

If I could be a SAH mom, then I'd happily bring home a younger child. But that is not an option for me either now or in the foreseeable future. I do not want to put my newly-adopted child in a Russian kindergarten (daycare). I can only imagine how confusing it would be to take a child out of one Russian institution and then enroll her in another. I do not want to hire a Russian nanny. I don't want her to be surrounded with a worldview that is at odds with mine. I don't want to be the only person in her life who doesn't speak Russian. Can you imagine how confusing that would be? Can you imagine the added attachment issues that would bring?

Even if I was in the US, and the daycare providers and/or nanny spoke English, I would not want to do this. I can not imagine adopting a baby and then handing her to someone else. It's just not kateish. I can't. I won't.

When d2b comes home, we're going to stay home for every single FMLA day that I have. By adopting a child aged 4-6 years, when that time is over, she can come to school with me. She will be in the classroom next door if she's in kindergarten and the one upstairs if she's ready for first grade. I can still be the one who kisses her scraped knees, gives her lunch and reassures her. She can pop in at recess and see that I'm still there. She will be learning English and surrounded by other children who are learning English. It's an international, multi-cultural community. And, it's small enough and flexible enough to allow for what is best for my child. It will let me parent AND teach.

And that's why I'm teaching. I'm teaching because I want to be with my child. Teaching doesn't give me the most money. It won't buy us vacations in Greece. But it will give us the most time together.

So, that's a little bit of how I came to the conclusion that d2b is 4-6 years old. I'm not adopting a baby. Because sweet as two-year-olds are (and I love those "terrible" two's), adopting a baby won't let me be the parent that I want my daughter to have.

new digs

I know where I'm moving! (Jim, they like to keep all the foreign-hire teachers close, so I can't move to Vasilevsky. Too bad 'cause I love it there--although it has very poor bridge access to Petrogradsky, where I work.)

I'm moving into a flat that our school currently uses. The teachers who live there are leaving and the lease has been re-negotiated. The flat has a nice big living room and an open kitchen. It has two bedrooms and a larger bathroom than my current one (which is modeled after an airplane lavatory.) There are American appliances left from previous tenants. (A drier. A DRIER!) There is a babushka who stays downstairs all the time and the principal will live upstairs from me. That's all good!

It's on a canal and the tour boats that cruise up and down incessantly are LOUD. So, I anticipate some griping posts about that. I'm a little sad to be ending my time on Millionaire's Row--simply because of the name. But, in all, I'm glad of the move.

crumbs

Agency says the MOE was closed last week. I think it will likely be closed Friday for May Day and then possibly through May 11 (Victory Day is May 9.) So, I think it could be awhile before we hear anything.

Agency asked if I was interested in younger than four (settle down, Julianne) just as a possibility and I said not really. I did offer to up my age range to seven. But, I get the feeling they don't have great contacts outside the baby homes. Hmmm... I'm sure we talked about this before I signed....

In other news:

• I am going to be moving this summer. Hooray! Probably hooray. I'll be glad to not be here. But, I don't know yet where I'm going.
  
• I have a student teacher. Oi.
• Sleep deprivation season has begun! Although, this year, we sort of skipped mud season. I guess that's what global warming (sarc!) does...

Hang in there. I am.

name game revisited

Thanks for the first-hand name experiences! I wanted to post this where it would be seen in case those commenters aren't following the comments.

My plan, right now, is to keep d2b's Russian name either as her first name or her middle name. I don't want to erase the part of her life that she lived before me. Her Russian name will be there--I'm just not sure how. I won't be sure until I meet her and hear her name. I have three English names that I just love. One of those will be added somehow. That's my gift, the part that welcomes her to my family. It lets me claim her as mine. If d2b is plural, then I get to use two of those cherished names.

For me, this seems like the best way to keep HER name and to help her feel loved and accepted. It gives her options for the day when she's old enough to choose. Being a name-changer myself, I understand the need to feel comfortable in your name.

And I said I wasn't going to write another post on names. The more fool me.

fortnight plus?

No news yesterday.

No news today. Yet.

I did show tremendous restraint and waited to e-mail until today. M always says that she'll e-mail me as soon as she has news, and I'm sure she would, but news always seems to come right after I e-mail her.

When I woke up yesterday, there was a song with what I think d2b's name will be in it playing. That seemed promising. I thought about doing a photo every hour yesterday. I thought that might be fun to post and for d2b to see someday. How great to be able to record the referral day! But, I decided that seeing me teaching school was not that interesting. And, I didn't really want to show all of you pictures of my messy house and my computer screen as I watched the sling and checked things around the web.

Today I had a small hope that there would be news waiting when I woke up. I was even telling the story to myself. "I had taken a shower and was in my blue robe. I put in my contacts so that I could see the computer and went down to feed the cats. Then I had some chocolate chip cookies (Just found these this weekend. They're from Holland and very good!) and milk for breakfast while I checked my e-mail." And there was no referral news.

So, there's no mad dash to post and e-mail before the clock hits 7:00. It's time to blow dry and head off to school. I have a student teacher right now, so it's not the relaxing place it once was. But, I'll be busy.

Really feeling like the bus is late. Again.

passing the time

Yep. Just sitting here killing time and filling space while we count down those two weeks...

I could write about the names I'm thinking of using, but I already did that.

I could write about how differently I think I'll parent a pi child than I would a bio child, but I already did that, too.

That's what my mind is filled with right now. You can see that it's been filling my mind for a long time.

But what can I give you...

I headed out Saturday to run an errand. I was struck with how empty Palace Square was...but how typically it was peopled. Then I realized--you might now know what it usually looks like. AND, I had my camera...so... Here are the soldier boys marching across the square. It's likely that a practice for Victory Day was in the offing.
Carriages lined up in front of the Hermitage waiting for tourists:


Tour groups in front of the Hermitage.

Roller-blading siblings:

A motorcycle rally (This is not completely typical. But, it IS typical for the square to be used as a public gathering place--for bike races, roller blade rallies, marathons, celebrations, concerts, etc.):

On the way homeI wandered through a book store and picked up some sticker books to take on my referral trip.>

And then ended up stopping by the store for a few odds and ends. When I saw this I had to eat it for my sister--who loves chocolate covered cherries. It was good--but the stick was all the way inside the ice cream.

This is the sign letting everyone in my courtyard know that Saturday was subbotnik. While I was out I checked on my own courtyard and on the nearby street mentioned. It seems the compulsory voluntary work days that Lenin held dear are held less dearly today.

girl of substance

About a month ago when I was praying for d2b--that they are safe, sleeping well, that they smiled at something today, that they are loved, that their hearts would be prepared for me, that a longing for a family would be present and growing in their hearts, that I'd know them, that they would be beautiful in my eyes, that the right children would be referred to me first--something felt different. There was more weight to her. (I started to think it really was only one child.) She felt more solid, more like a person I know and less like someone I don't.

That was a week or two before I heard that I'll hear soon.

I still am hoping for sisters, but I think d2b is singular.
I am hoping she's five--or even six, but have a feeling she is four.
I have no idea what she looks like.
I can feel her hand in mine.

This is an excerpt from a yahoo group post I wrote shortly after my paperwork was approved. I thought it should be here, too:

I just wonder who and when. I have looked at the little faces on the databank for my region. There's a little girl with dimples so deep and a smile so open that you just want to raspberry her belly to hear her laugh. Those dimples are very kissable.

There is a little girl who is so delicate and gentle. She wants a slow, quiet place to blossom. She makes me feel very protective.

And a third little girl has the most beautiful hands. Her little picture is posed during a recitation or a dance. She has a big grin and just looks like she's having fun.

There is a little pixie who is glancing sideways at the camera and smiling impishly.

These four... I can't help but wonder. It's very likely that d2b isn't on that database at all. And the majority of the pictures there are so sad--children with obvious challenges. But these four little ones give me hope.

keeping busy

You guys are fab! How do people adopt who don't blog?

And, I've realized that I know a lot more Russian than I thought I did. As I was reading through your lovely lists, I didn't even have to think about how to say most of it in Russian. That makes me feel better. I also have half of a class ready to chatter away to me on Monday to remind me that I am an excellent ELL-communicator and teacher-of-English. That year at The Oxford School of Drama really paid off. ;>

I'm so glad to have my Russian teacher helping me. I was driving her home last week and was speaking to her like a child. She was doing something dangerous and I told her to "Be careful!" My Russian teacher told me that was not a strong enough warning for a child. That what I needed to tell her was "That is forbidden." Some of that, I think, is cultural. Children in the US are encouraged to explore and to find things out for themselves. I remember when I was visiting my friend Dawn in Ukraine. One of her friends there was shocked by how American treated their babies--putting them down to crawl and explore. The friend told me that Ukrainian babies were bundled up tightly and expected to sit still. I've recommended it countless times, but Two Worlds of Childhood by Urie Bronfenbrenner is an extremely interesting read that makes this point very clearly, even though it's dated and out of print. Children are raised to fit into the society of which they will be a part. So, at the beginning I can reassure d2b (and the orphanage workers, social workers, etc.) with familiar boundaries and vocabulary before we're home. Then the swaddling comes off and she can explore! (Figuratively speaking, nach.)

Today I'm finishing a photo book with captions to leave with d2b. (me, our house--which I think I'll replace with a page about St. Petersburg 'cause I think I'm moving, the cats--who need to pose together nicely for a new picture but aren't feeling amenable, family in the US, friends in St. P (current kindergarten class), friends in the US) I'll laminate and bind it at school. And, I'll leave a blank page and bring some contact paper so I can add a picture of us together.

I'm thinking that a bead kit would be good to bring for the first visit--a fun activity, lots to talk about and good fine-motor assessment all in one! I've got notebooks, coloring books, markers (shudder-will def. leave at the children's home), balloons, bubbles, nail polish, lots of chapsticks, and a beach ball. I might go look for more stickers. (Bex--what did you take to Julia?) I've got sticker books and eye-spy books...but those are for the plane. I've got wooden sewing cards, but those won't travel well. We can always go outside or just play with what's there.

I need to buy or borrow a video camera and a laptop. Electronics here are EXPENSIVE so I'm hoping for the "borrow" option.

Oh. No. You didn't miss anything. I still don't have news. I'm just packing my equivalent of the hospital bag and leaving it by the door.

your useful phrases

Okay, bloggerville--chime in.

My Russian teacher (who has been too busy for Russian lessons for, oh, the last two years but who would have been incredibly hurt and insulted if I'd found another teacher--the mention of "Rosetta Stone" had her huffy for weeks) has graciously conceded that I *am* in a rather urgent language situation. And, she's even decided to stop teaching me to learn Russian and instead help me to learn Russian phrases. (I told her I need to know how to issue commands in Russian--a whole 'nother case-and she finally agreed.) There is a huge distinction. I'd still love to learn Russian. But, I'm happy she's willing to shift gears.

So, if you're an AP, especially of a 4-6 year-old, what were your most useful Russian phrases? If you're not, what do you find yourself saying to your three or four-year-old over and over? And what am I going to say when I meet her? I hate to rely on a translator for that first meeting. I think we need to color. And look at books of animals. I'm good with animals, toys and colors. And dolls--I can play babies in any language.

Surprisingly, I came up with a lot of useful parenting phrases which include:

It's okay.
It's not scary.
Well done!
Let's go. Quickly.
Come here. Quickly.
Let's walk.
Listen.
Watch.
Be careful.
That's forbidden.
I said...
What did I say?
Do you want...
Do you have...
What is that?
Hold my hand.
Sit down.
Be quiet.
Stay here.
This is not a joke.
I'm serious.
Very interesting.
Really?
You need to sleep.
You are tired.
You are very tired.
Mommy is very tired.
You are a dear, sweet, beautiful girl.
I love you, ________. (with various endearments)

I'm making a list of things I don't know but think I'll need:

Be gentle.
Leave the cat alone.
We don't hit.
We don't kick.
We don't spit.
We don't scratch.
We don't bite.
You must obey Mommy.
Wipe.

eta: Flush.
Wash your hands.
Don't touch.

That's as far as I've gotten. I know there are more for both lists.

Wanna help? PLEASE?

eta: You guys are great! Even when there are suggestions that are things that I know (my Russian vocabulary is much more extensive than what I've written here), it reassures me and reminds me that I can, actually, SPEAK. And, as I've found visiting my orphanage kiddos, children are much easier to speak to than adults are! I know it will wreak havoc with your reader feeds, but I think I'm going to keep updating this list as suggestions come in so that I have them all on one page. Целоваю--Kisses/I kiss you!

rewind

Still pretty happy here. ;> Thanks for being happy with me. It's so GREAT to be able to share progress!

It's like that kitten at the beginning of the last video when he gets to those last few steps... What? You missed the video? Even with the nice title I gave it? KIDDING. I know--it got overshadowed by my amazing news. And I do love having amazing news to share.

But do go read that post before it.(<--That's the same link, just in case you didn't click it up there. I wanted to give you a second chance.) Because, IF I start a new blog when d2b is home and it has the address I think it will, then you'll need to have read that post for it all to make sense.

I'd hate to leave you out of the loop.

a fortnight?

Other people's mail is always so much more interesting to read. Unless you're ME, TODAY!

-----Original Message-----
From: kate [mailto:onlyk8@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, April 09, 2009 1:40 AM
To: M
Subject: checking in

Hi, M.

I just wanted to check in and see what you'd heard from Sergei in MD. What's the news?

Thanks,
Kate

--- On Mon, 4/13/09, M wrote:

From: M
Subject: RE: checking in
To: "kate"
Date: Monday, April 13, 2009, 8:59 PM

Hi Kate,
Sergei is expecting news within the next 2 weeks, and I will let you know what the news is as soon as I hear from him. You will either be invited or they will give him an idea of when you may be invited.
M

From ME, Kate, to M just NOW:

No WAY! There is a possibility that I could be invited in TWO WEEKS!!!

Today was our first day back after spring break so I was fielding more, "Any news?" questions than usual. I told all of them--quite truthfully--that there wasn't but I really didn't expect any until late May or June.

So I'm floored.

Wow.

I know, I know--I could still be May or June or July....but it could be in a few weeks!

THANKS, M!
Kate

harken

I am a Sesame Street baby. The show started the year I was born. When my sister came home on my third birthday, I wanted to name her Maria. (I also wanted to exchange her for a puppy. Neither happened. Go fig.) Friends tell me today's Sesame Street is a little less wholesome, a little too pc, and a little less magical than it used to be. But I grew up in the golden age of Sesame Street. I can sing you soooo many Joe Raposo songs...

Here's one. I just love the kitten in the beginning of this and all. those. stairs.

I'm thinking when d2b comes home I may need a whole new blog filled with classic Sesame Street clips interspersed with war stories. (Okay, it's spring break. I've got a cold and lots of time on my hands.**note: Post was written during spring break, though today was a school day. And the doctor says he doesn't think it's strep--test will be back on Saturday.)

At any rate, enjoy. And keep on trying and trying again.

let's celebrate

Happy Easter!

I find it very odd to be celebrating holidays when the world around me isn't. This is true for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter as well as smaller, silly days like Groundhog's Day and St. Patricks's Day. There is a communal spirit that, for me, is lacking. The air is not full.

It might seem like this is an ideal opportunity to cast aside the commercialism of these holidays and focus on their true meaning. There are no Cadbury bunny ads, no one is buying Easter hats and dresses and there is no competition for the biggest basket. But, there is a shared spirit of anticipation that is also missing. It's a little lonely.

It makes me wonder what I'll do when d2b is home. Delaying and celebrating Easter and Christmas on an orthodox calendar (which I could do for Easter since it changes every year anyway but don't think I could give up December 25 as my Christmas) doesn't really solve the problem. Those holidays just aren't CELEBRATED here. They're observed by some, but the spirit of celebration, for me, is lacking. These are important holidays to me and need to be celebrated--joyfully, wholeheartedly and expansively.

TCK's (third culture children) often have difficulties with holidays. They've been told about them, and they've celebrated facsimiles of them with their immediate families and their ex-pat community, but they haven't experienced the "real" holiday that they're parents are trying to recreate. Having marshmellows for the sweet potatoes becomes an end unto itself and not a fond reminder of past holidays spent with family. I don't like either sweet potatoes or marshmellows, but when I'm planning Thanksgiving here in Russia, I know that is something important to include for my ex-pat friends. Even if none of us eats them, passing the dish untouched is part of our holiday experience. We know that Grandma loves them and that they belong on the table.

I think it's a little like the forced nostalgia those of us in the baby bust generation experienced growing up watching television shows like Happy Days and The Wonder Years. We were presented with a sentimental view of a time we'd never experienced.

But my little one(s) have extra obstacles. How do I find ways to celebrate holidays that they know nothing about? . How do I create traditions (because traditions and rituals are important anchors) that are celebrations and not recreations? It's something I think about. I suppose, to a certain degree, it will be like teaching my class about the way people celebrate around the world. It will be fun and interesting the first few times. The emotional attachments and the traditions will just have to grow over the years.

Flying back to the US to celebrate each holiday is not the answer for me. Firstly, because in the first year or two we're sticking close to home. I think disrupting life to be thrust, jetlagged, into a new culture with new people is not the way to build a family or build traditions. I think it would just be stressful for all of us. And, secondly, I am so ready to NOT be travelling on holidays. As a singleton, I'm the one who is expected to make the rounds. And, sometimes it's nice. But sometimes I just want to stay home and make my own holidays.

Whatever answer I come up with, and I'm sure it will evolve and change, I am very much looking forward to being the holiday-maker for me and d2b. I can't wait for us to celebrate together.

need your Rx eta

eta: Cheers, guys. Your comments have highlighted my dilemma! No fever. No swollen glands. No sinus problems. Really, no sign of any infection. So, no doctor, right? But, do have some nausea and loss of appetite. In my students sore throat + bad tummy always = strep. And my teeth feel kind of fuzzy, vote. So I should go to the doctor. But going to the doctor here...unreliable. Remember the ENT who rx'd peach oil for my respiratory infection last spring? And I generally feel worst morning and evening and okay during the day. I've been doing honey all week, Carrie. And zinc, vitamin C, echinacea... but still bleh.

If I'm asking if I need to go, I probably do. But WHAT is the POINT of waiting to see the doctor (two weeks for a cold to go away if you see a doctor, 14 days if you don't, said my US doc.) if you just feel BAD for two weeks and THEN have to have all sorts of icky chemicals? And I just don't think it's strep. I don't think my throat feels bad enough for it to be strep. And there's no fever. So there's no infection and I don't need an antibiotic, right?

Not today, I think. I don't even feel like going shopping today. Today I'll make some more chicken soup with lots of garlic. But maybe I'll call to see who is in the office today and tomorrow. If Dr. Peach Oil is in, my decision is made!

I hate to go to the doctor. And, I don't really want to take ANOTHER round of antibiotics. Last spring/summer was too much.

But strep was going around. And I have a sore throat. And a killer pressure headache. And no energy. For a week.

BUT, I would think that my throat would be really sore if this was strep.

So...will juice and rest and soup fix this or do I need to go to the doctor? (I can't see into my throat to tell if there are white spots on it or not. And it's spring break, so everyone's gone.)

Help?

massage

I went for a massage today.

I love getting a good massage. Touch is important! And massage lowers my stress (which gets carried in my neck--especially the left side) and keeps me healthy. And, it makes me feel GREAT--loose, languid and with a lower pitch to my voice.

However, my massage experiences in Russia have not been good. They're way too hard with lots of fast, fingertip action (ouch). There's no manipulating a tense muscle until it pops. There's no cheesy waterfall and pan pipe music. There is nothing relaxing, to me, about Russian massage.

Today I went to a spa (instead of having someone come to my house). I had booked an hour massage but asked that it be only on my back/neck/shoulders/head. The receptionist told me that they offered a back and neck massage that was thirty minutes. I said I knew that, but that I wanted the hour "relaxing massage". She said I could have two back & neck massages. I told her that was more expensive and that I wanted the relaxing massage. She made a phone call and seemed to sort it all out.

My "specialist", Tanya, came to collect me and take me to the treatment room. On the way we chatted about what I did, where I lived, and why I wasn't at work. Once in the room she asked if I wanted my legs done. I told her no. She asked about my arms. I told her I didn't need that. "Why?" she demanded. I took a deep breath (knowing that I looked like a deer in the headlights) as I mentally rushed through my Russian vocabulary to see if I could come close to "One time when I let them do my arms, they dislocated my elbow." I couldn't, so I just said, "It is painful." Big exhalation from Tanya, the specialist.

Now, I've had lots of massages (the best in Tennessee at the Institute of Healing Arts, some good ones in Helsinki and Cincinnati--though Cinci is where they dislocated my elbow--and mediocre but not painful ones in the UK). In every case, I've been left to disrobe--leaving on my knickers. This time, I was presented with sort of disposable panties to put on--made out of the same stuff that shoe covers are. Seriously, I looked like an idiot as she presented me a tiny package that contained a scrap of elastic with two tiny panels of tough kleenex to cover my front and (some of my) back. I had no idea what she was handing me. I almost brought it home so I could photograph it for you, but just couldn't bring myself to do that. Ick.

Tanya did ask several times during the massage if it was painful. And, she was always surprised when I said yes! (Could she not see me cringing away from her until I nearly fell off the table?) But, when I told her it hurt, she'd say, "That's bad." and move on to somewhere else.

What I decided today was that the objective of Russian massage is different than the massage I'm used to. I think Russian massage, even if it's billed as relaxing, is meant to increase circulation. Judging by the value Russians put in getting whacked with branches post-sauna, circulation is important here. And, since I was really itchy, I think it succeeded in that. But it's not quite what I had in mind.

While I was lying there I had the feeling that this was significant. That it said something about...I don't know what. Russian adoption? Living in a global world? Misunderstandings in general? We're both talking about "massage" but what we think massage is and what we think massage should accomplish is very different.

I'm back. I'm massaged. I still have knots in my neck and the muscles across my chest are still tight enough to be drawing my shoulders in. It didn't release that tension or drain my lymph nodes (that might sound gross, but it really helps to knock out a lingering cold). I do have great circulation. I guess.

I'm wondering what the Swedish massage--as performed in Russia--would be like. Maybe I'll give massage in Russia one more chance. And if that doesn't work, I'll wait for my next trip to Helsinki.

pursuit of knowledge

Do you realize it's April? That means that our 3-5 month wait for a match *could* be up NEXT MONTH! Next month will be three months since approval. Wow.

I had an interesting trip to Knowledge Bowl in Warsaw. I did manage to walk in to see the reconstructed Old Town, but most of the trip was spent with our middle schoolers. I love middle schoolers. I was a junior high youth worker and have a minor in youth ministry. When it came time to choose what grade I'd teach, I was going to get my certification in grades 4-8. But, my youth group at the time told me to be their friend and not their teacher. It's advice I took. Now, I'm teach primary grades but play with the big kids.

It was our school's first knowledge bowl. Our kids always make an impression when we gather with other international schools--for being NICE. They're nice kids. They are kind to one another. They have an innocence that the kids from the bigger schools lack.

As far as knowledge went, we didn't do quite as well. The first day we won half of our matches. That means we lost half. And the ones we lost, we lost gloriously. That night we saw the Warsaw school's (900 students) production of Midsummer. I had three cast members from my show with me...and two enthusiastic fans.

I'll just say it (no false modesty here)--ours was soooo much better! Seriously- SOOO much better. I know I'm a good director, (refer to previous parenthetical expression) but this reminded me that I'm a GOOD director. I'm a VERY good director. This was clear not only from the production, but from the comments of my actors. These nice kids weren't ha-ha-ha-ing. They were making comments (when we were on our own) about use of space, understanding the text, handling the verse, physicality... And they were quick to point out the interesting costumes, amazing set and "better mushiness" of the production we saw.

But our production was better. And, seeing that after a rough day of competition lifted spirits.

The second day of competition went much like the first. The kids competed a little better, but didn't steal the show. We faltered in math. There were few questions in our stronger categories of literature, history and geography.

But, we had a nice time.

While there I met a single adoptive mum from another school. It was great to get to talk to her a bit about what lies ahead. And it could be lying ahead next month!

be back soon

Here's a perk to international teaching: I'm accompanying the middle school knowledge bowl team to their competition. In Warsaw.

We leave tomorrow and will be back late Sunday. THEN, we have spring break.

Nice, eh?

advantage, Kate

I thought that living in Russia would be both better for d2b and would make things easier for me to adopt. I was woefully mistaken on the last count. But, I still think that there are aspects of my living here that will make me a better parent to my Russian-born child/ren. (Yes, I plan to raise them to be proud of being an American. I'm not one to hyphenate when it comes to being American.) Surely living here has its advantages.

Let's see...

I can visit between trips. Oh. But I'm not going to be adopting locally, so that's out.

I can communicate in Russian. Well, actually, I'm more of a survival-Russian-speaker than a conversationalist. And baby talk is as different in Russian as it is in English. No one thinks to teach you the baby talk. You learn "stomach" not "tummy", "cat" not "kitty", "pajamas" not "jammies".

I understand more of the Russian culture and mindset. I don't know how that really helps, though.

I won't have to make as many international flights. But, I will have to make TWO trans-Atlantic flights with d2b immediately following getting custody. Those are the flights that AP's either tell horror stories about or have blacked out from their memories. I'll have two instead of one.

I won't be jetlagged for my first trip. THAT's a good thing! I don't do well when I'm tired.

Ummm.

Yeah. No jetlag. Okay...

I'll take it.

more genius

Though I'm decidedly not a fan of the genre there are a few reality tv shows that I watch (some of the Bravo set and The Amazing Race). Somehow, I view the the Bravo shows as educational programming.

Project Runway has turned me into a design genius. Of course, I still haven't managed to hem the last round of trousers that were sent to me... But my fairy costumes looked great!

Top Chef has turned me into a gourmet chef...who could still live on peanut butter and Coca Cola.

So now I'm watching old series of America's Next Top Model in hopes of dropping some pounds and looking fierce. You've got to admit, this is the best weight-loss plan I've had since I put my cat on a diet. (Go ahead. Click it.)

Ooo...maybe I should start watching Millionaire Matchmaker...

clash of the cultures

Teaching in an international school (well, teaching in my school) means not only teaching TCK's and with other ex-pats (both of whom have a cultural background that is similar to mine, whether by experience or by inculcation) but also with people from a completely different world view. Our school is small and has a higher proportion of locally-hired teachers to foreign (US/UK/Canadian...though we're all US right now) -hires than other international schools. The local hires have a large majority--though the foreign-hires tend to drive the program. Sometimes this is great. Sometimes, frankly, this is just an annoyance.

One of our teachers, in particular, drives me and all the ex-pat "foreign hire" teachers crazy. She's a "local hire". There are many things about her teaching that drive me crazy that might or might not have anything to do with where she was hired, but I suspect it does.

She has *no* control over her class. They are loud, disobedient (to her, not me) and completely rule the roost. Seriously--it's Lord of the Flies in there. I'm worried about d2b being in that unstructured class. This teacher was appalled when I suggested she just tell her students they couldn't do something. "I could never say no to them." I replied, "I say no to them every day." She thinks they are...who knows? I think her expectations for them both academically and socially are entirely too low. She's always late and, quite frankly, is lazy. These challenges, I suppose, might be encountered in any school (though I haven't ever met a teacher like this).

But then there are those little challenges that just blindside me. We're planning a K-8 activity day that student council really wanted. It's all egg-related activities in celebration of Easter. We're doing it on Monday because the rest of the week we have teachers out.

I got an angry, spiteful e-mail from her after trying to help sort out her objections to Monday. She doesn't want to prepare things before then but won't choose an activity that requires less preparation--I suggested one that student council wanted and offered to change the time table and got slammed. She also slammed me for suggesting another activity and for e-mail it. (Ummm..I had playground duty before school and student council at recess so I e-mailed everyone an update while my kiddos did their morning journal. I was going to go and make the rounds at lunch. Instead I went home with a migraine. Huh. Wonder why.)

Okay. So that's all school politics. No, I've never taught with someone like this, but it can't completely be blamed on culture. (Well, the no-education-for-five-year-olds IS cultural...but not the horrible e-mail.) But then she had the gall to say that what was bothering her was that we were wasting food and that was disrespectful of the people--including her grandmother--who lived through or died in the siege.

Huh?

So now I don't know if she was bitchy because of her dead grandmother or manipulatively bringing up the siege (you can't argue with the siege) because she was feeling bitchy about not getting the day she wanted. I, perhaps unfairly, suspect the latter. Fortunately, my other ex-pat teachers leapt into the fray and had my back. They even pointed out that buying eggs (some to play a RUSSIAN Easter game and others to decorate in the UKRAINIAN style and the rest to conduct a science experiment) was helping the local economy.

Oi.

Just another little culture clash.

Our art teacher is a whole culture clash of her own.

kindle, part 1

It's here! And I've already put about seven books on it.

So far, I'd say that it's something I'll use here in Russia, but won't use in the states. It's good for traveling as you can fit over 1000 books on it. But, it's not a book. And I like books.

Still and all, I'm happy to have it. And I was even happier to find that there are books that you can get for FREE on kindle. Who knew? And that fact that there are several Wodehouse books in amongst those freebies is a HUGE score.

More soon. I've got "books" to read.

doing mischief in the woods

Have been caught up in fairy dresses, charmed flowers and other Midsummer magic. We open tomorrow! I'll be back soon.

(No news for the ia groupies, anyway.)

if it's spring...eta

Edited to answer below

..then these sights should soon be a thing of the past. The first picture is right beside my front door. (Note: The fact that I have my own door was important enough to be mentioned in my Russian hs. Rightly so! It's my favorite feature of my current flat.) The second is on the street outside my building.

The red tape is found all over the city right now. It warns you that the storm pipes are melting and may come crashing down. There is another one right outside my bedroom window. The grand whooshing it makes give me a thrill reminiscent of the one brought on by thunder. I love thunder. It reminds me how mighty God is. And melting drainpipes remind me of thunder which, in turn, reminds me of the awesome power of God. Digression. Sorry.

The warning tape also marks melting icicles, snow being shoveled off roofs and generally any falling object that may impale you.

Note there is no red tape on the broken drainpipe. I guess it whooshed too powerfully.

"Spring" is actually a misnomer, Debbie. The season that follows winter is "Mud Season". The city will be filled with and mired in deep, gooey, sticky, smelly mud. Mud Season is followed by "Tourist Season" in St. P which overlaps with "Sleep Deprivation Season" (like basketball and football seasons overlap) in which all American ex-pats walk around like zombies because it never gets DARK here. Good times ahead...

<8! (quite a bit less)

Here's another e-mail for you. This one was in reply to my checking on the estimated wait time and how many families were in line in front of me. I didn't get an answer to the second question, but was very pleased to hear this variation on the previously predicted 3-8 months:

Hi Kate,

Happy belated women's day!...I would say you are looking at closer to 3 months, maybe 4 or 5. It's hard to say at the moment, but I may be able to give a better estimate in a couple of weeks.

M

We could still be home while I'm in my thirties if this holds true!

maslenitsa pix

We started out our day by playing some outside games and then burning the large, straw maslenitsa. While it burned, we circled around (and were supposed to be reciting a poem in Russian...but...). When it collapses, the people it collapses towards will have good luck. It collapsed directly away from me. Good thing I don't believe in luck. Here is the group (grades 1,2 and 4) with the bear and our games guide gathered around the remains of the maslenitsa.
We all went in and ate pancakes together! (Yeah, forgot to take pix...hoping another teacher did.) Then we went inside to make crafts (like the traditional doll that I forgot to take a picture of--come back tomorrow) and play games. In this game, the Papa bird, with the boy birds behind him in a train, flies through the windows which close when the music stops. What ever birds are caught inside become part of the circle.


There was a Mama bird train, too. We also played a game with the boys chasing girls through the circles. The windows open and close trying to protect the girl. In past years, we've sung songs and played other games. Our guide recognized me and commented on what an expert I was on traditional games and songs!

Then we headed out to the slides! There wasn't ice, but we still had a good time. Here are two of the three slides.

It was fun...

...at times painful...

but over all a fantastic experience! Look at the joy on my little SM's (yes, from all the esl stories) face.

We ended the day by climbing on a huge snow pile before our bus ride back to the city. This is my favorite field trip every single year.

Three years closer!

That's 1096 sleeps closer to having d2b home. (Hey-in 15 days it'll be 1111 days. That's a cool one!)

Happy Women's Day!

You know, Women's Day here in Russia is a celebration of all women--married and single, working and not, daughters and mothers and grandmothers, the women of today and the girls who will be the women of tomorrow. Russians don't celebrate Mother's Day. They celebrate all women. I really, really like that.

It was a conscious decision to announce my adoption plans on this day. But, somehow, this anniversary seems even more fitting this year. I think it's one I'll celebrate the rest of my life.

I'm wondering what d2b is doing to celebrate.

re: anybody else?

Good to know I'm not alone at trying to manipulate time.

It's not a depressed, hide-away-until-tomorrow kind of wanting to hurry to bed and then to tomorrow.

It's more like Christmas eve when you go to bed early so that Christmas will come sooner.

Pix tomorrow of our trip to the Russian village (if there are any that are post-worthy).

anybody else?

For a long time now I've hurried home from school and waited for it to be 11 a.m. Eastern time. I check blogs and forums and e-mails (in that elusive and ridiculous quest to know what's going on) and have a little dinner. Then, I check my e-mail. If there's no news then I'm in a hurry for the evening to end, for it to be late enough for me to go to bed. Because as soon as that day, that newsless day, is over another one can begin. That new day is one day closer to d2b. That new day still has the possibility of being a newsful day. And I want to get to that day as soon as I possibly can.

This strange anticipation of 7 p.m. followed by a rush to get the day over and myself to bed is decidedly not typical of me. But, it has become typical of this adoption journey of mine. I just wanted to remember it.

Anybody else have a new cycle to their days during the wait?

February books

Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare

I'm a Shakespeare nut, so directing MSD has given me a good nudge to go back and re-read. Reading (and directing) is, in some ways, better than acting in them because then I get to be everyone!


First Love by Ivan Turgenev

This was sitting unread on my shelf, given to me by friends who were packing out. It's a pretty quick and easy read if you're wanting just a little Russian lit.



Shopaholic & Baby, Undomestic Goddess
by Sophie Kinsella

I was needing some chick-lit and my usual friends-- The Dashwood sisters, the Bennet girls, Bridget Jones and Thursday Next--have all been called upon so frequently of late that I couldn't slip into their worlds. I was thinking ahead to what would happen next instead of losing myself in their stories as they unfolded. I had picked them up and tried, but needed something I knew less well. These two had only had one read apiece and so filled the moment nicely. I am not looking forward to the Shopaholic movie, though. It looks a little flat--with none of the bubble and spark. And, as irresponsible as Americans have proven themselves to be of late, I think Becky's spending (and particularly her reliance on her overdraft) are more British than American. Renee Zellweger was the perfect Bridget Jones. But, she immersed herself in that world. Taking away Becky Bloomwood's UK passport is a big mistake.

Size 12 is Not Fat
by Meg Cabot

Not sure why this image is so big. This book was fine. I could read more in this series. But, I won't read this again. Well...unless I'm desperate. This was (I think) someone's airplane book that got donated to our school library. It's a good airplane book.





Love Happens by Sarah O'Brien

I suspect this is another airplane book. It was very forgettable, neither a good book nor a bad book. It had moments of good...but only moments.



When Will Good News Come by Kate Atkinson

Any guesses as to what drew me to this book? ;> It's a murder, well, not mystery. There's not much mystery to this at all. There are several disparate stories here that don't really come together. It seems to be part of a series, so perhaps I'd've liked it better if I'd read the previous books first. But, maybe not. Several of the characters were likable. I think it would've been a better book if only two of the stories had been in it. There were just too many--and there really didn't need to be.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards

I thought this was a very good book. It was well-written and kept me interested in the characters and their decisions. Like many Opr*h book club books, this was not a happy book. (What's with that? Doesn't she choose any happy books? It's gotten so that if anyone tells me it's an OBC book I just stay away.) But, I thought this was a good read.


North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

I'm not quite finished with this one, but near enough for it to be listed in February and not in March. After my discovery of Wives and Daughters last month, I thought I should give this book another chance. There's no doubt it's a good book, but I just don' t like it as much. It's not as satisfying a read to me, because I don't like the setting as well (Northern manufacturing city as opposed to Southern rural) but it is certainly well-written. It's so nice to be able to trust an author and relax into her written world. I know that she will bring these characters to a satisfying and appropriate end.

I'm surprised to see that I read only fiction this month. Interesting. Next month I'm planning some more Gaskell, and, if they arrive, suggestions from Nif (Austenland) and Debs (Honey for a Woman's Heart). Keep those recommendations coming! The next time you indulge in a browse through your local library, pulling books off the shelf as the covers strike (I do judge books by their covers) and reading the blurb on the back (I hate it when there are only reviews and no blurbs. I don't read those because who would put a bad review on a cover? Worthless.), spare a thought for me.

Oh--I ordered a kindle! So, I should be able to more easily get my hands on books...of a sort. And, I won't have to ship them home. If they're fab, I can always buy a real copy when I"m back. I'm not sure I'll put d2b books on there, though.

Happy reading!

with approval

My friend Kerry e-mailed me after yesterday's news saying:

Yay! Now what?

To which I replied:

Now we WAIT! Woo hoo!
oh.
BUT we wait with approval.

Thank you all for rejoicing with me at this huge milestone...and thank you for continuing to hang out in the waiting place with me. I am overwhelmed by your generosity of spirit.

There's really no telling how long we wait with approval before we hear there's a referral and they register me so I can be referred that referral. The estimate when we *thought* we were approved last summer was 3-8 months for a referral. Then it could be another month or two before court...and another two weeks before I can bring d2b home (via the USA). So, we could possibly have her home by mid-September. That would be before my birthday and would give me the BEST FMLA maternity leave (our autumn is tough at school--no breaks from mid August to the end of October. That'd be nice to miss! We could go back to school after the October break.)

It's possible that my requested age range (4-6 years) will make things go faster. But, I think it could actually slow things down. It seems that so many people want to adopt "under three's". If everyone gets adopted when they are under 3, then there aren't many kiddos who were relinquished at birith left when they're 4-6 years old. And that's a good thing! It's very likely that d2b has been in a family and will be brought to the children's home because of neglect or trauma. I know that--and knew that when I made my age request. We'll just take it one day at a time.

I've had all sorts of people having "feelings" about how things are going to progress from here.

It will be fast.
d2b is plural
It will be this spring.
Twins!

Anyone else have feelings or predictions to share?

Oh--and I forgot leap year when I added up the days before titling the last post. (I was a little scattered.) Yesterday was actually day 1087. Just for the record. ;>

1086 days later...

Hi Kate,

I was going to email you today. Your dossier has been accepted at the MOE, so S is continuing to check in for referrals. I'll be in touch when I hear anything.

M

I'm simply overjoyed and unable to comment on this unexpected and very welcome news!

simple joys

The cupboards are full and the laundry basket is empty.
The dishwasher is running.
There is a cat curled up beside me purring with unselfconscious abandon who has the softest, most stroke-able belly.
I have an excellent book and a LUSH bubble bath calling me upstairs.
It was light on the way to and from school today--and the sun shone!

Those are happy things.

raining and pouring

Things are looking a little grey-er in the world of Russian international adoption.

US homestudy agencies are scrambling to track down missing ppr's and clear their names from the list (link takes you to a page with a downloadable list).

There is a move to standardize the paperwork needed to adopt across all of Russia. That's a BIG country to try to standardize. And, while I don't think this is a bad thing, it is a thing that could slow things down. Changes are being proposed for both international and domestic adoptions. That could mean all new paperwork from me. That gives me a headache.

And, there are e-mails from JCICS that another bill has been presented to the Duma that would put a moratorium on US adoptions. This has been proposed before and nothing has happened. But, it's a little scary every time we hear it.

I e-mailed new agency and asked for confirmation that they had everything they needed. I reminded them that the last time I'd sent everything requested, it was months later that more requests were made. And, I reminded them that all my papers have been in region for weeks now. I said I knew that all this Russia-news had them scrambling, but asked that they didn't forget me! I just think that being officially registered (even though that's not how this region works...) would be a safeguard against the tidal wave that's about to hit.

I was at the orphanage on Friday so, of course, I'm sick today. My sweet V, whose birthday we were celebrating, was SICK! And, while I didn't give her her usual kisses, I feel rotten today.

A little good news would sure go a long way to making me feel better.

do the math

Okay, people. Math time.

I will be 40 this year. FORTY!

I would very much like d2b to be home by then.

That gives us seven months.

Let's keep in mind that my agency thought a referral could take eight months. Then, I'd figure another two or three months for court and the trip to the US and back.

8 + 2 or 3 > 7.

That's more than seven months until we're home. I don't like math.

Things need to get moving. Having the MOE see my dossier would be a good start. S didn't go on Tuesday. Maybe tomorrow?

[Ironically, when I first started making inquiries about adoption I was told I was too young to think about adopting yet. "Choice moms" (though that phrase had yet to be coined) were closer to 40 than 30. I had plenty of time. HA!]

In the meantime, read the post below and celebrate Maslenitsa next week. Happy Spring!

get ready

Next week is Maslenitsa! I'll reprint an old post originally written in 2006 here (it's also over in FAQ's as I get lots of questions about this holiday) for those of you who are new to this Russian holiday. I've seen several posts lately wondering about ways to celebrate the Russian heritage of adopted children. I think this is a great way. It's a neat way to welcome spring. And who doesn't like pancakes? (Ummm...we mean blini here, not American pancakes.)

Old post:

By request of a friend who wanted to celebrate with her adopted child, I'm re-publishing last year's post about Maslenitsa. This is a holiday I look forward to and will continue to celebrate after I'm home in the US.

"We had a BALL at the Russian village today! (2007 note: We're going back on Thursday. 2009 note: We also went last year and are going again this year.) Our entire school went to celebrate Maslenitsa. The village is a living history museum (basically). We participated in folk songs and dances, painted whistles and played traditional games. (2007 trip included ice slides! 2008 was too warm so we had carriage rides instead.) Then we had a lovely meal together--topped off with blini!

Here is what the guide told us about the holiday:

This is a week-long celebration to welcome spring that has been celebrated for hundreds of years.

On Monday: Make two small dolls for your home. One, made of straw and dressed in old, ugly clothes symbolizes winter. The other, of cloth or wood and dressed in fresh, new clothes symbolizes spring. Put these dolls in the window to let friends and neighbors know they are welcome to come in. (2007 note: Your entire house should be cleaned before visitors come. This is another way to say goodbye to the prior year. 2008 note: We made these dolls this year. The girls and boys had a good time making them.)

A large straw doll was made for the entire village as well.

On Tuesday: Whistles are given! Boys get horse whistles (strength) and girls get bird whistles (beauty, ability to rise above and fly). Cat whistles are the sign of a warm and loving family/home and can be given to either sex. The whistles are blown to call the birds back and to cast out sickness.

Wednesday is pancake day! Pancakes are warm and round and yellow like the sun.

On Thursday there is dancing and singing. (We sang songs about how people walked--ladies, grandmas, soldiers...)

Then, on Sunday the straw maslenitsas are burned. This is also the day of atonement. You must ask forgiveness for anyone you've hurt or wronged in the last year and make amends. (2009 note: I think we get to burn the large "scarecrow" this year.)

On this day, people who like winter sing sad songs to mourn its end.

Like most holidays in Russia, there is a mix of pagan, Christian, and Jewish elements. It's easy to see the overlap in these traditions--Lent, Yom Kippur...I think it's perfectly fine to celebrate the fact that God has granted us another spring!"

heads up eta

There is a long list of homestudy agencies who are delinquent in their ppr's whose documentation is no longer accepted by the Russian government. (Completely understandably.)

If your homestudy agency is on that list (check FRUA chat->Russia->Has anybody heard this? ) then I'd start looking for another hs agency. eta: AND if the agency doing your ppr's is on the list, you'll likely need to look for someone else to do them.

Please do them. Post-placement reports (aka your chance to show how fantastic your child is) are so important!

Thankfully, my hs agencies are not on that list. See--there are benefits to my strange hs situation.

No news yet about today's visit--if it happened or what was said. I'll share when I hear.

fwd:

Hi Kate,
No news. When S went to the MOE, they were not dealing with adoptions that day, so he is going to go back this week. I'll keep you updated.
M

I was told the days S goes to the MOE are Tuesdays and Fridays. So maybe tomorrow...

koo koo ri koo

Nothing yet. I don't understand WHY the weekends have to be such a vast pit of silence.

If the regional rep *did* present everything on Friday, why couldn't a quick e-mail have been dashed off to me telling me either yea or nay? And, if he didn't, why couldn't an even quicker e-mail have been sent?

Add to the typical weekend silence the previously mentioned fact that it's Monday evening here before my agency opens shop in the US and my pit of silence grows larger. It gapes, even.

With no school this week, all I'm doing is compulsively checking e-mails and clicking around the web in an irrational quest. Somehow it feels that if I just find the right site I'll find all the answers. I know it's not rational. I know it's not true. But it does niggle.

Speaking of false and irrational, here's what the Chinese (and a few friends) have to say about my upcoming year. Since I think astrology is (at best) a little less accurate than the magic eight ball (and at worst dangerous), I give it little credence. Just for grins, I'll share the all-positive, happy-glowy prediction for my Chinese new year. I will say, this is as easy to apply as "signs point to yes".

Well, I'll share as soon as I say that I'm most disappointed to learn that I'm a rooster of all things. I don't like birds. And ROOSTERS? Ick.

Rooster Outlook for 2009

Rooster Overview

Get ready for an outstanding year. Aside from the Snake, the Rooster has the best prospects in the year of the Ox. This is the kind of year you have been waiting for, as everything seems to go your way. You have been diligently working towards some long term goals that finally come together this year. Your relations are felt at new levels, as you find a sense of satisfaction that you may not have experienced in a long time. Things you may have thought not possible will become a reality for you in this positive year.

Rooster Rating

72% (10 favorable and 2 neutral months)

I am also going to be healthy, signs are good for romance and if I have questions about money I should ask.

I think that the Chinese new year starts in March. Is that right? If so, it sounds like we should have some good news next month! I hope it comes sooner...

(The title of this post is what roosters say in Russia instead of cock-a-doodle-doo.)

eta: The Chinese New Year started 26 January. Let the positivity commence!

wow!

JUST found out that my case is being presented in-region to the MOE today (Friday)! Retroactive prayers and good thoughts appreciated.

kindle?

Anybody kindle? I am torn. I love books--the feel, the smell, the weight. I like paperbacks, not hardbacks. I like to read in the tub and in bed. So, I'm not convinced kindle if for me.

But, I live in Russia. And this would let me get lots more books way fast.

BUT, I don't know anyone who actually has one. Odd, isn't it? They're always sold out and yet NO
ONE has one.

I need personal experiences! Please?

ex-pats and travellers

Hey! Just wondering if any of you have used DTV4PC? I love my slingbox when it's working. But, it hasn't been very reliable. When it's down I rely on iTunes. I've also been watching Channel 131.

Any input about the DTV4PC experience would be appreciated.

Cheers!

Большой CHECK!

My Russian hs is finished and on it's way to the reps in Moscow!

We *love* my Russian social worker.

We *love* DHL who copied the document for me, free of charge, before guaranteeing it, along with my entire dossier, would be in Moscow tomorrow. Tomorrow!

And, we're quite fond of my international sw right now. She says we don't need to do an update. New agency might be persuaded by her experience (much) in the world of ex-pat adoption over theirs (none, it turns out). Might. Hope. Pray.

Insert those happy pink elephants dancing -->here.

aeroflot reservations?

Let me begin by saying that I have flown Aeroflot internationally and I really *like* flying Aeroflot. The seats are big and comfy, the food is quite decent, and I get tickled at everyone clapping when the plane lands.

But. An article in the Moscow Times highlighted an incident that happened in December. Passengers,suspecting their pilot was drunk, wanted a new crew. After all

"I don't think there's anyone in Russia who doesn't know what a drunk person looks like," said Katya Kushner, who, along with her husband, was one of the first to react when the pilot made his announcement. "At first, he was looking at us like we were crazy. Then, when we wouldn't back down, he said, 'I'll sit here quietly in a corner. We have three more pilots. I won't even touch the controls, I promise.'"

As passengers waited three hours for a new crew to board the plane, more than 100 of them signed a statement saying they believed that Cheplevsky was intoxicated.

At the same time, an Aeroflot representative sought to assure them that "it's not such a big deal if the pilot is drunk."

"Really, all he has to do is press a button and the plane flies itself," the representative said. "The worst that could happen is he'll trip over something in the cockpit."

I found this hilarious. And don't doubt it for a minute!

(A tv personality got on the phone, passengers signed a petition, and they got a new crew. Apparently a blood alcohol test is not included in the battery of pre-flight tests that a pilot undergoes.

radio oracle

You never know what is going ot play on Radio Heat. It's a mostly-English..or Demi-English radio station here. But they're playlist seems to be a lot like my reading list (aka-anything in English). We get random songs I've never heard (Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen--which is one of my second graders favorite songs, btw), old Michael Jacksonand George Michael, some UK pop (I love you, baby, but , baby, she's Madonna; No man on earth would say that he don't wanna). It's...eclectic.

I woke up this morning to a song that was composed of the repeated phrase, I'm with you, followed by a Blondie remake-The tide is high but I'm holdin gon..I'm not the kinda girl who gives up just like that.

Prophetic? Could be...