getting rid

Okay, fair warning. This post is about a Bible verse that hit me over the head as I loaded my duvet cover into the tumble dryer.

It's Ephesians 4:31.

I was walking to school today thinking about how the anger and frustration I feel towards my agency is only hurting me. It's not making them accomplish things quicker. It's not doing anything to get my d2b home faster. At the rate I'm going, I'd snatch her/them from their hands after court with a very bitter heart. How can that be good? How can we start a new life with my heart in that state? I don't want to be a bitter, unforgiving Mom. What a rotten example that would be! I want my d2b to be warm, compassionate and loving. I need to work harder at being that way now.

I do regularly pray thankfully for all my "trials". It is the best way I've come up with so far for dealing with them. I give thanks for the extra time I have to prepare and save money. I am thankful for the deeper cultural understanding I have of the workers at the agency and the culture in which d2b is currently living. I pray for the people who are driving me crazy and for every hand that touches my paperwork. I pray for d2b and for the people who care for her/them. It helps. I just need to do more of it!

I did post some quotes a half hour ago (Elle caught them!) centering on the theme of "useless". Actually, they are quite funny and I may post them at a later date. But today, as I struggle to be gracious when dealing with an agency I feel is pretty useless, I didn't think I should fan my own flame.

So instead I'm posting the verse that just hit me. I was doing laundry this afternoon and this verse leapt to mind: Eph. 4:31a "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger..."

No, they haven't answered my questions about registering independently. Yes, they continue to be didactic and snarky and a bit power-mad. But, I can't change them. I can only change me. Taking care of myself is a big enough job for me to handle. (Hmmm..those bits of advice are ones I regularly hand out to my second graders...)

Oh Say, Can You See

On Friday afternoon, two other teachers joined me in my classroom to wait until the clock struck four and we could go home. My classroom is on the back of the building. From it you can easily see all the doings at the naval school behind us. On Friday, the students were out in full force, as they have been for the last week or two, practicing their marching in preparation for Victory Day in May. Believe me, they've started none too soon. These boys can't march in step at all! They practice very slowly and then increase the speed. They practice marching in different formations. And they aren't very good. They're sloppy in posture and in attitude. Even though the music is blaring away, they are more often than not out of step. I've never seen them all marching smartly in time to the music. (Another US teacher tried to argue on their behalf saying that some people simply could not march to a beat. I asked if she'd ever gone to a parade at home and seen people shuffling along and marching out of time. Yeah, me neither.)

With the music playing, we started talking about patriotic music. I mentioned that the suggestion (made by another US teacher and myself) that we, as a school, learned the Russian national anthem was soundly defeated. We were told that the Russian anthem was not a song to sing. It was a song to listen to solemnly, perhaps with one tear trickling down a cheek. My Russian friend confirmed that this was so. She said she didn't even know the words to the anthem. I've heard many Russians comment that they only know the words to the Soviet anthem, not the new one (the tune is the same).

My Scottish friend proceeded to proclaim all patriotic songs rubbish. She said they were just brainwashing--citing God Save the Queen and Rule Britannia as prime examples.

Personally, I like patriotic songs. On my first trip to Europe my friend Dawn and I sang every patriotic song we could think of as we waited in a cold, windy train station just after Christmas. It was comforting and encouraging. The songs are joyful and really do make me proud.

I know that Americans have a reputation for being overly-patriotic. I'm reminded of this often by amazed friends from across the world. But, I don't think that's a bad thing. I think we feel an ownership for our country--it is a nation of the people, by the people and for the people. We are those people! It's our country. I think rejoicing in that fact makes us more cohesive as a nation and more responsible as individuals. You take better care of something in which you have a vested interest.

So, the next time you get the chance to stand together with a group of disparate people and proclaim together your common allegiance to the flag (and to the republic for which it stands) and sing about the country that flag represents, stand tall, sing loud and be thankful. I am looking forward to the day when I can stand with you.

you are what you eat

Or at least that's what we've been told over and over again. So perhaps my recent eating habits are noteworthy. For the last two dinners and breakfast this morning I've been eating sunflower seeds, pistachios, almonds and cashews. To counteract...their effect, I've also had a couple of bananas.

That's me these days. Nuts. And bananas. Either way...

loooong time, no blog

Sorry, guys.

A nasty virus (fever, headache, sore throat) followed by report cards and now conferences...

...combined with no adoption news whatsoever...

...has resulted in a complete lack of posts. I'll try to remedy that this weekend.

fwd: documents

We received your apostilled documents from PA today. They will be sent FedEx to Russia tomorrow.

That's all it said...but isn't it GREAT news?

signs of spring

I haven't heard a robin singing or seen crocus growing...but I have seen signs that spring is coming to St. Petersburg. Yesterday the rooftops were covered by men with snow shovels. They were shovelling the melting snow off the rooftops and onto the sidewalk below (pay attention, pedestrians). We've had highs around 5C for the past two days. All the snow is melting. And, if the snow isn't shovelled off the roofs, it will melt and flood the buildings below. Hmmm...repair the roofs or employ masses of people to perform this dangerous task every year... You choose.

All last night the sound of heaps of snow and ice falling to the ground in a mighty whoosh could be heard. It wasn't the shovelers, it was just gravity pitching in. The drainpipes are melting, too. Many are as big around as a pasta pot. When enough meltage occurs, the ice falls with a might crack to the pavement below.

Spring is coming! Or, as a Russian friend said last night, "Mud season is here."

weather...

When in doubt about what is appropriate to contribute to the conversation, one may always talk about the weather. Or so they say.

** Interestingly, in the UK I found that conversations about the weather and the deplorable bus service were the two safe topics suitable for conversation with strangers. After being nodding acquaintainces for a bit, you proceed to greetings. Then you stay in this bus-and-weather safe-zone for an extended period of time. In a small country with a large population, this, and the practice of keeping one's eyes averted, is the equivilent of "elbow room" (Are you singing along?).

The days are certainly longer. The streetlights are off when I walk to school and it stays light until nearly 7:00 p.m. I'm still amazed at how quickly it gets dark here and then how rapidly it becomes light again. There's not that much time spent in short, dark days...maybe a month.

It's warmer now, so it's snowing again and will continue to all this week.

I don't ride the bus often, but my car is still lacking a working battery.

Was that really better than no post at all?

quick quotes

"Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition."

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

long story short--take the train

This time last week our heroine was typing up a last-minute blog before dashing out the door. Kate, call her intrepid or call her foolish, had decided to fly to Moscow to visit the blogger ap's gathered there. Having flown travelled all over Europe by herself, Kate didn't think twice about getting to the airport by herself. Ah, foolish girl! She had forgotten, as you certainly have not,that she was in RUSSIA. Certainly, she had the assurances of friends that a shuttle ran from the metro to the airport. However, none of these friends knew exactly how to get to the domestic airport in St. Petersburg.There was confusion about whether she needed Pulkovo 1, which was the second airport, or Pulkovo 2, which was the first airport. But, our heroine, trusting in her ability to read both her ticket and appropriate signage pressed on unconcerned.

The metro ride was uneventful. She was even fortunate to get a seat! This boded well for her journey...or so she thought. Upon exiting the metro, she'd been instructed to turn right. However, upon exiting the metro she was faced with a tunnel that went neither left nor right. So, she shouldered her bag and walked straight ahead. Soon, stairs appeared to her right. She, thinking this was the closest thing to the directions she'd been given, climbed up to street level. She emerged at a mashrutka (mini bus) stop. Feeling pleased, she waited for a mashrutka. After a few minutes, she asked a gentleman if the mashrutkas for the airport stopped where they were waiting. No, she was told. She needed to cross the street but the mashrutka would come from the same direction as it would arriving at her current stop.

After thanking the man she went back into the tunnel and emerged at another mashrutka stop. There were three mashrutkas waiting. She asked the first if they went to the airport. No, she was told. The first mashrutka did. She went to the first mashrutka and repeated her question. Did this mashrutka go to Pulkovo 1? The passengers all said no. The driver asked her to repeat her question and then told her to get in. Listening to the driver and not the passengers, she did. (A sense of foreboding should fill the reader here.)

After travelling for awhile (unfortunately, the only seat empty was the one directly behind the driver so she was forced into service as the fare-and-change-passer-upper) they approached Pulkovo 2. Kate told the driver she didn't want Pulkovo 2, she wanted Pulkovo 1. At this point a great deal of Russian was unleashed upon our heroine. She gathered that the mashrutka didn't go to Pulkovo 1, but not what she should do. She asked repeatedly if she should get out. There was no reply.

Eventually, a voice in English came from the back. The speaker told her what she had already surmised, that the mashrutka didn't go to Pulkovo 1. He then conversed with the driver and told her that the driver would put her on the correct mashrutka. The drove along for a while until the driver flagged down another mashrutka. The driver and the interpreter both got out and walked her to the new vehicle. After speaking to her as if she were 3, they left. Kate had been informed that the new driver would tell her where to get out. Upon disembarking, she should take mashrutka 39 to the airport.

At a busy crossroads, the driver motioned with his head. "Here?" Kate asked. He again motioned with his head, so out she got. She found herself in a BUSY intersection with no hope of flagging a mashrutka. But, undaunted, or not much daunted, she crossed the streets, walked about a half a block, and found a bus stop with bus 39. Deciding this was close enough (and it did say airport on the side) she got in. The driver assured her this bus went to Pulkovo 1.

Hurrah! The airport came into view. Kate felt triumphant. Surely the difficult part was over. Airports are airports--maneuvering in one is much the same as maneuvering in another. Au contraire, mon cher. This is RUSSIA. This airport was built in the intimidating Soviet style. There were massive metal gates everywhere preventing people from approaching the check-in gates.

Our heroine's spirits flagged. How was she to navigate this metal maze? Then, her eye landed upon a sign that said, "Flights to Moscow". Spirits raised, she set off...and found herself in a bar. Puzzled, she turned around and retraced her steps. The only options were to go to the bar or go through the metal gates. She headed back toward the gates. Her flight wasn't listed on any of the boards, but she went to the only open gate. The attendant took one look at her ticket and told her she was in the wrong place. When she asked where to go, the attendant told to "There" and gestured vaguely.

Our heroine decided that it was too early to go to the check-in gate (When flying internationally from Pulkovo 2, no one was allowed to go to the check-in gates more than an hour before their flight, so...it was a good guess.) and so sat down to wait. After waiting a bit and still not seeing her flight, and really very confused at this point, she went back to the metal gate. She told the attendant she didn't understand. Her flight number was not on the board. Just at that moment, (the reader should be noticing a trend here) a man approached who was also in the wrong place. He needed to go to Moscow. Our heroine was told to follow him. she did--to the check-in gate located behind the bar.

After checking in, being body scanned, and waiting in another bar, a woman who bore a strong resemblance to Dr. Ruth came through and talked very quickly. Everyone gathered their bags, so Kate followed suit. They got on a shuttle bus and drove around and around in circles, stopped for a bit, and then drove around some more. Everyone disembarked. Kate was puzzled. Was this another terminal? It looked remarkably like the one they'd just left. There was the bar, there was the bit of paper dropped on the floor...it was the one they'd just left!

A bit later, the shuttle ride was repeated but this time ended at a plane. Over an hour late, the plane boarded and took off. Our heroine was Moscow bound!

And this is only the story of getting to Moscow! Our Kate still had to get from the Moscow airport to her friends...and then reverse the process in two days' time. Fortunately, travelling angels continued to be close at hand and provided assistance at every turn. And, the return trip was much less intersting because she hired drivers instead of using public transportation. She even managed to have a lengthy and enjoyable conversation with her driver in Moscow in Russian on the way to the airport. This left her feeling quite chuffed. But, she still vowed she'd only make this trip by train in future. Trains are prompt and the stations are in the middle of town.

monstrous

Remember that I said to HALT! and not do anything major when you're hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Yeah...kinda blew that one today.

This morning I had two e-mails from my facilitators. The first said that because they'd just received my (third) homestudy and hadn't yet received the agency agreement, they didn't think that my papers would be filed before accreditation expires. It ended with "We will see".

The e-mail just following that was from them as well--telling me a family had posted that they wanted to adopt from St. P and were looking for an agency.

I sent back a shocked reply to the second that simply said, "Are you asking me for a recommendation?" and sat on the first.

This was not the most auspicious start to my day. I felt gobsmacked. It was the first time I'd really felt like we might not make the deadline. I just expected it to all work out. Then, after the e-mail, I felt the the wind had been knocked out of me. I must've looked awful because my friend Kat, after good morning-ing me, immediately asked, "What's wrong?" in that voice of doom which means you're bleeding profusely and they'll probably have to amputate.

Then, I spent all day eating cookies. I tend to educate very environmentally-aware students. Call it tree-hugging if you like. I call it exercising dominion. One of my students this year wanted to take action. She, with her mom's full support, organized a cookie sale today to raise money to help endangered animals. So, starting last night, I ate cookies--both cooked and uncooked. My car is STILL not starting (where are my brothers?!??) so there's not a lot of food in the flat. There's neither bread nor milk. So breakfast was cookies (they were oatmeal...) and tea. All day we nibbled--chocolate chip, oatmeal and little fudgy hedgehogs.

When I got home I was tired, hungry for real food but on a nauseous cookie-hangover, and angry with my agency. Three out of four. Not good. Stop now, Kate. HALT!

I e-mailed my agency (not the facilitators) and told them I was very frustrated. I said that I felt I'd been treated more like an inconvenience than a paying client. I acknowledged that my living sich made things more difficult, but pointed out that they knew that up front. And, I said that I was frustrated by the fact that we were going to miss the deadline because of two documents--one of which the facilitators had for five months before asking for changes and the other of which the agency mailed seven months after I'd asked them to mail it.

I asked that they do everything in their power to get the paperwork here to Russia in time--paying extra fees, using couriers, etc. And, I told them I'd sent an electronic copy of my hs to the translator so he could get started. (The audacity of me taking initiative like this could prove irredeemable.)

This is either a very good move and will get results. Or, it's a bad, bad, BAD idea and they'll now throw my file in the bin and let it sit there. I feel worse. I think I may have been an idiot.

So, that advice to HALT--do as I say, not as I do.

Great. As I typed this I burnt the pasta sauce I made with my last box of chopped tomatoes. Any Avenue Q fans want to guess what song I'm thinking of right now?

-from your very own Kate-monster

Edited to add: Yes, it was a mistake. Now everyone's upset with me and protesting their good efforts made on my behalf.

tuesday newsday

GETTING to Moscow is a post in itself. But, I'll save that for tomorrow because what you REALLY want to know is how the visits went.

I stayed with Lauren. We had a great time--good food, lots of laughs, good chats and fun. And, I was given the honour of being the first to visit with her new daughter, Cianna (pronounced "Channa" to rhyme with fauna or the country of Ghana). She really IS a cupcake! She's a sparkly little girl who has the most infectious giggle. The sight of a bottle or a tickle of her ribs is all it takes to set her off. Soon, we were all laughing. I enjoyed horsey rides, high fives and playing photographer. Now Lauren has some pics with her in them!

I've got some pix of cupcake to post (specially taken to not reveal her identity in any way) but I can't find my download cable. For now, you'll just have to see her cuteness on Lauren's blog.

While I was there, I was in Moscow, Lauren had rallied the troops, so I was also able to meet with Jeff and Maria who just took custody today of their son and Rich and Laura who are on their way back to Moscow with their daughter by now. I count it a privilege to play a small part in this exciting time of these families' lives.

Here we are (l-r) Laura, Lauren, me, Maria

On my adoption front, the facilitators will have everything tomorrow that needs to be apostilled. If they can get it apostilled and to Russia in the next two weeks, we're in good shape. Talk about cutting it close! We're still waiting for one more document to arrive in their office, but, thankfully, it's already apostilled. Please keep praying for quick, competent hands! I'm starting to believe this could really happen...

Off to Moscow!

More next week...

Baby steps forward made in getting a new version of a document from the consulate AND the hs agency is fed exing something to the facilitators. (Thanks, Karen, for giving me their address! I don't know why they didn't answer...)

So--happy weekend!

It's Maslenitsa!

By request of a friend who wanted to celebrate with her adopted child, I'm re-publishing last year's post about Maslenitsa. This is a holiday I look forward to and will continue to celebrate after I'm home in the US.

"We had a BALL at the Russian village today! (2007 note: We're going back on Thursday.) Our entire school went to celebrate Maslenitsa. The village is a living history museum (basically). We participated in folk songs and dances, painted whistles and played traditional games. Then we had a lovely meal together--topped off with blinis!

Here is what the guide told us about the holiday:

This is a week-long celebration to welcome spring that has been celebrated for hundreds of years.

On Monday: Make two small dolls for your home. One, made of straw and dressed in old, ugly clothes symbolizes winter. The other, of cloth or wood and dressed in fresh, new clothes symbolizes spring. Put these dolls in the window to let friends and neighbors know they are welcome to come in. (2007 note: Your entire house should be cleaned before visitors come. This is another way to say goodbye to the prior year.)

A large straw doll was made for the entire village as well.

On Tuesday: Whistles are given! Boys get horse whistles (strength) and girls get bird whistles (beauty, ability to rise above and fly). Cat whistles are the sign of a warm and loving family/home and can be given to either sex. The whistles are blown to call the birds back and to cast out sickness.

Wednesday is pancake day! Pancakes are warm and round and yellow like the sun.

On Thursday there is dancing and singing. (We sang songs about how people walked--ladies, grandmas, soldiers...)

Then, on Sunday the straw maslenistas are burned. This is also the day of atonement. You must ask forgiveness for anyone you've hurt or wronged in the last year and make ammends.

On this day, people who like winter sing sad songs to mourn its end.

Like most holidays in Russia, there is a mix of pagan, Christian, and Jewish elements. It's easy to see the overlap in these traditions--Lent, Yom Kippur...I think it's perfectly fine to celebrate the fact that God has granted us another spring!"

fyi

I teach some of the most privileged children in the city. These children are well-fed and well-cared for. Attention is lavished upon them. And you know what--they look a little peaked right now. We all do! If you look at anyone at school, you'll see skin that is of a pallor you'd not consider healthy. Circles are showing up under our eyes. Our hair has none of it's summery gold.

But, we're happy and, for the most part, healthy.

I just wanted to mention that for those people coming over in the next month or so to meet their children. We're all a little sun-deprived about now. I noticed the same thing last year about this time. And, according to friends who were in Helsinki last week, the further north you go the worse it gets. So don't let appearances scare you.

On an happy note, I just purchased a plane ticket to Moscow for the weekend. I'm still waiting for permission to travel from the government via the consulate (I can only go 70 km from the city centre without permission), but that shouldn't be a problem for this trip. While in Moscow I'm going to get to meet up with some blogger friends--and meet some blogger babies. How cool is that? I'm excited!

in the right

A friend from the UK shared that her partner (read "boyfriend") is having some frustrations with the Russian women who work for the consulate there. They will never admit they are wrong. Never. They've been caught in the middle of wrong-doing and will blatantly say it's not them. These are not major, earth-shattering mistakes. It could be something as simple as using the wrong color pen to sign a document. Still, presented with the evidence, they will deny that they were wrong. They will look at the ink and tell you black is blue.

I've had similar experiences with my facilitators in the US, but didn't recognize it as a cultural difference until my friend shared this with me. The latest, which is a little tiny, tiny thing that's driving me crazy, is about a lost check. I sent it in November. I know I did because we had to verify everything and include it on the customs form before I sent it. The check was there.

The check has not been cashed. I asked them about it when they were telling me how much I owed for apostille charges because the check I sent wasn't taken into account. They didn't cash a check I sent in August until November, so I wasn't overly concerned before then. But, they didn't have the check. I've said that I'll send a new check to replace it and one of the facilitators is fine with that. But. The other day I was asked (presumably by the other facilitator though the e-mail was unsigned) what I'd done about the check. It basically was saying that I was at fault, that I hadn't sent them a check.

I should've just stayed butter-won't-melt. But I didn't. I know it's a little, little thing but I couldn't. I'm sitting here waiting and watching the clock tick by, hoping that the inefficiencies on their part will not make the difference in whether or not my paperwork is filed before my agency's accreditation ends. And, so, I couldn't. I said I thought that they'd probably thrown the check out accidentally. Because, really, they probably did. Really, that's what I think. And I said it.

Cold reply. They had never received a check. But, this time I didn't present my customs story (though I did keep it in reserve). I simply said that it was sent with the second batch of documents and it wasn't a big deal to replace it.

And there was no answer to that e-mail, so I'm claiming the point. How sad is it that I feel the need to claim a victory this small? It's just that I'm so tired of being told I didn't do things that I did. I'm tired of being told I've been told things I haven't. I'm tired of all the paper-bungling and procrastination that's gone on. And I'm worried that all this garbage is going to delay my paperwork to the point that it's too late.

So, yes. I was petty. I am petty. I admidt it. I needed acknowledement that this time, they made a mistake.

I just hope this mistake is the last.

waiting

No, I've not disappeared off the face of the earth. I've just been without internet for most of the week. It's been off at home, off at school...

On Wednesday, I went and had all my signatures notarized on my Russian documents. Because they were in Russian, they don't have to be apostilled. So that's good.

V, my contact here in Russia, and I went to the notary office and I waited in the corridor while V went in to see if they had our documents ready. He reappeared shortly and said he was going to "help them". A bit later he came out and translated them to me. (On the advice of my agency I asked for children with "correctable medical conditions who were not invalids". I hope that was the proper phrasing. I've heard others request simply, children who are "as healthy as possible".)

While I was waiting for V, other people joined me in the corridor. I giggled inwardly every time a disembodied voice from inside the office shouted and one of my companions leaped up and rushed in. Forget that whole take-a-number system. Forget the secretary who comes and collects you. Just listen for the shout!

There were three numbered doors in the corridor. I thought they must be offices. Door number 2 was the notary. It turns out door 1 was a closet. Door 3 was a restroom.

I asked about the fact that my agency's accreditation was lapsing soon and how that would impact me. V said it's really important that all my documents be here in Russia by the end of the month so that they can be translated and filed before accreditation lapses in mid-March. It's possible that my agency, who filed for NGO status in December, won't have much of a lapse at all...but no one really knows for sure how things will turn out. By filing before the lapse, we can proceed. We think.

I asked if I should remind my agency of this (wouldn't you think they'd be telling me this??) or if that would just irritate them. We decided to try to nudge them along. When I mentioned, quite understatedly, that the US paperwork had been s-l-o-w to be dealt with, V replied, "Some people, when asked to do something they aren't familiar with, do nothing. They just put it off." Yep. I feel "put off". (As he said at our last meeting, my case, while not extraordinary, is very unusual. However, he seems to view it as an interesting and challenging prospect--with definite advantages. It's nice to have that perspecitve after being the problem child with the US folks for so long.) Hopefully, with this deadline looming, the procrastinator in them with leap into action.

I wonder if anyone has named their adopted child "Godot". I'm sure they haven't. That would be incredibly cruel. Sometimes that's who I feel I'm waiting for...

fast food

When we were talking about traditional foods for New Year's, I mentioned my favourite Russian foods were the pies. These are from a local chain (Stolle's, if you're coming to St. P) and are fab! We resort to these when we're in need of quick, relatively inexpensive food (this pie cost about $6) that is close. Stolle's is about two blocks from my house.

Here's the pretty, outside of the pie. The crust is a sweet bread. Like most Russian cuisine, it wouldn't be complete without dill. Fortunately there isn't much dill inside. (Why blogger insists on rotating this, I don't know.)

Inside you can have sweet things like berries or savoury things like meat and fish. This one is my favourite--it's chicken, rice and onion. Either it's everyone's favourite or no one's because it's not often available! (Note the porsche kettle in the background. Really. It'll make my landlord happy.)

i dreamed a dream

Hmmm...maybe I ought to've titled every post with a musical theatre reference...

The night before last I dreamt that I was at my first referral meeting. The MoE had sent me to the children's home by myself. V & N were supposed to meet me there later. I met the little girl referred to me, who was about 6. She was very round-faced with a square, white-blonde bob. She looked Scandinavian or German. She was the life and soul of the children's home and chattered away in English. Everyone was gathered around paying court. And I didn't want to take her home. I wanted to take home the sad little waif (who may have had a sister but that part is fuzzy) being overlooked by everyone. I can't remember now what she looked like, but I know her picture is still somewhere in my head. I was trying to sneak away without accepting the first referral. I felt badly, but just knew that the first child was too...jolly. I was saying to a worker that surely another family would want to adopt her because she spoke excellent English. The worker, full of contempt for my ignorance, replied that all the children and workers in orphanages spoke English.

Strange, huh?

I've got an appointment on Wednesday to do the notarizing. My friend arranged to replace the document the agency lost. The agency agreement that was sent to the wrong office was tracked down. And, the facilitators said to wait to replace the check they lost until the final apostilling costs are in.

Too smooth. V thinks the hs is lacking in clarity. He sent his concerns to the facilitators. If they ask my sw for more changes, she may flip.

Stay tuned.

name that book

I know--I should save this post for tomorrow. But, suz had a book-tag up on her blog...and I just couldn't resist.

Open the book you're reading to page 123 and share 6-8 sentences. Then, tag three people to share what they're reading. So,

"Offended me! How could you suppose so? Believe me," and Elinor spoke it with the truest sincerity, "nothing could be farther from my intention, than to give you such an idea. Could you have a motive for the trust, that was not honourable and flattering to me?"

"And yet I do assure you," replied Lucy, her little sharp eyes full of meaning, "there seemed to me to be a coldness and displeasure in your manner, that made me quite uncomfortable. I felt sure that you was angry with me; and have been quarrelling with myself ever since, for having took such a liberty as to trouble you with my affairs. But I am very glad to find it was only my own fancy, and that you do not really blame me. If you know what a consolation it was to me to relieve my heart by speaking to you of what I am always thinking of every moment of my life, your compassion would make you overlook everything else I am sure."

"Indeed I can easily believe that it was a very great relief to you, to acknowledge your situation to me, and be assured that you shall never have reason to repent it. Your case is a very unfortunate one; you seem to me to be surrounded with difficulties and you will have need of all your mutual affection to support you under them...."

Yes, you've found me in the middle of one of my all-time favs, Sense and Sensibility. (I was tempted to put up something from Eyre Affair just so those of you who are scared by its "science fiction" genre would try it...or a page from Wodehouse for those who haven't had the joy...but I'm right now I'm re-reading the Austen cannon once again, so had to play fair.)

Now I want to know what you're reading. (I know, I'm a lousy tagger.) Stick your blog in the comments if you take me up on this one!

two sides of the pond

On that side...
the agency needs to find apostilled documents that were sent to them. Facilitators need to find the check I sent. SW needs to sign agency agreement and send to facilitators. Facilitators need to apostille final documents and send them to this side of the pond.

On this side...
WOW! I met with part of the Russian team and he was brilliant. (This is the person I was instructed not to communicate with since he was "only the translator". Anyone who has used this team knows that's ridiculous.) Not only was he incredibly efficient and proactive (what a nice change) he also gave me a definite timeline for the work he's doing now. He will translate all the documents that need signatures into Russian for me, customizing them as he goes, and will go with me to notarize them by this Friday (best case) or next Friday (worst case). He said that while not extraordinary, my case was unusual and should be treated as such. We were both puzzled by the facilitator's insistence that we not communicate. He said it made much more sense for us to work here since I'm here. He went through my documents and told me what could be tossed out (my medical forms--which aren't needed to file with the committee), what we could do while we wait for the facilitators to send everything, and what I still needed. He took copies of the letters the committee asked for at the last meeting to be approved by them.

He has put a spring back in my step. I was feeling like I'd be trudging through muck for ages and ages. I just become resigned to slow, inefficiency. He showed me how close I am and what needs to be done to get there. And, since I'll be dealing with the Russian office almost exclusively (no "almost" if I have any say in it) once my papers are here, I saw that I'm almost through with the facilitators in the US.

So, good news over here!

Vada? Nyet!!

I've been watching "Master Chef", a reality programme from the UK. Of course, I watched it (this very same series) while I lived in the UK, so I'm not sure why I bother. I think I remember who wins...

There is a slight cultural difference in watching it here. Everytime they use water from the tap, I panic! ;>

esl?

Thanks for your interest in and concern for my new esl student. Truth be told, all but three of my students are esl. I have one student from the US, one from the UK and one from South Africa. The rest are from Sweden, Finland, Germany, Estonia, Czech Republic, South Korea, Japan, and Russia. Most do not speak English at home as their primary language. Many have two "mother tongues" as the result of international marriages.

You've asked how I go about teaching English. We do have an esl teacher, but her time is limited. Primarily, it falls to me to teach all our academics and English to my new students. Once they've gotten a grasp on English (this seems to happen after about 3 months) it's easy to integrate them into our regular curriculum.

Prior to that, I teach the lesson to the whole class and then re-teach the lesson with much demonstration, to the new esl students. What works? I'm not an expert, but here's what I've found in the last two years. Some of it is a conscious choice. Much of it is intuitive. I had to watch myself carefully to see what I do!

*Pantomime This seems obvious, but many of the teachers are hesitant to use it. I'm not afraid to look foolish. And, the humor involved helps the new student and the class to join in a laugh.

*Carry on! Involve the child in the same daily activities of those around them. At school, this involves lessons, projects, etc. We don't stop our day to learn English. We just learn along the way. At home you can narrate what you're doing much as you would with an infant. Cook, sort laundry (great for colors), play games, drive, go to the park, etc.

*Use repetitive vocabulary, avoiding synonyms For example, there are many ways I can tell the class as a whole, "Time for break." "Recess time." "That's enough for now." "Outside!" etc. With new students I give the same phrase and pantomime "Time to go out" while zipping a coat. Every day. When it gets asked back to me, "Go out?" I can slowly add synonyms, "Yes, it's recess time. Time to go out and play."

*Avoid contractions I've realized that I do this not only with esl students, but with any non-native speaker I encounter--including my colleagues. (Actually, I often lapse into this with native English speaker when I've been esl-ing for too long.) I think it helps new speakers hear the negatives more clearly (do not rather than don't) as well as simplifying the language

*Provide breaks from English I structure our days so that we don't have an overwhelming amount of English at one time. We use art, math, music and play to take a break from English.

*Use what works, forget what doesn't Different children are inspired by different things. Some want to talk to their friends. Some want to read. Some want to be able to play sports. Finding what works for each child makes the most sense of all.

*Speak simply but properly My students often try to communicate with our new speakers in cave man speak, "Me go. You come." We acknowledge that they are trying to be helpful and thank them for being a good helper and a good friend. Then, we remind them that they will help x speak English if they speak English properly to them.

*Praise and encourage Of course! We carry on conversations at whatever level we can. We marvel in progress. My other students, most of whom have btdt, are quick to help celebrate new words and phrases. We are an empathetic class (even if it kills me...) and are quick to celebrate together. My post-recess "reports" as they peal off coats and tell me how much fun soccer was (not who won) often include English updates.

*Sympathize Our constant refrain is "English is a crazy language". This seems to help with homophones, exceptions to rules, etc.

I hope this is what the inquiring minds were looking for when they asked how I teach esl. I'm sure there are many other things we do that help build success. If something jumps out at me, I'll add it. This is just about getting a new student to speak. I teach them to read using a self-devised modified Open Court phonics program. Open Court is great for esl students because it connects a sound to a real-life event rather than to an English work. (ie /m/ sound is linked to ice cream "Mmmmm" rather than to monkey.) I hope this helps!

actually, no

Enough was not said.

The subtitle of this post is "Teaching Alanis a lesson". I was going to title it that, but wanted to be sure that this post made sense with the earlier one about the e-mail I received from my agency. And, only part of it defines "ironic". The rest is just grist for the mill.

I thought, at first that the e-mail I received yesterday was a reply to an e-mail I sent the day before. But, it was actually a reply to requests made 17 November. These requests were not out of the ordinary. I was just requesting that forms they were responsible for (agency's license, agency agreement, guardian letters that were sent to them) be sent to the facilitators.

I got a response saying that they would start on the documents. It also said, in response to an earlier request that the facilitators made for the agecny to contact my sw (got that?), that the facilitators should be dealing directly with my sw. It continued saying the facilitators did an excellent job of managing documents, staying on top of changes, etc. (There's the irony--it came two months late! How on top of things is that?)

Yesterday I simply agreed that it would be best for them to deal directly with my sw, but said they had been reluctant to do that. I thought that was quite self-controlled of me.

Today, I got another e-mail saying that perhaps I should just forward the messages from the facilitators to my sw so that I would stay current on the requests being made (Irony again--so I would stay current?). I explained that my sw didn't feel it was appropriate for me to be requesting changes to my own hs and that I agreed. (I didn't say that often the facilitator's requests are unclear and demanding and that I didn'twant to be in the middle of it.) I said that I appreciated being kept in the loop, but perhaps I could be cc'd on e-mails. I also asked (okay, in a passive-aggressive way) if perhaps this was a problem that had been resolved as the e-mail being replied to was over two months old. Bad of me, I know.

So, the facilitators sat on the hs for 5 months before asking for changes. Now, another month (one of the two overlapped) has passed waiting for the agency to start working on their forms. That's 6 months of my excellent, on-top-of-things agency and facilitators not behaving in what I'd define as an excellent, on-top-of-things manner!

Guess what. Taxes are due and I got a raise this year. Nice, but it means my 1040 won't match my hs and all the financials will have to be re-done again. And, I still haven't heard from the facilitators here about the forms in Russian I need in order to notarize.

Let's introduce some levity here. I think we need a pool on when my papers will be complete, in Russia and translated. Be realistic not optimistic. The closest guess gets...the satisfaction of being right and a post acknowledging said rightness. Any guesses?

6 strange things...

Carrie (blog's gone private) tagged me to tell six strange things about myself. However, there is nothing strange about me. There are kateish things that the rest of the world hasn't managed to figure out yet; but I don't think I should be labelled strange just because the world can't keep up. I prefer, unique. Since I'm clearly not strange, I'll share those uniquities. (Like antiquities but from the root "unique".) ;>

1. All my pets have been named for Shakespearian characters.

2. I like standardized tests, diagramming sentences, and correctly using semi-colons.

3. When I'm sleep-deprived my eyes turn from blue-grey to bright green and my pupils contract dramatically.

4. I whistle in instead of out.

5. I have to have the toe seam on my socks straight and all cupboards closed. (There's a whole OC subcategory here, but let's leave it at that.)

6. I've never dreamed that I was flying or that I showed up somewhere naked.

See? Not strange at all. Of course, that's just the tip of the kateish iceberg...

Okay, you unappreciated weirdos out there--tell us six strange or uniquitous (like ubiquitous but from the root "unique") things about you.

adoption share-time

Just got an answer to an e-mail I sent my agency on 17 November. 'Nough said?

age?

Until this year, I've always described myself as young. I always say, when describing others, "Oh, s/he's young. She's about my age." This was true when I was 22 and when I was 32 and even last year at 36. But, I realized that I haven't said that in months. Is it because I'm out of my mid-thirties and officially "thirty-something" now? Is it because I'm in Russia where the living is hard and I've aged exponentially? Is it because I'm adopting? Children do make you older. I'm the "youngest" of my friends (who are actually younger than me chronologically) because I'm single and without children. I've always been young-looking, so that figures in here somehow... I still have no greys (touch wood) and few "signs of aging". I don't know what it is, but suddenly I've stopped describing myself as young.

But, I don't know what I am, then. I've quit categorizing the young along with me, but, I'm not old. Not yet. I loathe the term "middle-aged". So, you thirty-somethings...what ARE we?

All this age talk reaffirms that adopting in the 4-6 range (as planned) makes sense. It gives me children the age that they'd be if I'd had them when I thought I'd have them. (Make sense?)

That's all. Nothing earth-shattering. Just an interesting kateish insight. (Well, I thought it was interesting...but years of acting have made me rather self-analytical--an acting term for "self-absorbed".)

radio shack

You've got questions--we've got answers.

(Well, that was Radio Shack's slogan for awhile. Is it still? See-no pop culture.)

Ann Marie--BBC Prime is like BBC America, but for Europe and Asia. I've no doubt that you already have BBC America. If you don't, shame on you. I'm revoking your anglophile status if that's the case.

**Edited to add: We'll just have to count your lack of BBC America as another adoption-related sacrifice. And that's a BIG one for you.

Debbie--Thanks for the internet idea. Unfortunately, you can only watch if you're in the US. How they know, I'm not sure... A friend here has a sling box. THAT is way cool! It's hooked up through her mom's computer to her computer. She can watch anything that's on at home.

Carrie--The only place I can imagine putting my daughter(s) in school is at St. Peter's Episcopal in Chattanooga, Tennessee. All my college friends are now in hysterics. I was never a big fan of Chattanooga. But, that school is amazing--really warm and loving. I can't imagine going anyplace else. I'm just waiting for them to have an opening so I can apply to go back there.

no place like it

I've got one English tv channel, for which I'm very grateful. BBC Prime is my only opportunity for "shows". It does put me in a weird time warp, because most of the shows are several years old. That, combined with being out of the US for three years, leaves me feeling a little out of touch with current pop-culture.

Right now there are lots of "lifestyle" programs on BBC Prime. It makes me think about what sort of house I want when I come back. I'm REALLY ready to come back...to be home.

I want something that is relatively close to school. I'd like a two-story house with three bedrooms upstairs. Two baths would be great. Downstairs all I really need is a large living room, a good-sized kitchen and an eating area. I'd rather have it attached to the kitchen than have a separate dining room, I think. I'd love the kitchen to be big enough for a sofa and have a fireplace at the end. A fenced back yard would be a big plus.

I love Tudor houses! I can't live in a ranch-style house. I don't sleep if I'm on street-level.

But, I started feeling several years back when I was really longing for a home that "home" wasn't about a house. It's about who lives there. I can't wait to be home!

quick quote from martha washington

By now you know that I love words. I love playing with them, crafting them, discovering them... There are so many words already spoken, already written that make me pause and say, "Ah, yes. Well put. Very true." I thought I'd share some of my favourites with you. I won't share them all at once, because then you can't savour them. I'll give them to you a little at a time.

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have (also) learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances.

Martha Washington

fun thursday--sooo not

See what happens when you tell me to post the bad and the ugly in addition to the good? You get it.

Today? Well, I had snarky comments from the facilitators (I need a nickname for them ala Ann Marie to distinguish them from my actual agency) when I e-mailed to verify the forms I needed to notarize here, instructions from the notary (passed on to the un-nicknamed facilitators) that I bring my forms in English and Russian, and a landlord who won't give me permission to include my lease in the dossier. Fun.

Edited to add: Fed Ex still hasn't delivered my "overnighted" documents to my sw.

Edited again to add: I've just been informed that the US office doesn't have the forms in Russian and I will have to get them from the Russian office. I say, "Huzzah!" I've not been allowed to speak to them until now.

too much English

I have a new little girl in my class. We're so glad to have her! Not only is she sweet, sparkly and cute as a button, but this puts our total to 9 boys and 5 girls. Alice doesn't speak any English yet and is encountering schoolwork that is harder than at her previous school. She's hanging in there (and, of course I've made many modifications to help her cope). But, today, it was all too much for her. At 3:00, she just burst into tears and wanted her Papa! I hugged her and reassured her, got her sister to come give her a hug and then helped her to be really busy--with me in close proximity. I also set the timer to 30 minutes so she'd know how much longer she had in school.

It just all got to be too much. I know how difficult it is for me to sit and try to make sense of Russian for an extended period of time. Three days of school in English was just overwhelming. But, she stuck close to me for the last half hour, the class was kind and concerned (whew--but most of them have btdt at some point) and the time ticked away. No more academics for us--just the guessing jar and some rug time instead!

I do love the fact that she continues to speak her mother tongue (mt) to me all them time. I speak English to her--with lots of visual support and pantomime, she asks a question in her mt--completely expecting me to understand her and without any visual cues, and I answer in English--with more visual support. It works pretty well most of the time. She's the most verbal esl student I've ever taught.

She's plucky and determined, so I don't think it will take long until she's speaking. There's just a switch that flips in these children and they go from glassy-eyed to talking. My other two no-English students are now starting to speak, one more than the other. My esl kiddos last year spoke more quickly and more fluently--but one was a CHATTERBOX who was just dying to talk to me and to her best friend. Her determination to speak rubbed off on the other two and so they all made good progress in their spoken and written English.

Today's meltdown made me think of all those new families who brought home a school-aged child. I imagine that the English immersion these children face is often just as stressful...and there's no timer ticking down to the time when they will be back with people who speak their mt. Any stories you want to share?

do-overs

**Edited to generalize.

I thought I'd told you all about this, but now I think I complained about the hs on an adoption forum or two and in a yahoo group and then didn't post it here...because I can't find it either, M!! Maybe I was in a paranoia period.

In November, my facilitators looked at my hs which they'd had since JULY, one-two-three-four-five months, and said that it needed to be written in a completely different format.

My sw has been very, very patient with their demands. They keep asking for things we've already done and demanding things they never told us they needed. It's just a huge struggle to get it done their way--not "Russia's" way, although that's what they insist. My sw is also part of a placing agency who does St. P adoptions and she's never heard of the things they're saying are required by the St. P MOE.

The biggest part of the battle comes in attrition.

So, that's where we are. I think we're so, so close to having everything finished. But, I've thought that before.

To give my facilitators the benefit of the doubt, another ap who used them said they never have last minute demands made of their clients once the paperwork gets to Russia. Everyone who uses them has a smooth time in court. So, if I can just figure out what they want and get it to them, I should be jake.

better, Lauren?

Lauren was commenting (rightly so) on the fact that it's hard to keep track of my adoption progress. I can easily see how that's the case since when there's nothing happening adoption-wise that's what I tend to blog--nothing adoption-wise. Otherwise I get whingy and self-indulgent. Who wants to read that? Who wants to write that? Not me! (Okay, so sometimes it slips onto the blog, but I do try to keep those posts to a minimum.)

In an effort to help you keep track of what's happening (or not happening, as the case may be) I popped a timeline over there to the left. Please note there have been no changes since NOVEMBER (and early November at that). I'm hoping to get to add a January event or two. Maybe I should just make up events so that every month has something next to it. Hmmm...

recession

Here are some pictures taken on the way home on Friday to show how the water had receded in just two days. We're still at a higher water level than normal, but you can see it's dramatically lower than it was during our brief, and very exciting, flood.

If only all changes in Russia happened this quickly!



This picuture really shows it all. You can see the arch under the bridge, the round outcropping and the handrailing from the earlier pictures.




While this one is included just because it's pretty. ;>

flood!!

Yesterday we had a LOT of water in St. P! It's been so warm (10 C...so 52 F yesterday at 9 a.m. as reported by second grade) that ice upstream has melted. The Neva was very full. We even had the possibility of a DAY OFF today because the sewage and water supply at school was...compromised. Teachers were instructed to take class phone lists home and the office staff was scrambling to locate portable loos.

Unfortunately for those of us who long for "snow days" (a middle school teacher was calling our possibility a "toilet day") the water resided and we had class as usual today. Still, the possibility of a day off combined with the first blue sky we've had in months** had me fairly skipping home. Plus, I love wind. It's just so big and so powerful! I sang all the way across the bridge and out to dinner (at a yummy Georgian place nearby) with friends.

Here are some pictures I took walking home:

I think this captured it best for me. This is a set of steps that leads down to the river. You can usually walk down and, I don't know...fish? Do something with a boat? But check out the submerged handrailing!


This is Troitsky Most. Usually there is room for large hydrofoils to sail under these arches. The round outcropping on the right is street level--usually far above river level.

And this is an attempt to show you a little of the wind. This is looking towards Foundry Bridge and Smolney Cathedral. It's probably about 4:20 p.m. Note the sunset just starting. Days are getting longer!

**Christmas Day, 25 December, was a clear day. But, it was the only clear day we had in December! November wasn't much better. It's been a very overcast autumn. I think I saw more blue sky when I spent winters in England!

the elephant in the room

I think I'm adopting an elephant.

Some friends of mine who adopted from Russia took nine months, start to finish. Nine months! Nice, huh? I remember telling her I thought it was perfect to have the adoption match the length of a pregnancy. She, of course, felt like nine months was forever.

Well, it's been nine months since my homestudy visit. (That doesn't include the two-and-some years prior that I spent changing careers, paying off debts, and saving to afford the adoption.)

An elephant's gestation is 22 months. I was really hoping for a llama...gestation period of 330 days. (That would put court at the end of March..so it's highly unlikely, but not out of the realm of the miraculous.) Let's hope there are still llama possibilities out there DESPITE all the indications of elephants.

Watch This Space

Debbie asked what the reaction has been here to the new Family Capital Law. I haven't heard anything yet. (Remember that post about Russia being shut for the holidays?) But, I'll ask around once we're back at work next week and see what people are saying.

Basically, to boost a declining birth rate, Russia has introduced incentives for families to have more than one child--either biologically or through adoption. The government is providing a significant sum of money (250,000 rubles--about $10,000) in the form of a pension account. This is a one-per-family offer whether you have 2 children or 12. The money is a sort of voucher than can be used only for housing, education of any of the children or a pension. I don't really understand the pension part, but will ask.

**Edited to add this summary from an FRUA post:

If the 250,000 rubles was added to the pension fund (still need to clarify what this is), the pension will increase by 1096 rubles/month. The posters says this would buy two quarts of milk daily. (I pay 30 r for a liter for imported fresh milk, so that would be about right.)

The poster says the same amount of money would buy an apartment in Vladivostock (but I think he has his sizes wrong...I think he means sq m and not sq ft) or pay the entrance fee to university.

Safeguards have been included. The "vouchers" are not accessible until three years has passed from the date of the child's birth or adoption. Parents whose parental rights have been terminated, or who cancel an adoption, or who adopt a stepchild do not qualify for the new benefits. Parents who die, or who abuse, abandon, or relinquish their child(ren) pass the rights to the benefits involuntarily to their children. I read that as a person couldn't adopt a child, claim the benefits, relinquish the child and keep the benefits.

I know there has been a lot of panic in the IA community about this. I think most of it is unfounded. From what I've read, it's good idea that may lack funding. I think it's a very positive step that will allow families who otherwise couldn't to stay together. I don't think that it will significantly change the rate of international adoption. I don't think that there has been a great rush to the children's homes (but wouldn't that be great!).

it's all in the timing

I, so I've been told, have an excellent internal clock. I choose to take that as a compliment. This was a great assest in voiceover work where fractions of seconds count. I do generally know what time it is and can accurately predict how long it will take to accomplish a task, make a journey, etc. This is not an extraordinary talent, it's not on my cv under special skills, but it is a useful one.

"It is important to Americans to be on time," a student's parent told me once when she was apologizing for being late. And, I admit that it is important to me. I make every effort to be punctual. I think it's polite. I think it's respectful. However, the rest of the world doesn't necessarily view punctuality the same way. There are very different concepts of time out there. (I have been know to comment somewhat disparagingly on people's "loose concept of time".)

The following is from Mission to Tashkent by F.M.Bailey, a British secret service agent to Turkestan shortly after the Russian revolution. The following took place in October 1918 as he was fleeing the city of Tashkent upon word of his imminent arrest by the Bolsheviks. He was in a critical, life-or-death situation and was being assisted by a Russian guide. It just goes proves the adage, "The more things change, the more they remain the same."

I then learnt one of the intensely annoying failings of Russians of some classes. I was awake and ready early, but instead of starting they lighted a samovar and made tea. This went on till about nine. They then said that it was too late to reach the journey's end planned for that day so we would start at noon and make a short journey to Iskander village and spend the night there. This, of course, meant stopping in another house and giving more people the chance to talk to me and notice me. I could not do much. Markov was the only man who knew who I was and any undue haste or pressure might have made the others suspicious. At noon someone put up another samovar and my impatience was getting unbearable. Markov then said that there was a guard on the road and that we could not pass this till after dark, so it would be unsafe to start till four. At four someone started another samovar and then it was decided that it was too late to start at all and that we would go the next day! I later got used to this sort of thing, but at first under the peculiar circumstances of my case it was somewhat annoying.

This made me laugh! I hope you found it amusing as well. School starts back tomorrow, so my posting is likely to suffer. But, I'll endeavour to do my best!

interesting article

There is an article in The International Herald Tribune about the way Russia is closed in January. It's not terribly witty, but it is informative. (For those of you who were skeptical when your agencies told you everything was closed in Russia right now, this should be reassuring.) And the note about no traffic is spot-on. For the last week the roads have been clear.

We went to the new Mega Mall last week (Wow--much more than I expected) and it was packed with people. We did not, however, notice couples fighting after a 90-minute lull. Of course, the St. P folks consider themselves far superior to their Muscovite counterparts--so they're either not fighting or just hiding it better.

mars accuses venus

Edited to add: Thank you all for revealing the skeletons in your bathrooms. You've provided ample ammunition for both the Martian and the Venusian original debaters. (And, Devon, doesn't Timmy understand that having things under the sink is not really convenient? Expecting you to know what you need before you get in the shower is ridiculous. What if you slipped on the floor and broke your head open because you had to get out of the shower to get something? How would he feel then? And the small shower organizer? Mean. Just plain mean.)



A newly married friend has been taking some good-natured ribbing from her husband about the number of things that she deems neccessary to keep in the shower. She appealled to me. Having heard what's in my shower, he has deemed us both atypical and, well, nuts.

So, I'm appealling to you. She's in the US so I can't photograph her shower, but here's what's in the corner of my bath, shelf by shelf:

-2 different shampoos and conditioners (Some days I need more moisture, some days I need more chamomile. You should see how dark my hair is!! When Kat came back she thought I'd coloured it. Nope. Never have. It's just lack of sun!)
-a leave-in conditioner for when I'm in a hurry
-an extra conditioner whose matching shampoo ran out before it did (Okay, that should go...but go where? I can't throw it out. And, I don't want more of that shampoo. So, it stays for conditioner emergencies.)

-LUSH deep conditioner
-LUSH face mask
-LUSH face scrub (angels) in yellow container
-LUSH exfoliator (buffy-but I use it for my hands not my backside) in blue container
-2 Dead Sea body washes, one that exfoliates and one that is just nice (presents from a student's family--thanks, Perelmans!)
-Method lavender shower cream (good for shaving, used only in evenings as lavender is calming)

-2 Dove body washes in different flavours-er-scents (Actually, I only like one and was going to put the other in the guest bath before I took this incriminating photo, but I forgot.)
-Citrusy morning shower gel (Hey--the sun still isn't putting in many hours here and I've got to be awake to face my second graders)
-Allure shower gel (Christmas present from my sister for when I need to be alluring. Thanks, Aims!)
-A pumice stone and Dead Sea foot scrub

I think this is perfectly reasonable. And, with very few exceptions, I use all these products regularly.

So what's the verdict? Atypical and nuts or perfectly reasonable? Atypical-ity is fine by me and a common kateish state, so speak the truth. I can take it. Better yet--show us all what's in your shower! You could be saving a marriage. ;>

New Year's Eve 2006

Since the cool kids have a slide show up, I certainly need to follow suit. ;>

We had a good NYE. My friend Kat returned from the US that evening. We chatted and watched a movie at her flat. Then, around 11 p.m., we headed over to Palace Square. it was snowing and just georgous out. After getting through the security, we found the crowd to be MUCH smaller than we'd anticipated. The square was only 1/3 full. There were lots of families there. There were people dressed up as all sorts of things--animals, superheros, Dyed Moros, etc. There were also many "young people" roaming about. Kat got bumped by a groups of pickpockets (I really think I've seen two of them at work on Nevsky) but her Jersey instincts kicked in and nothing was taken.

We watched some singing by local children and saw many different Santas from all over the world come and greet the crowd. The North American one said, "Hi. How are you?" We listened to the St. P mayor talk about St. P in 2006. And then, at 11:55 we watched Putin's speech. As the speech ended, the clock in Red Square started chiming midnight. (Since we didn't know that was how it timed out and there was no countdown it took us a few minutes to realize it was midnight.)

Fireworks galore!

Then, as the crowd shifted to one that was more PARRRRTY-oriented, we went home. Not a bad way to say goodbye to 2006 and hello to 2007.

HALTE

Usually I love my computer. I can spend hours wandering around cyberspace, looking things up, e-mailing, visiting blogs and adoption forums, browsing through virtual shops and generally wasting time. Living overseas is SO much easier with internet access. I can keep up with friends and family, order things from Amazon, eBay or Target.com... It's a good thing. I think I'd feel very isolated without it.

But, sometimes I approach my computer with dread. I avoid opening my e-mail. My stomach sinks and I just want to shut down. I'm so tired of receiving bad news in an accusatory manner.

Usually it's not as bad as I anticipate. And, I've learned the key is to wait before replying to an e-mail that upsets me. You know the HALT rule: Don't make important decisions when you're hungry, angry, lonely or tired. (I think I first heard that about going shopping...but it's applicable to a lot.) I've added an Olde English spelling to the acronym so that it's HALTE--hungry, angry, lonely, tired or when you've received a disappointing e-mail.

I think once my paperwork is filed, my aversion will disappear. I think I'll look forward to opening e-mails that have the address that causes me to tense up right now. Someone tell me I'm right...

Just wondering if anyone else has this aversion to their computer. Anyone else having a love-hate relationship with technology these days?

new year's wishes

**Edited to add Valentina's wish

I received some lovely New Year's wishes this year that I wanted to pass on to all of you.

May your new year be peaceful, beautiful and bright; filled with new hope and dreams!

May the time ahead be filled with peace, harmony, sparkly snowflakes and miracles!

And, three greetings that I want to pass on to other pap's:

I wish you quick, productive & successful bureaucratic interactions.

I wish you a celebration with your daughter next year.

From Valentina, who took me to the children's home, "I wish for you all good things in the new year. I wish for you to be a mother. Soon!...Yes, in the spring when all things are new and starting."


Wishing you all joy in 2007! (That is a wish for all joy, not wishing y'all joy.)

traffic calming & mountain roads

Wouldn't it be great if this last post of 2006 (well, probably the last post...who knows what inspiration tomorrow will bring?) ended with some good news about my adoption? Wouldn't it be fantastic to hear that all my documents were in and being translated in anticipation of being filed when the offices open again on 15 January?

Yeah, I think that would be great, too.

It would also be a big, fat lie. Nothing has been completed. This is not my fault. All of my work, save one document I've repeatedly asked for and not received help with, is finished --and has been for months. The facilitators for my agency are still making demands of my sw regarding the homestudy. They are still not answering questions I ask of them. I am very frustrated with them.

Last week I was really upset to think that 2006 would end without my papers being filed. I know 31 December is just an arbitrary date. I didn't even realize that I'd set it as a deadline in my head. But somehow...not filing by the end of the year was big.

I know, I believe, I am thankful for the fact that this adoption, like everything in my life, is planned for me. I know God's timing is not my timing. (Please--how many times have I had THAT lesson?) I believe that His plan is better for me than any plan I could devise for myself. (See previous parentheical remark.) I'm thankful that I have a loving Father who wants more that what is good for me, He wants what is best for me.

But, despite all that knowledge and sincere belief, I was still a little sad. That, too, passed and I'm now waiting again--and striving to do it as cheerfully and as patiently as I can. I'm trying my best to be thankful in all circumstances. I'm even thankful for the extra time it's taking for this to go through. It's not fun and it's not what I would choose, but, obviously, there is a reason for the delay. Either I'm not ready for her or she is not ready for me or there is some other reason that I cannot even begin to imagine that needs more time. Ripples. (Any Joan of Arcadia fans out there?)

So, the journey continues. In England there are signs that read "Traffic Calming" that come before speed bumps. When driving in the Rockies one encounters many twists and curves to keep drivers from going too fast. Slowly but surely, with twists and curves and traffic-calming speed bumps, I'm making my way through this. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Please stick around. I hear there's a beautiful sight at the finish that you've got to see.

2007 is the year of the pig. In elementary school we said "pig" stood for pretty, intelligent girls. Hmmm...sounds like my kind of year.

maya padrooga, Dawn

In case she starts to chime in with her far greater first-knowledge of life in Russia (Well, former Soviet Union...though most here find the idea of Ukraine as a separate country preposterous. But, it's probably best not to tell them that.), I thought I'd show you who she is. These are pictures of her (on the left) and I in the Summer Garden last summer. These, I think, are the only pictures that both she and I would approve.




Can you tell which are the statues? We irritated the serious statue-lovers when we were doing this...



And, here's the Summer Garden now. All the statues have been boxed up. The un-boxing of the statues is as sure a sign of spring in St. P as robins and crocuses are in the US.

SNovim Godom

One of the boards I'm on asked for some more information about New Year's celebrations, particularly Dyed Moros. I thought some of you might find it interesting, too. (I'm hoping my friend Dawn, whom I'm not sure would appreciate being linked but I'll do it if she wants, will chime in here with her experiences living in Kyiv, Ukraine.)

So, we remember that the communists basically did away with Christmas and moved the celebration (tree, fireworks, Dyed Moros) to the non-religious holiday of New Year's. New Year's remains the big holiday in Russia.

Dyed Moros comes on New Year's Eve. He comes while the children are awake (parents arrange for someone to play Dyed Moros and give him the gift intended for the child/ren). After the child/ren recite and sing for him, Dyed Moros gives them their present.

[Dyed Moros came to our class at school. The children had to perform for him (they sang a song in Russian and a song in English), they joined hands and sang and danced in a circle (There is even a Russian word that means "to join hands and dance in a circle around the tree". My Russian teacher was not impressed that we didn't have a word for it in English. Somehow "encircle" didn't do it for her.). He asked if they had been good and then gave everyone an ice cream.]

Dyed Moros (and Putin's speech, special foods, etc.) all take place on the night of 31 December. They start eating at 11:00 p.m. to say goodbye to the old year, raise a toast beginning at the first stroke of midnight (after Putin's speech) while standing. Standing is very important but I don't know why. Then, they feast the rest of the night to welcome the new year.

My Russian friends are really looking forward to eating "holodyets"...which Dawn affectionately refers to as meat jello. It's layers of meat and veg in a garlic flavored gelatin. Marina likes to eat it over boiled potatoes. It's a BIG treat. Marina was telling me about how when she was little and lived in the village she would wake up FREEZING on the 31st because her mom had all the windows open to set the holodyets.

There are lots of "pies" eaten, too. They aren't made with pie crust, but with a sweet bread dough. They are filled with savory things like cabbage, chicken, meat or fish, or with sweet things like berries. (Chicken and rice is my favourite.)

Champagne and kissing at midnight! There are lots of fireworks (they've been going off for weeks now), too.

I'm not sure what I'll do for New Year's. Most of my friends are away--either in their homecountries or away at their dachas. A friend from the US will be coming back that night. There's a big party in Palace Square, but I've been advised to stay away. We'll see. I'm not really bothered. New Year's isn't really my holiday. Still, I'm looking forward to big events in 2007!

If I come across other interesting New Year's tidbits, I'll let you know.

inside shoes

Let's vote. Who thinks my friend Annette, who really likes handcrafts, should make me another pair or two or three of these slippers? Yes, she's busy planning a wedding, but I think it might help her to have something to do with her hands. ;> Motion carried!

I got these at Accessorize (and paid too much for them). I love how sweet and old-fashioned they are. Even the colour is old-fashioned. And, they're great to throw in my bag and take with me when I go visiting. That way I have a pair of indoor shoes always ready.

Actually, 'nette, d2b would probably love some, too. And they might be great gifts for the children's home...

a good book

My Amazon package arrived today with two new adoption memoirs. One I was foolish when buying (self-published and poorly written; lacking depth and insight). But, the other--WOW!

The Waiting Child by Cindy Champnella is amazing. I cried repeatedly as I read it (and that's saying something). It's about a little girl who was adopted from China (my first foray into non-Russian adoption literature)and her love for another child in her orphanage that she, at the age of four, cared for and mothered. It's about her adjustment to her new family and new life in America. It's about her passion for giving "her baby" all that she had been given.

Aside from the amazing story, I found the insights into what an "older" child experiences very helpful. Those of you who adopted older children, I'd be curious to hear how her adjustment compared to your children's.

If you're looking for a feel-good tear-jerker, read this book and tell me what you think. (Did you know that women's tears contain endorphines and men's tears don't? Interesting, eh?)

a better "B"

Books! I'd much rather here about everyone's book preferences than their beer preferences.

What was the best thing you read last year?

I have to say, I had a rotten year of reading. I read lots of adoption books, but they were homework. I re-read a lot of my favs--The Bridget Jones and Thursday Next books are always a safe bet and I can't go wrong with Austen or Shakespeare or Wodehouse. I re-read a lot of Russian authors... But the new books I bought (mostly when I was in England over the summer) were just rubbish. They were uninspired and uninspiring. The writing was weak. They just left me irritated that I'd wasted time, money and postage on them. And, this was the case with book after book after book.

So, help me out. I'm an avid reader. I enjoy a wide range of books--classics to chic lit, biographies and histories to mysteries, foreign translations to the backs of cereal boxes. Has anyone read anything clever recently?

I'm about to start David McCullough's 1776, which I'm sure will be brill, (he's another author I count on) but I'll need something for after. My friend Jen has sent me a load of paperbacks that I'm SO looking forward to getting! Talk about manna in the wilderness. What can you reccommend to keep me busy between 1776 and Jen's package?

(You know they say that your brain stagnates between the ages of 30 and 40. Do you really want the burden of adding to my mental stagnation?)

a-z

Or, since this was a tag by one of my British friends, I should say A-Zed.

A is for age: I am 37
B is for beer: I think it's nasty--smells bad, tastes worse
C is for career: Hmmm...I consider it a job and not a career. I am currently a teacher.
D is for my dog's name: Dog? No way.
E is for essential item used everyday: Angels on Bare Skin from LUSH
F is for favorite clour: charcoal grey followed closely by periwinkle...and the right shade of cranberry
G is for game: anything verbal or logical--especially if Nif and I are on the same team--or that I'm good at ;>
H is for hometown: Colorado Springs
I is for instruments I play: Still? Today? Nothing musical. (Though I have played piano, clarinet and French horn.) I'm a actor--my body is my instrument. ;>
J is for favorite juice: Tropicana no-pulp orange or cranberry
K is for who's butt I'd like to kick: I'm really opposed to violence.
L is for last place I ate: The Truesdale's--a family who had me over for Christmas
M is for marriage: Not yet. (Which one of you smug-marrieds came up with this for "M"? I'm contacting my singleton's-rights attorney.)
N is for my name: Kate
O is for overnight hospital stays: Nope.
P is for people I was with today: Today? No one. Loafed around at home.
Q is for quote: Today? "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." --Martha Washington
R is for biggest regret: Regrettably for those with inquiring minds, I will not share that with you.
S is for sport: to watch--American football
T is for travelled to: England, Scotland, France, Belgium, Russia, Ukraine, Czechoslovakia (when it was Czechoslovakia), Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Canada and across the USA
U is for current underwear: Yes. (What is this supposed to be?)
V is for vegetable I adore: cold, steamed asparagus in soy sauce
W is for wish: fervently
X is for x-rays I have had: foot x-rays to locate glass (exciting)
Y is for youthful ambition not fulfilled: to be an astronaut and own a lion
Z is for zodiac: Rubbish. (And believing that is, apparently, a characteristic of my "star sign". Go on--guess.)

Since this may not be everyone's cuppa, and many of you are busy during the hols, I'll just leave an open tag--copy and reveal all in your blog if you're so inclined! C'mon--play!

Happy Christmas. And ducks.

Wishing you all a blessed, joyful, magical Christmas!








This is a photo from last year when we had snow in December...
















...as opposed to this year when we have, well, ducks.





Benjabug and Lizzie-bee, your Auntie Kate is MISSING you and sending you great big hugs, sloppy kisses, silly giggles and lots of love. xoxo

secret dyed moros

This is a Christmas present for someone I don't know. If you're adopting a little boy (I'd guess he was three) from the Leningrad region who has crossed eyes, this present might be for you.

I saw your son last week. He was busy and happy. I came bearing gifts collected from my students. My students had wrapped them and put a sticker on them with a picture of either a girl or a boy. Your son managed to get a present away from one of the little girls. It had a little doll and a wand with a star on the top inside plastic packaging. Your son was intrigued and took the package from person to person asking them to open it. The caregivers told him it was for a girl and tried to discourage him. When he brought it to me, I pressed a button through the packaging and the star lit up. He was entranced! He continued to walk around pushing the button, watching the lights and then pressing his ear to the package to listen to the song it played. He was having a great time. The caretakers were concerned that it was a girl's present. So, they offered him a car instead. His eyes grew even bigger and he readily made the trade. He was so happy!

I just wanted you to know that he is doing well. He is happy and well-cared for. And, if you can find a wand that lights up, I'm sure he'd love that, too!

Merry Christmas,
Kate