the day the music died

Today, for some reason, is the day that I am OVER Russia. I'm done. Finished.

Lexi's sick. We have no car. We had rides to and from the doctor kindly provided, but...bleh. We need groceries. I forgot her snowpants so she couldn't go out today. It's bitterly cold. It's dark. I have students absent and had another visiting. I'm tired and probably getting whatever Lexi has. All my sick days are gone.

Kindergarten is stressful. Having my child in a class where I do not agree with the teacher on how children should be taught, disciplined, and treated is incredibly stressful. Having baby steps taken when I want something done is stressful. There is a very easy solution to part of this problem that is not being taken for political reasons. And I think those reasons are ridiculous and entirely without merit.

And the GSO at the consulate called my principal to say that I needed to be taking care of the police report on the car myself.

That, somehow, just did it for me.

Being told, weeks after the fact, that I needed to find a way to the local police station, without a car, with my sick child in tow, to ask for and fill out forms in Russian--which I cannot do--before 1 February when the price will double, just did it.

During my stint here I've gone from Wow! to Interesting. to occasional grumbles to, today, clicking my heels three times. I've been here for 4 1/2 years. When I tell other ex-pats that, their eyes grow big and they either inhale or exhale loudly. It's a long time. I know that there are blog readers who would love to be here that long, or think that they'd love to be here that long. And, I did enjoy the adventure in the beginning. I'm grateful to have been given this opportunity. I've learned so much.

But as of today, I'm finished.

I just have to find a way to be cheerful as I trudge through the time I have left. That's a good way to describe life in Russia. One neither skips nor glides. One doesn't sing and dance along the streets. One trudges. It's just a hard place to live. And, that "hardness" isn't limited to ex-pats. Nothing is easy here. Nothing. I'm just thankful that, although it will be a little while longer, I will be able to leave and come home.

updated 30 January to add: The driver from school didn't make his run to the consulate. Again. Which means all the paperwork that I need to take with me today (colleague from school is very kindly driving and translating) to the militsia to get a piece of paper that says that they haven't/can't do anything about recovering the lost plates so that new ones can be issued is still at the consulate. So, it looks like today is not going to be the day we get things started. And, the prices for new plates "doubles" on 1 February from 3575 r to...they don't know what. It could be 5000r. It could be 7000. It could be more.

It's hard to explain why this is all so taxing. Yes, it's incredibly inconvenient. But, it's the attitude of people around me that is most wearing. There is a sort of general apathy, an expectation that things are and always will be difficult, combined, in some people, with a vague...hostile, jealous resentment. Being the constant target of that, for no reason other than my nationality, is wearing.

And, it's knowing that while a trip to the DMV is never fun, all this would have been easily taken care of in a day in the US. I haven't driven since 21 December.

We need groceries. No car means more frequent trips, higher prices, carrying everything home and poor produce. Making these grocery runs on foot in the snow and ice and slush with my little helper is not fun.

We need medicine. The doctor Rx'd 7 days of @ugmentin for Lexi (shouldn't it be 10-14?) but only gave us 5 days' worth. ???? So I need an apteka within walking-distance-for-a-six-year-old who will give us more.

These two errands--groceries and medicine--will take an entire day.

The school year is half-finished. Only.

And, on top of all this, I've got some big decisions rattling around in my little head. Those will remain personal, but, boy, do they rattle!

loot

*photo removed*

We found this and a teeny-tiny note under Lexi's pillow this morning!

Dear Lexi,
You were such a good, brave girl to pull out your wiggly tooth. Now a new, big, strong tooth can grow. Here is a special present because it was your first loose tooth.

Love,
the tooth fairy

loose tooth!

Yep--we have one. It's one of the teeny-tiny bottom teeth. I can't imagine the root is very big either, so I expect it to come out soon.

Stay tuned...

Update!
*photo removed*

Yep. It's gone. She did it all herself. (Yes, it's a little dry around here right now.)

She's a little concerned that her tooth is "broken" but is excited about the possibility of a new, strong tooth coming. I'm a little worried that she thinks the tooth fairy is bringing the new tooth tonight.



These are the things that make me angry. Can you imagine how little nutrition she was getting to grow a tooth this size? This one is smaller than the one still in her mouth.

four months

I can't believe it's been four months! That sounds so much longer than three months.

Here she is toughing out a cold by hanging out in Mama's classroom. The yearbook needed a picture...so I took this. (Love both this top and this sweater!)

Four months home and I begrudge every moment she has to spend away from me.

Height: 113 cm
Weight: debatable-Doctor says 18 kg. (39.6 lbs.)
Our scale says 18.4-19 kg. (40.5-42 lbs.)

I think our inconsistent scale is closer. She certainly feels more solid.

Doctor says she's in 3% for height and weight.


She continues to love to paint, draw, dance, sing, and READ. Favorite books are still Piglet and Mama and Loving. New favorites are The Little Engine That Could, A book with The Three Bears, The Little Red Hen and The Three Pigs, and It's a Good Thing You're Not an Octopus. Oh, and Green Eggs and Ham. And...

Yesterday

Lexi was still sick so we left school at lunchtime (I had a parent observing in the morning) and took a taxi to the doctor. They wouldn't treat her--even with my insurance card and even though I've been seen there myself in the past-- b/c I didn't have a credit card with me. So we took a taxi home. Total cost of 3 taxis that day: 1100r.

The consulate motorpool called and said that 1. my battery had cracked in half due to the cold and 2. they'd take my car to the dmv equivalent next week. I guess that means another week of taxis in the morning and waiting until 4:30 for the bus in the afternoons. Long and expensive days.

A woman persisted in trying to deliver a telegram to me. She eventually gave up after much explaining that I didn't understand, speak Russian, expect a telegram, or know what to do. Curious, though, 'cause telegrams are so romantic, I asked the concierge later what it was all about. It wasn't for me. The persistent woman simply had the wrong address.

also on the playground

Here is the slide yesterday after school. (She's there, Essie. See? At the top.) Yes, we still play outside unless it's colder than -25C. Then you have the option of staying in, but it's merely an option. The Russian schools close when it's either -20C or -25C. We. never. close.

Personally, I think -20 is a small price to pay for blue skies. BLUE SKIES!!!

Here is Lexi demonstrating how to slide down the new slide extension:

Older kids tell me the key is to spring up when you hit the end of the slide (aka jam into the ice) and just flop onto your belly. Lexi is too little and has to stand up and then dive into her penguin move.

Below is one of the shoveled-out swings. You can almost sit on that one without touching snow. Well, Lexi can. I doubt the hold would same true for me.

An article in the St. Petersburg Times (the second one in less than a month) about the deplorable road-clearing. Apparently the mayor said the crews better get busy or they could "knit socks" in the evenings rather than be employed. Sure enough, last night they towed all the cars off my street (mine was already gone) and cleared the road. Yes, we woke up at 0-dark-thirty and watched it. It was a nice break in the nightmares.

I think Dimet@pp night time cold and cough (yes, she's sick again) might have made them worse. Possible?

from the playground

"My mom says Lexi doesn't even look Russian. She just looks American."

I told them it was all in the clothes. ;>

noisy on the inside

Lexi, overstimulated, darts around the room, running and shouting, unable to focus on getting dressed to go out and play.

Boy in kindergarten: Why is Lexi so crazy?

Me: You know what, Sash? When it's really noisy around Lexi, she feels noisy inside and just can't make herself be quiet. That's when she needs some quiet around her so that she can feel quiet on the inside.

And I said it in front of the kindergarten teacher.

I've asked principal if I can go in and explain that to the whole class.

daily grind

For ONCE the...peculiarities of how-Russia-deals-with-all-things-car may work in my favor.

Here is my car as seen from our window--no license plates, dead battery. It's been shoveled out twice. And the piles of snow on either side are at least as high as the car.

Here is something interesting happening across the street.

Wait, I'll open the windows.

I *think*, I mean, it looks to me, like they've picked up this car, put it on the tow truck, and are shoveling out the snow on that side of the street. I'm guessing that's where the car was parked and that they'll return it when they finish. That would be GREAT!

Of course, they've been working on that same little patch for over two hours now...so by the time they get to me, it might be June and thawed.

**eta: That's exactly what they did--cleared the street and then put the car back. Now if they'll just come over HERE...

(Kind, kind motorpool workers at the consulate are coming Tuesday to shovel, start, and try to get plates for my car. I'm leaving them a little gifty in the front seat. See--I've figured this system out.)

And, below, is the slide as we saw it first thing last Monday as we arrived for school. Can you see? Since then, the kiddos have carved it out so that you can slide about halfway down. Then, if you jump just right, you can slide on snow the rest of the way down. Or, you can hop off and go back up the half-flight of stairs.


Kindergarten? Bleh. Not making my little bunny feel safe and happy.

I made the kindergarten teacher cry. (Which was probably a good thing, because that means that she finally heard a little of what I've been saying about effect of the noise and disorder in her classroom.) And, days later, she says having Lex in class (and, I infer, having me on her case about Lex being in class) is so much stress that she's having chest pains and may need to go into hospital. (eyeroll)

I am doing my best to remember that while I need to be polite, her well-being and happiness is not my responsibility. Lexi's is. The end.

quips

New circus-cat training methods include many, many repetitions of:

Come on, Mia. Jump. You LIKE to jump. (Hmmm...sounds a lot like "You like cheese.") You do. You like to jump. Come on. Come ON.

Mia, we don't say no to Mama. We say, "Yes, Mama."

(And, no, neither of us has seen trained cats in a circus. Well, I've seen trained big cats, as in lions and tigers back in the day, but I doubt she has. This is all Lexi.)


This morning before seven:

"Mama, are you sleeping? Are you asleep? Are you sleeping? Are you off? Yep."

guest blogger

key: Lexi's comments. (Mama's comments.) LEXI'S TYPING.


I do typing.
(What are you going to type?)
I going type some numbuhs and ledduhs.

L for Lexi! LLLLLL

Where is "C is for Cookie"? C C CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

K for Kristina! KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Now C is for Cookies. LLLLLLLLLL (That's an L. For Lexi.)KKKKKK (That's a K.)KKKKKKKKK(That's a K, Lex. For Kristina. Not a C.)KKKKKKKKKKKKK(No cookies?)Nope.KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Where's M for Mama? mmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

The letter W! WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCDCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

(How about some numbers? They're over here.) Let's count!
one 1111111111111111111111111111111
twoooo 222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222
three 3333333333333333333333333333
where is four? Four!4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444
Fi-yev. (Five.) Fivvvve.555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555
(Six?) Seven. (What about six?) 7777777777(No sixes?) No. Seven. 7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

Monkey! GGGGGGGG (Mon-Oh! Gorilla! Right! Very good.) GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

project 52

One of my online blogpals and kindred spirits took up the challenge of posting (nearly) a picture a day in 2010 and threw down the gauntlet for the rest of us to follow suit.

I love to take pictures, and would like to think that I'd post a photo a day, and am intrigued to see what this revealed.

But I know I wouldn't.

I wouldn't lug my big ol' camera around every day. I'd get sick of pictures of school and recovering from school. And that's pretty much life. But, it's not really how I want to SEE my life. (Allow me my illusions.)

Do you know what high achievers do when, for example, playing PIG on the basketball court? They find their outer limit and then take one step in.

So. I am going to post a photo a WEEK in 2010. In a completely new place. And I'm going to do my best to have it NOT be simply photos of my gorgeous daughter. Those you'll still find here.

And, who knows? I may actually exceed the 52 pictures planned for 2010. Or, the challenge my lie in finding THE photo to sum up the week.

Or it may be a big cop-out and said friend is just being kind in encouraging me to participate in this divided-by-seven manner.

Thanks, friend.

goal setting

Lexi has decided to train Mia for the circus. (See Christmas pictures below.) Mia's got an impressive standing jump of about five feet, so you can see the possibilities.

Today she was trying to teach Mia to jump on the trampoline. Her teaching strategy relies too much on...bossing Mia around and too little on rewards and incentives. And she's trying to train Mia.

While I was cooking dinner (such as it was), all I heard was,

Come on, Mia. Come on, Mia. Come ON, Mia. Come on, Mia. Jump. Jump. JUMP. Come ON, Mia, jump! Jump. Come on, Mia. Come ON, Mia.

Over and over again, while Lexi flicked Mia's toy at the trampoline while hanging over the back of the couch.

Mia hasn't learned to jump on the trampoline, but Lexi remains hopeful that they will, indeed, be in the circus. Apparently their gimmick is that Lexi, the cat trainer, will be doing gymnastics on the ropes above the circus while directing Mia's tricks. Those tricks will likely include a trampoline, but she's willing to consider other tricks.

what passes for news

Update for all you hair-obsessed blog readers:

We had a haircut last week (I just undercut and evened things out in the back--but didn't touch all the growing-out layers on top) and it is looking much more kempt. It's amazing to me, who has very different hair, how much maintenance this hair requires! I *may* be hm in some ways, but not when it comes to hair. Hers, at age six, has to have product in it (it's the Pantene stuff that looks like it's in a glue bottle--and came free with some shampoo sometime) and has to be blow-dried until it's bone-dry, which takes for.ev.er., after it's shampooed. If not--I'm in for wrestling matches in the mornings until we shampoo again in a day or two. A spray bottle isn't enough. It needs to be doused and dried.

Speaking of dry...I forwent (How can that be right? What else could it be?) skipped her usual Suave kids tonight and used some LUSH Rehab and Retread on her. Her hair smells wonderful and is SO shiny and healthy. I'd wait and put pix up tomorrow, but...

...we have big news! TODAY was the day the front pieces were long enough to stay in a French braid. Yesterday, no. Today, YES! How cute is this?

*photos removed*

Obviously, so cute that, once again, you're getting multiple photos when one would do. She was such a little model today--changing poses with every click. It cracked me up. She's never done that before. (Good thing she and ANTME won't be competing in the same season. Wink!) What a sweet little goofball.

blue tape

So here's what I did this morning: I put bits of blue painter's tape on all my clean clothes. (And they're nearly all clean.)

Why?

I have entirely too many clothes. Seriously. I have six grey cardigans. Six. Sure, they range in shades of grey. Some are cotton. Some are cashmere. Some are long-sleeved and at least one is short-. But do I really need six? Hmm..maybe I actually do.

But that's just the example. I also have too many other cardigans, tee-shirts [Some have been infected with toxic sweat (I would link you to that post about the toxicity of sweat in Russia, but the search blog feature has stopped working on my blog. Why?) and I forget which ones until I put them on...and then for some insane reason I wash them! Why do I not just throw. them. out.? I will. really.] and various clothes that I rarely wear.

There are also clothes that don't fit. Not many that I've hung on to, but a few. Because, you know what? I was right to doubt (scoff, laugh hysterically at, generally berate the faster metabolisms of...) everyone who said the adoption weight would "just fall off when I had a little one home to chase around".

Um, no. I'm so tired, that I've got a Coca-Cola drip set up from awakening to quiet time. (Not really, but I'm drinking too much of it and/or tea. I'm not enough of a grown-up to like coffee.) Sugar, sugar, sugar. Better than @sp@rt@me, but certainly the lesser of two evils. And, we do much more sitting than running around both on the floor--doing puzzles, playing games, dressing Baby--and at the table--coloring, painting, playing with clay.

And I wasn't walking the 2+ miles daily to get to and from school, because we weren't in school. Of course we went for walks. But, nearby walks are all in our polluted, damp, dark city. So, we weren't walking every day. Now we're in school...but we drive. It's too much for little legs to do round-trip. Maybe in the spring. And there's not much life after school. That's all we do--school, recover, repeat.

But I *like* those clothes that don't fit. I like the way I looked then, even if I didn't realize it at the time. So even though I'm much bigger now, I'm not ready to give them up. But I know I should.

So--the tape. I thought if I was scientific about it, if there were empirical data, it might make it easier to part with some things. Every time I wear something, I'll take off the tape. (I really hope I remember to take the tape off. Elsewise I'll look mighty foolish.) Then, after a period of time as yet undetermined (Six weeks, maybe? But what about the springy-stuff? Spring comes at the end of May. That's more than six weeks. Hence, the "undetermined".), I'll bite the bullet and donate the still-taped clothing.

So, that's my little moment of productivity today. Oh--and I started to add tucks to the hem of Lexi's coming-home dress (which was even too short for my taste when we came home) so she can wear it longer. But. That is one looooooong hem (as in, it's a very full dress) and I need to make more. Bleh.

I was a very productive girl! Of course, I didn't get in as many games of Memory as I usually do. I'm off to take care of that now.

And my poor, pitiful little friend who's been puny all day has just developed a fever. We have one more week off school...I hope we're healthy.

discussion-best photo book site

I want to begin creating photobooks of each year for Lexi and I. I'll order two copies--one for us to enjoy and one for her to take with her when she moves out on her own.

The question is: Shutterfly or snapfish? Or someone else?

Shutterfly did my announcements. They had better lay-outs for the cards. Or, maybe I should say, they had lay-outs I liked better. I'm really happy with how the announcements/holiday cards look.

Which site is best for archiving pictures (So I can delete by iPhoto library after putting it on cd. Scary.) and creating photo books? Why? Any horror stories? Can I add text?

Chime in!

Happy New Year

i'm just saying

I intend to say twenty-ten

and not two thousand ten
or the even worse two thousand and ten.

Anyone else?

Yes, I do think about these things. Because, you know, I might be called upon to offer my opinion to the world or the blogosphere. It's kateish.

And I still think the last decade ought to be called the oughts.

plates in question

I just e-mailed this to Essie, and thought it might be of interest to other readers new to the car saga:

I have red, diplomatic plates on my car. The head of the consulate motorpool says it's pretty common to have them stolen--that even white plates get stolen often. (Who knew? Not me. I thought it was pretty ballsy for them to steal red plates and that there'd be big trouble if they were caught.)

They're starting the process now--and looking into a temporary plate (unheard of) or a stamped letter of permission to drive (also unheard of) at my request. Both seem like good ideas...

The consulate is open today and tomorrow and then is closed for the next week. So let's hope something gets started or even sorted (a girl can hope) in the next two days.

A friend had his (red) plates stolen over the summer. (It took him 5 weeks to get new ones.) He said someone told him that it might be people trying to get goods across the border--use the dip plates once, leaving immediately after you've taken them so they're not yet reported stolen, and then discard them.

He's been stopped to prove he has dip privileges just while driving around with his new plates, so it must be becoming more of an issue.

further adventures of car

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I didn't blog about the day-long saga that led to the discovery of a failed ignition coil.

Or the trip to pick it up on a late Saturday morning--by foot and metro--in which Lexi and I were charged by barking dogs (leashed and muzzled, fortunately, but still scary) and saw more staggering drunks than I ever have in one place.

That's all sort of old-hat.

But this. THIS.

Setting the scene: Snow is very, very deep. It's been snowing for a week now and it's over two feet deep. (It's not good for playing as it's too deep and doesn't stick. AND there's no where to sled nearby.)

We went out to go shopping and found that the car handle had been messed with, which left the interior light on, which drained the battery. Not fun, but par for the course. We (consulted with the principal) decided to wait until the roads cleared a bit more (Ploughs aren't running for some reason. Monday a week ago, when it all started, we were shopping. A trip that takes 20 minutes with no traffic, and about an hour with traffic, took THREE AND A HALF hours. So we've been content to stay home and let the snow bury the car.) to call the service to have it jumpstarted.

We called today to schedule a time tomorrow morning. Service is not working until after 5 January. Welcome to Russia.

Another service will come, but you can't book ahead. We planned to call tomorrow.

Ever-helpful principal shoveled my car out.

And discovered I have no license plates.

This is a big headache. BIG. I don't even know how big yet. It will involve trips to the consulate and the local police station. Made, of course, without my car. And it takes AGES to sort out new plates. A colleague's plates were stolen this summer and it was months before he had new ones. Groan.

No, there is no such thing as a temporary tag.

And Lexi and I will have to walk to and from school...or take a taxi every day. I'd guess taxi there and walk home.

But it keeps all of you entertained.

Stay tuned.

yawn

I have not had a full night's sleep in over three months. Neither have I had a satisfactory nap in that time.

While I'm not nearly as exhausted as I was at four weeks, I. am. tired.

official joy

*announcement removed*

Wishing you a Christmas filled with joy and wonder.

-Kate and Lexi

three months

She regularly talks to Mr. Hooper on the phone.

"I can't to-cide." is my current favorite mis-pronounce. Decisions are hard. ;>

Baby Chicken is still with us quite often. She regularly wants to swim in Lexi's drink at mealtimes and is chastised accordingly.

Her doll has gone, in three months, from being Malishka (little one) to Kookla (doll) to Dochka (daughter) back to Kookla to Baby.

I love to hear her pray.

She still considers every decision quite seriously (I want...tak, tak, tak...)and then vehemently chooses (THIS one!).

She thinks Santa will bring her chocolate and a puzzle.

She is currently enjoying her "terrible two's" and is experimenting with all forms of "no". (Another thing for which we can thank her kindergarten.) She has been quick to learn that when Mama tells you do something you say, "Yes, Mama." and obey. The rest of the time she can enjoy being all no-ing.

Our refrain of "This isn't the orphanage, it's OUR home." has come out of retirement in a slightly altered "This isn't kindergarten, it's OUR home."

Our favorite books this week are Piglet and Mama (We quite often have the piglet calling "Mama" around here followed by the refrain, "But Piglet wanted HER Mama." Both the role of Piglet and the role of narrator performed by Lexi. Mama makes a cameo appearance as Mama Pig at the end.) and Loving (which I highly recommend and is better, in our opinions, than the similar book Families. I get a little uncomfortable with the pc nature of Families. It lists foster families and adoptive families as kinds of families...but it sort of creeps me out. And it says that all children everywhere have a family. And we know that's not true. Lexi prefers Loving because it has a picture of a boy's behind as he is bathed. In fact, the subtitle of Lu-vin' for a long time was "The Popochka Book".)

Really and truly, she is a bright spark, a near-constant delight, and a complete joy. And, yes, she really is this cute.

*photos removed--black dress*

I know these are blurry. I didn't want to use a flash, and when Lexi smiles, she smiles with her whole body. Be still and smile? Just can't be done. I just love them--blurs and all. I think the first one is my favorite. Or the first two. Or the first row. Or the first nine...

What prompted these smiles? Christmas, milkshakes, zucchini (which she loves and thinks is the funniest.word.ever), ice cream and Kipper.

(Am very surprised Dior hasn't contacted me about a photo campaign after I sent them her photo. Or Lands End, after the excellent, albeit accidental, product placement in the singing-in-the-park post.)

stats for the record:
height: 112.5 cm (44.3 in)
weight: 40.5 pounds

quickie

We are sick.

School is hard.

Her teacher is...not ideal. Or even close. Looking at options and weighing the benefits of being in my school with being in a structured, disciplined, learning classroom. The problem is, there really aren't any English-speaking kindergarten options--the Christian school has a K/1 split (which I don't think is what she needs--she needs a solid year of K, but...). The Montessori School is "selective". And then there's our school. That's it.

Continuing to talk to the teacher and the principal. Am not the only unhappy parent. Fortunately, am not the only unhappy parent who is willing to speak to the school and not just grumble.

As a parent, I'm awed anew by the responsibility I have as a teacher.

The students all, grades 2-12, treat her like a rock star. They're so glad she's home! Her time out of the classroom is good.

We are both beyond happy to be spending the day at home in our pajamas. I, the only being in the flat with a concept of time, am luxuriating in the fact that we have three. whole. weeks. at home. Bliss.

That's the extent of my stamina. Back to Sesame Street, Silly Sally, raspberry tea with lemon and honey and a stuffy, phlegmy little girl.

p.s. SW visit was fine. Lex wouldn't speak English and sw was too familiar (kissed her and was all touchy until I took Lexi away and said, "only for Mama"). Lex wasn't best pleased, but is fine. SW will come every three months for the next three years. Or as long as we're here. Must inform her of our travel plans out of the country. Also am expected to take Lex to the doctor every three months to be weighed and measured.

post-placement visit

My first post-placement visit with my Russian social worker is scheduled for next Tuesday. I will have visits from her every three months.

I have been told to have proof of medical insurance ready and to be prepared to demonstrate how independent Lexi is. One thing in particular we have to demonstrate is that Lexi can eat with a spoon independently.

We also have to register Lexi here in St. P. This is not an easy task. I say "we" but actually think this is a kindness-of-stangers thing. I don't think I can do it at. all.

We actually bumped into the sw today while we were out fruitlessly searching for plain, brown tights. (Note to all of you who say to go ahead and buy a Christmas dress: If only it were that easy! Dresses here are...not to my taste--and everything is expensive. A Christmas Day dress means I need to make one. But, we were at the fabric store to find something to make Lexi a stocking and, let me just say, no. This, "the best" fabric store has little in the natural fiber category and lots of acrylic and sparkle. I do have some lovely material from India we used for fairy costumes last year...) She's so nice and is always friendly. This is the first time she's seen Lexi. Lexi blanked out at her greeting and "how are you" in Russian. Lex is supposed to answer some interview questions...

One of our Russian speaking friends will be here to translate for both of us!

do you see what i see?

Do you see what's in Lexi's hand? It's a baby chicken!
She's been carrying it around all. day.
She even carried it the .75 mile to church this morning.

When we went to school for our conference, my middle school drama girls (I love those girls) proclaimed, "She looks just like Pixie from Peter Pan!" and took us down to see--and TOUCH--the baby chicken they'd just hatched.

I'm so glad to know my big girls will be watching out for my little girl in the mornings.

(And how much do I love this dress? SOOooo much! I decided that Christmas dresses should be worn all during advent. But now I sort of want a dress *just* for Christmas day. Hmm...)

six days to school

Starting school next Thursday.

Did a quick staff orientation last Tuesday.

Meeting with teachers today.

Neither of us is excited--though I'm faking it big time.

(Thought it better to remain in school's good graces and be seen as co-operative just in case I need something in the future. Love and Logic deposit.)

She starts Thursday. Monday they celebrate Santa Lucia. Tuesday is pajama day. Wednesday is the Winter Concert. Friday is a Christmas party. I'm tired already.

Off to watch Sesame Street. La di da di da...What's the name of that song?

I asked

Lexi, "What are you thinking?"

Without missing a beat she emphatically replied, "Ice cream!"

(This was awhile back but it still makes me giggle. I have no doubt it was true.)

decorations

We've started decorating for CHRISTMAS!

giving thanks

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

When we sit together at the table
and my little girl takes my hands
to say this simple prayer,
either with me or by herself or listening raptly,
I have a thankful and happy heart.

Hoping your heart is the same--today and always.

Happy thanksgiving.

perfect setting

I thought today's misty walk through the park would be a perfect setting for a photo. It wasn't raining, the light was diffused, the park was empty...

Lexi thought it was a perfect setting to burst into song.
(Well, she is, after all, my daughter.)

Mist-inspired songs about people who were so sad and crying and the sky commenced. And, you know, songs about trees and babies and the tired man sit, sit, sit on the bench because he is tired, tired, tired...and whatever caught her eye and her consciousness.





Fortunately, the artist threw a bone to her fans. (Hmm...that seems to imply that we, her fans, are dogs.)

FMLA?

Did your employer count your trips prior to custody being granted as part of your FMLA?

If not, tell me how you managed that! If we don't count trip one and court, Lexi and I can stay home until after Christmas vacation.

That would an amazing gift.

And it makes sense to me as there was no child for FMLA to be applied to until I had custody...

But my school has been SO GOOD to me, that I don't want to kick up a fuss.

Cheers! I'm being summoned to "lunch". (Jenga block pies and water served in IKE@ toy dishes on a stool covered in Kookla's blanket. Yummy. Koosna!)

i confess

i'm a handwashing hypocrite.

daytime:
yes, Yes, YES! Did you wash your hands? With soap? WARM water?

between the hours of going-to-bed and the-first-number-is-seven:
Nooo. It's night. (Don't do anything that might wake you up further!!)

i heard lexi telling her doll (they were playing bedtime, a favorite game) that it was night. we don't need to wash hands at night.

umm...well...

two months

111 cm., 40 pounds

still just as amazing,
brave,
awe-inspiring,
trusting,
good-natured,
imaginative,
pleasant,
delightful,
and beloved as ever

if not more so

(If only there were some natural light so I could capture her likeness better. Ah, well, March will be here soon enough.)

i just love

that this is Lexi's favorite shop window.

It's near our house and we pass it often. We stop and check "the girls" every time. Their outfits are changed frequently, and Lexi always chooses an outfit for herself and one for me. We look at the jewelery. We admire the shoes. And we are so glad that these girls, as opposed to many shop-window displays, have heads!

Don't you think Dior should mount a campaign around this photo?

attachment-regression

So, the top e-mails topics re:blogging are

1. Good for you for not blogging during this time!
2. Good for you for not blogging during this time, but could you just post about regression?
3. Good for you for not blogging during this time, but could you just post about sleeping/eating?

Hmm...well...I can meet you halfway.

I think we all know that regression occurs in individuals in times of stress. But, I wasn't sure that it would work as a verb--that you could regress someone.

Not really time to devote to this, but I can cut and paste. Here are a couple of e-mails I sent people about regression.

Kathy commented:

I can't remember if I asked you this. Anya is 7 (just a little older than Lexi) so a lot of what you are doing is very interesting to me. I have never considered giving her a bottle...help me through that. Is that something Lexi took well? I am just thinking about Anya, and with her it seems everything is "Mommy, I am a big girl". Just wondering....

I replied:

Whole post coming on this, because I think it's fascinating.

I was worried about the same thing. But, I present everything as a game--"You be the little bird." when I feed her. The pacifier was refused the first time I offered it, but I just left it out. Soon it was in her mouth. When I was rocking her to sleep that first night, her little mouth was going just like an infant's, sucking in her sleep. So...it made sense.

I don't offer a bottle, but she asks for one sometimes. I had it out for her to feed her doll with. Then, I asked one time (okay, so I did offer) if she wanted a bottle. Again, indignant refusal. But later she wanted to be my baby (this happens in *short* spurts and then she's off again) and wanted a bottle. She usually wants this when she's sleepy, so it's around nap or bed.

It's interesting that she only does this with me. I took the pacifier on the airplane thinking she'd find it helpful on take-off, landing, and getting to sleep. She wouldn't use it at all. So, don't worry that Anya will be heading to school with a pacifier.

Does that help? While we both know that it's actually more, we treat the feeding and bottles as a game. The paci stays under her pillow. Sometimes we rock with it. But, if she's asked for a bottle, she doesn't need/want the pacifier.

The bottle has been a stress-reliever. I don't think it will last long. I do think it will recur--like when school starts.

I hope this helps!
Kate

(p.s. to Kathy--I think that "I'm a big girl." comes from being told she's a big girl--as in you are capable of doing this so don't bother me with it--in the orphanage. I think she'll take just as much delight in being your baby as she does in being capable and helpful. Lexi doesn't spend all day "regressed". It just happens in spurts. Of course, she was coming from an orphanage where she was among the oldest children there. A is among the youngest now, which could make things radically different. And, A & L have very different histories. So, who knows? I just hope *something* we're doing helps you down the line.)

My friend, Jen, commented about the bottle when I mentioned it in a post:

Did she have a bottle at the orphanage? Because you have done so much preparing, I assume this is something recommended. Is it for attachment? Please enlighten someone who knows nothing about adoption.

I replied:

Hey, Nif! It's an attachment thing. It's not something that I force on her. She has a lot of regression at night. And, when she's under stress, there is more. She asks to be my baby then--and just wants me to cradle her and coo at her. That's often a bottle time--and it's usually before bed.

People talk a lot about regressing a child for attachment. I've been amazed at how much she wants it--there's no making her do this. She likes to be fed like my little bird, to be my baby, to have me take care of all her dressing and...wiping. I thought at six there might be some resistance to this. I was so wrong!

I've tried to write a post on attachment, but it's just too big! I think I might to a series on it. (Like I'm some real writer or something...but whatever.) It will bore some people to tears, but I think it's important and interesting.

Thanks for asking!!

Love,
Kate

So, quick wrap-up on regression (feel free to ask me to elaborate... and I'll try to later): I think if you're ready for it, it will just happen. If you're open to it and present the opportunity for it, you child will lead the way. If they think you're crazy, and refuse, then don't push it. But, if they want to "play baby" and get in those developmental activities, (All of these activities teach important things and help an infant to bond with his parent. It shows that a parent is not only loving and responsive, but is capable and provides. Rocking with a bottle, and cooing and snuggling while you do it, is provides more than sustenance. Remember Harlowe's experiment with the monkeys? Levine and Meany's experiments with rats who were separated from their mothers? I'm pretty sure those were gen psych and not further into the degree...) I think it can only be for good.

Hmm...there are times, actually, when she's over-tired and I know that a bottle or some rocking would help things and she's *said* she doesn't want to, but I do it anyway. I just tell her that I want to rock. I scoop her up and rock her, holding the bottle with my chin so I can snuggle her with one arm and stroke her cheek with the other hand.

So, I guess I do push it a little. But, it's something that's already started. There's precedence. And, there are times when I need to say, "You cannot push me away. You ARE my baby, forever, and I am going to take care of you." It's hard to explain the difference, but so easy to feel it. And her "I-don't-want" disappears immediately.

You'll know.

fair warning

I have a month left of staying home with Lexi.

You may get some quips and snaps in the next month.

But I'm not even promising that.

It might be really quiet here on the blog, but rest assured it's not at our house. And I want to savor that--without thinking about anything else.

Mwah!

gourmet

A few nights ago I was asking Lex what she wanted for dinner. She'd had a late snack and was not interested in the leftovers in the 'fridge. I was not interested in cooking. So I went to the failsafe...

"Kasha? And yogurt?"

"Yes! Kasha. Kasha apple."

And she began rooting around in the different oatmeal boxes. Since I happen to like the apple kasha, it's gone. I was explaining that we didn't have any, but we had a million others when she pulled out a box of cereal. (Fitness. Do you have it in the US? It's just flakes, but they're a *little* sweetened.)

Explaining that although it looked like the apple kasha box, it wasn't, I pulled out a piece of cereal and gave it to her.

Her face lit up. "Chips!" she said rapturously. (Mama has said repeatedly that we don't need chips when shopping. Now Lexi understands why. We have chips!)

So Lexi had chips for dinner. And apple slices.

She pronounced this dinner, "Koosna, Mama!" unasked and all my pride in recent, colorful, well-balanced meals flew out the window. Forget the chicken chili with tomatoes and corn muffins we had last night. (And forget how precious the corn muffins are since you can't buy cornmeal or muffin liners here.) Just give her dry cereal.

(Actually, don't forget it. Just leave the tomatoes off it and save it for me!)

attachment-routine

(This post is boring me, but I've already typed it. If you just read the first few paragraphs and skip our routine, I won't hold it against you.)

Routine

This is one that is oft-touted, and very important, for the same reason that a small world is. Routine makes life predictable and safe. It relieves some of the hypervigilence. If you know what is coming next, you don't have to worry. And you don't have to have as many contingency plans.

Children living in an orphanage have a fairly rigid routine. They're not often given choices. So, by keeping a routine in place for a child newly home, you're providing comfort, familiarity and relieving stress. All good.

I'm a planner. (Big surprise.) And in this case, I'm so glad I'd thought about routine before I had Lexi with me. Because, on that first night, when you've got this little person looking up at you, you're not going to have time to stop and plan things out. And the orphanage schedule, while it *may* prove helpful for mealtimes and sleeptimes in the beginning, is not going to help you figure out what you do at bedtime. Do you bathe at night? Do you brush your teeth before or after your bath? Do you read stories/sing songs/whatever? Where? What about morning? Do you get dressed and make your bed before breakfast? After? At all? (kidding)

Some routines and rituals get set without you even knowing it-so be careful. ;> We brushed teeth together that first night, eye to eye, Lexi mimicking my body language. Since then, she feels incredibly shut out if I don't brush teeth with her (If, say I was planning to eat the last brownie after she's asleep and so I told her I'll wait and brush later. Hypothetically.). And she still does it with a hand on her hip.

We had to change some things. We started out bathing at night and found that was too overstimulating. We didn't have a rocking chair until we got home and so we rocked on the bed. Changing these things (and changing bathtime back to evening in preparation for school) was HARD.

While I'm not good at doing everything the same, even in my classroom, we do have a structure to our days. It's just a flexible structure.

Stay in *a* bed (sleep post coming, too) until 7:00.

We get up and eat in our pajamas.

We clear the table, tidy up the kitchen and put away clean dishes (she does all the lower cabinets and silverware).

Then she gets dressed (after I explain again that now we take a bath at night). I take a shower while she watches Kipper. Or, I explain again that now we take a bath at night, she watches Kipper and gets dressed after I shower. It depends on how much I want a shower and how much she wants clothes.

Then, whatever. We play.

Lunch is at 11:45 ish (the time they eat at school). We clear the table together. Depending on how long lunch takes, we either play a bit or go right to rest/nap.

12:45/1:00-2:00 Ask Lexi if she want to rest or sleep. Have rest time.

Whatever. Usually something big and messy and fun after rest, because I'm rested, too. This is when we do school things some days. Sometimes this is when we go for a walk. The weather is generally better in the morning, and she's a morning bug, but somehow we don't get out then (except for Thursdays when the cleaner comes and we have to be out). I think it's because I'd have to blow-dry my hair.

5:45ish dinner I've played with this time a little and can't quite get it right.

We clean up the dinner mess and she plays for a bit.

6:45 on shampoo nights, by 7:00 if it's not, we start getting ready for bed. There are routines within our daily routine, and this may be as good a place as any to explain...

• She chooses pajamas, underwear and socks if she wants them while I run the bath.
• Bath with bubbles--play with cups, pretend to make food, swim, say, "You're my little fish!", count down the fish times, *or* "No fish today. Tomorrow you can be a fish." before she gets in the bath (She can be a fish on shampoo nights. That's every other night--with its own script about chin up and the shampoo being American and won't hurt her eyes, etc.)
  
• Lotion--lavender at night, aveeno in the morning warmed in my hands. The first lotion dollop is my handprint on her tummy, name body parts as you lotion, "discover" all the food from the day in her tummy.
• Get dressed in underwear, pajamas, debate socks (since her toes are polished) with herself.
  
• (Bottle here if she wants one. Regression post coming!)
• Brush teeth--I do hers first and then we brush together. We fluoride rinse- me holding her, humming a song to time it.
• (Blow dry goes here if it's a shampoo night--her on my lap)
• Lexi chooses books.
• Melatonin, books, lights out, review the day, plan tomorrow, pray, sing one song, say goodnight to everything, sing some more

Actually, our singing and good-nighting depends on her. If she starts processing, I process with her. If she needs to talk, we say "good night" to everyone and everything in the world, if she asks or if she's contented and quiet, I sing.

She's usually asleep around 8:00. Usually.

That's kind of what we do. It's working for us.

I'll post about rituals next as this is long...and they're a little different from routines in my mind.

lera update

Amazing. Just amazing.

My friend sent an e-mail that said...

the director told me they think they have a family who is ready to commit to adopt lera. that's all it takes to keep her out of the institution!

Thank you for your prayers for Lera!

Reece's Rainbow says:
Lera is a gorgeous little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. She is 4 years old. She is quite high functioning, and doing very well. She has flat feet and a systolic heart murmur, but no major heart conditions. She is able to walk and climb, she eats by herself, dances, and understands and follows directions. She has also been transferred to the regular class, so she living and learning with her typical peers.



Now, amazing prayer warriors, I've got sisters ages 11 and 13 who really need a home. They're part of my 3.10 girls...

praying for lera

For the past year, a good friend of mine has been praying for a little girl in Russia. She was assigned to be her "prayer warrior" through the wonderful ministry, Reece's Rainbow, which specializes in placing children with Down Syndrome from various countries.

She was thrilled when she received Lera as her little girl to pray for, as Lera is Russian, and was born the very week that her girls were born.

In Russia, if a Down Syndrome child is not adopted by the age of 4, they go into an institution and can never be adopted.

Since Lera turned 4 in August, my friend was afraid bad news was coming. Sure enough, yesterday afternoon, she received the email below. Would you please stop, today, (which, ironically is Orphan Sunday), and pray specifically that God would work a miracle and prompt a family to start the process to adopt little lera?

Dear S,

I know you are the Reece's Rainbow prayer warrior for Lera in Russia. We just received word that Lera will be transferred to an institution in the next few days or weeks at most. She will not be able to be adopted (ever) once transferred as Russia's institutions are closed. If a family comes forward in the next few days and commits to her then she won't be transferred. I am letting you know so that you can send up some urgent prayers for her. She is a beautiful little girl and is located in St. Petersburg.

attachment-keeping it small

"Keep their world small."

This is the advice, the decree given to adoptive parents. But how do you do that? And for how long? I have another month until we're both in school. I'm so grateful for as long as I've had with her, but wish it were longer. I think I could easily spend a year easing her in to life. Or longer. But I am very thankful we've been able to have our own small world for as long as we do. It is precious beyond measure.

What does it really mean to keep their world small? I think it means different things to different families. First children have a much greater opportunity to experience this "smallness" than children do who are coming in to a family that has children--and all their activities and things. It must be hard to shrink a world for a child who is getting a new sibling, and likely needs the comfort of his usual activities.

Okay. About us:

I think the time spent in Russia, as crazy as it is running around from place to place collecting pieces of stamped paper, is an easy place to build that "smallness". It was just Lexi and I. We had few responsibilities and obligations. We had few clothing choices. We had two dvd's. We had three books. We had her bear, her doll, (really wish I hadn't brought the doll), a coloring book, stacking cups, and some wooden animal beads that I'd brought on an earlier visit.

I think that it's as important to limit the number of things as it is to limit the number of people and places. As tired as I was of those clothes and those things, we didn't pitch them when we came home. We slept in those same pajamas. The same toys, books, and dvd's that we watched for two weeks on the road we all we played with and watched for about the first week home. I had taken all the toys out of her room. They're still gone, but some books have migrated there. In the living room, where her toys are, they are mostly out of sight.

Slowly, over the last month, we've explored most of the toy bins. She knows what is in them. But, generally, she doesn't need an abundance of things from which to choose. She has her favorite activities (reading books, playing with her baby, playing shopping, painting, doing puzzles) and plays them over and over. I will introduce a new game or toy or will add an accessory to her "plays" (like the bath tub or dishes for her doll), but it is often much later that she wants to do it again. (Or, she wants it every. single. day.)

We really do stick to only-one-toy most of the time. Most of the time. And, sometimes a play gets very involved and needs many accessories. No problem! But when we're done with that play, they get picked up. Every other night before bed with do a quick pick-up of the flat, one room at a time. She actually enjoys this, because she enjoys helping, and it keeps things away. If we did it every night, neither one of us would enjoy it.

In Moscow, were in an apartment roughly the size of our own. Being in an apartment was wonderful. It meant that we didn't have to go out for meals. We could go out if we needed to, but we didn't have to. We had different spaces for sleep and play.

While many families have needed to gate off sections of their house, we didn't. Our flat is not huge. She knows that we play in either her room (very rare, but I'd love for it to happen more) or the living room. We don't play in Mama's room, the kitchen or the bathroom. And that's our entire flat.

Lexi is very good at respecting boundaries, which is not always the case with pi kids. Granted, I'd made my house much like my classroom--nearly everything accessible is fair game. But, not everything. I live here, too. My desk and the bookshelves are off-limits. But, all I had to do was tell her was the desk was only for Mama. She just doesn't touch it or anything on it. I didn't even mention the bookshelves. Perhaps having her own, and the "dullness" of the books on mine, makes it less tempting.

All this is old news to most adoptive and pre-adoptive parents. Limit the people you come in contact with and allow no one else to provide (food, gifts, affection, etc.) for your child. Keep the physical space limited and sparse. Stay home as much as is humanly possible. Eat the same things, wear the same things, do same things. All of this prevents over-stimulation. It doesn't take much to rock the world of these little people.

Keeping things small keeps things safe. It's predictable. It helps a child to relax and let down their guard. Hypervigilent children in particular, those that are constantly on the lookout for what danger may possibly occur and planning how to handle it, benefit from this. And, I think all children coming out of an orphanage have some hypervigilence. They have to. It's self-preservation. Until they know that you'll keep them safe, they have to be prepared to keep themselves safe.

One thing I did instinctively as a teacher of esl students, that I haven't heard discussed elsewhere, is keep her vocabulary small. I used the exact same words over and over to describe an action. (i.e. always, "Please take this to the trash can." and not the occasional "Please throw this away." Always saying "Please take this to xxx" means that she only has one new word in the sentence to figure out. She quickly learned the sink, the trash, your room, the table, the bathroom, Mama's room...) She can follow two- and three-step directions now, which is amazing.

I didn't use synonyms. (Things were little, not small.) I didn't use contractions. As her vocabulary grows, I am incorporating these. I am still avoiding homophones as much as possible (ie, since we rock each night, there are stones and not rocks on the street).

Specific feedback is important! "Good job!" is great, but general. I realized, as I listened to Lexi play, that I often include the command after it. I must be saying, "Good job, chew and swallow!" "Good job, be careful!" "Good job, watch what you're doing!" I found myself today saying, "Good job, be careful. You were very careful while you were cutting." I think that's the transition from survival English, just being able to communicate, to speaking English. (Hmm...not really part of keeping her world small...but will leave it as I think it's interesting.)

Small world--few people, few places, few things, consistent vocabulary. Variety is not the spice of life. Or, if it is, pi kids need a very bland diet for a long time!

planning to do, in a sketchy sort of way, shorter posts on: routine and rituals, sleeping/co-sleeping, belonging together, a single mom copes, common pi issues (maybe)... any requests?

Orphan Sunday

http://www.orphansunday.org/concert

"On November 8th from 4:oo to 6:00 pm CST, join voices with Steven Curtis Chapman, Jim Daly, and Dennis Rainey to reach the nation with God’s call to care for orphans. Through excellent music and the sharing of the heart of God, we hope to give a megaphone to the cries of the millions of orphans around the world. Other guests include Geoff Moore and the Children of the World Choir.

The concert will be broadcast LIVE via webcast and satellite. Locations with high speed internet access will be able to view the concert remotely via the web."

spot the reason

Why is this photo blogworthy?



Look closer. But not at the cluttered counter or the pile of orphanage donations in the window, please. Look at the table.

It's not that kookla got sick and needed a hot water bottle. It's not that Mouse forgot to clear her plate. It's not the cute penguin slippers that don't stay on under the table. It's this:


Lexi decided to not finish her muffin at breakfast but to save it for later!

Mama is now keeping a see-through container at every meal so we can put in what we want to save for later. If it doesn't need to be refrigerated, it stays at Lexi's place. If it does, she will put it in the 'fridge.

We had a great day!

attachment preamble

I am not an attachment expert.

I've read a lot of experts and talked to many in-the-trenches experts. I guess now it's my turn to share my view from the trenches.

I've tried to write this post several times, but it's just too big. So, dear viewers (as one of my second grade bloggers was wont to say), there's a whole lot of attachment and coping stuff coming. A whole series, I think. Which seems presumptuous. I mean, who am I to be writing a post on this, much less "a series"? (Although you already know I'm wordy, so the fact that it takes more than one post to manage this shouldn't be too shocking--unless you've only been reading since Lexi came home. Many of those posts have been...brief.) But many people have asked--especially those waiting for an "older" child.

So...here goes. There is a lot that is out of one's control as far as attachment goes. But here's what I've done, single mom adopting this particular six-year-old, that, hopefully, has helped.

It's been six weeks and things are going remarkably well. Really, it's amazing. Ann Marie is going to chime in on the comments and straighten this quote out. Basically, she was seeing signs of attachment in Lexi and I (attachment is a two-way street) after two weeks that she wasn't seeing in Alexander for months. (I'll fix that when you tell me what it really way, AM. I was too tired to remember. Hey--you can even have a guest post!)

I prayed for three-and-a-half years that my children's hearts would be prepared for me and my heart for them. And that's the biggest thing AM saw when we were in the US. Her quote, "Kate, she was just ready." And for that I am so grateful!

So, now that the preamble, disclaimers and celebrity endorsements are out of the way, here's my first gem:

If you can tell that it's going to be a hard day, and I can tell, because the state of the day depends mostly upon me and how tired I am, then put your child in your favorite outfit. It's much easier to attach to a clean, sweet-smelling, darling child.

Okay, none of the experts told me that. But I think it's true. It may not be as conventional as the other things I did, but I am sharing this with you first, so that you can skip the rest of the attachment stuff if you're sick of reading about it.

discrepancy

time* from books to bed

Monday: 12 minutes (wow)
Tuesday: 1 hour 15 minutes**

*this time includes prayers, good nights, and lullabyes/rocking

**on Tuesday, it also included a bottle--those 15 minutes may be subtracted from the total time listed as the bottle, if needed, usually precedes books

joyful jumping

This is from about a week and a half ago...I think. The date stamp is when I uploaded it and not when it was taken. Helpful. Just love the video camera.

(so not.)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

a (good) day in the life

6:35 (This is late and may very well be a contributing factor to our good day.) Lexi needs to use the bathroom. She has to stay in *a* bed until 7:00 and takes the option of moving from Mama's bed to her bed for the remaining half hour. (This may also have been a contributing factor to the good day.)

7:10 Mama, having dozed until now, tells Lexi, "Good morning! It's seven." All excited, Lexi scrambles up, climbs into Mama's arms chirping, "It's seven!! Good MORNing!" in both Russian and English. We go to Mama's room to verify that the first number on the clock is, indeed, a seven.

Lexi heads out to play. Mama makes breakfast, of a sort--instant oatmeal, toast (me) and yogurt (Lex). Juice and vitamins for all.

Lexi forgets that we now take a bath at night and wants one in the morning. Instead, she chooses her clothes (we're staying home today), washes hands and face, and we brush teeth together.

Mama and Lexi head out for Kipper--Mama's answer to a solo shower. But, Mama feels lazy and doesn't want to shower. She e-mails and futzes on the computer, simultaneously commenting on the essential parts of Kipper. Then, with two stories left, Mama kisses Lexi and promises a quick shower.

We put clean sheets on both beds (L@ur@ Ashely fairies on Lexi's, my favorite grey ones on mine), put away my laundry (we did hers last night), gave Beazy a bath (she was not thrilled, but Lex was quietly cooing our standard encouragements to her, and she coped well) played airplane (We sit on the couch and play whatever she's packed in her little pink backpack. There is much pretend seat buckling and tray opening and closing.), watched a few minutes of a Sesame Street shape dvd but it wasn't for us, fingerpainted (a first), washed placemats, played in the water, mopped up all the water that spilled when Lex tried to dump the basin herself, and had lunch around noon (leftover mac & veg& cheese--and yes, she had to eat the broccoli and carrots, which she has decided she doesn't like. She still loves zucchini.)

We loaded lunch dishes and started the dishwasher.

12:45 quiet time (Lexi gets to choose to sleep or rest. This is a great illustration of predestination and free will. ;> ) I watch iTunes tv. ;> I even read a few pages and doze for a few minutes.

2:00 Lexi is sprung! I try to explain that it is two and not seven, that it's not morning. I'll do it again tomorrow.

Declines a snack.

Started working on writing numbers, played with wooden mosaic tiles, put flowered vinyl tablecloth on her window (that sounds horrible but it isn't that bad), and another on her wall (because I'm so sad I'm not allowed to paint), took the one on her wall off the wall because it wouldn't stay without nails and I'm not ready to commit, replaced framed photos on her wall with paper copies (since she keeps taking and knocking the frames down), watched Josh and the Big Wall for the second time (Neechevo rookye! Neechevo feet! Tolka tomato. Nada jump, jump, jump! She thinks Larry is a zucchini and the squashes are pears. Close enough. She has no idea about the asparagus family.) and painted her toenails (I think her feet are overly sensitive because they're never exposed--and that pretty toenails *might* encourage more exposure.), jumped on the mini tramp ($92--but the only one I found and already proving a good outlet for St. P's inclement weather), colored--GREAT coloring advances today-- and did a sticker book, put on our cloud and rain and watched "A Flower Grows", watched her singing Feed the Birds. Lexi was inspired to rock her doll while I make dinner--Lexi's requested meal of "meekaballs". (Didn't really cook anything today and only did one load of laundry. Also contributing factors to the good day, I suspect.)

Her doll joined us for dinner. This is always a treat because I get to hear myself, my words, in Lexi's voice. And I like what I heard. That is extremely gratifying! It makes me feel relieved. I loved hearing her prompt her doll to say, "Yes, please, Mama." She gently stroked her cheek as she murmured endearments and good job's. And she laughed when the doll's head got covered in tomato goo. ;>

After dinner, we had a bath (this is only day three of evening bath...but we're doing okay), lotioned, pajama-ed, brushed teeth, read stories, had a bottle (at her request) and rocked, and went to the bathroom again. We sat on the bed, me cradling her, in the dark and reviewed our day. We talked about what we will/might do tomorrow. We prayed. Lexi decided to plan tomorrow in greater detail--TRAIN, puzzle, number 1-2-3, paint, airplane, Kipper, shop (in Russian), book.

It was a quick night--Feed the Birds, saying good night to everyone and everything, and then she wanted to go to bed. Sometimes we rock to sleep, sometimes she wants to be put down sleepy. When I put her down, I can immediately tell if she's ready to sleep or stalling. Ready to sleep--stays curled up on her side. Not--flips to her back. When I put her down, she stayed on her side so I sang two more songs and rubbed her back, limbs, and head before leaving.

Tonight it was 7:50 when I left. When I went back at 8:00, she was asleep, exactly in the position I'd left her.

It was a good day in the life. Six weeks tomorrow...and I think we're both feeling settled.